For A “girl”

[Scarletbegonia]

I stumbled on this link, and thought of @Snarky_succubus immediately.

What’s the Best Way to Compliment a Fit Girl? [Or: What NOT to say to a fit girl!]

Compliments are a minefield, they can come across as objectifying, demeaning/negging (for a girl, little bitch boy, please, we are women. Call us girl, and we think of you as boys), note the cute and kind comment followed by a deflator, or thirsty.

Compliments when men are surprised to see women in “their” manly spaces are even more problematic.
It’s usually up to the recipient to “excuse” a double pronged statement.
But, the gym, the basketball court, the trail, even the ice, is not exclusively male domain.

What weird compliments (well intended or not) have flown your way just because men thought of something (place, activity) as “theirs?”

I’ve been lucky, and on trail, people are usually cool. I’ve had comments on my speed/endurance (it was the latter. They took more breaks, so I made more miles in the same timeframe).
Working in concert production, problem solving was often praised.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Same source
“You Sure Are Strong … For a Girl.”: The Myth of Woman’s Inherent Weakness

 

[Fredneck1951]

I stumbled on this link, and thought of @Snarky_succubus immediately.

What’s the Best Way to Compliment a Fit Girl? [Or: What NOT to say to a fit girl!]

Compliments are a minefield, they can come across as objectifying, demeaning/negging (for a girl, little bitch boy, please, we are women. Call us girl, and we think of you as boys), note the cute and kind comment followed by a deflator, or thirsty.

Compliments when men are surprised to see women in “their” manly spaces are even more problematic.
It’s usually up to the recipient to “excuse” a double pronged statement.
But, the gym, the basketball court, the trail, even the ice, is not exclusively male domain.

What weird compliments (well intended or not) have flown your way just because men thought of something (place, activity) as “theirs?”

I’ve been lucky, and on trail, people are usually cool. I’ve had comments on my speed/endurance (it was the latter. They took more breaks, so I made more miles in the same timeframe).
Working in concert production, problem solving was often praised.

I personally adore displays of athletic prowess by women. Long ago I played on a co-ed softball team with some amazing women. We won two consecutive championships and lost only one game in those two years. We won because of our superior women. The guys, well, we were OK but just OK. But our women were Amazon warriors who could pick it, hit it a mile, and run like the wind. Whew, just the memory makes me winded!

I was the nominal “coach” of the team, so what would I say? “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s kick some ass!” And we usually did.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

So the women carried the team?

 

[Fredneck1951]

So the women carried the team?

Oh, without a doubt. Our Captain was All-PAC 10 (and the best ballplayer of any sex I ever took to the diamond), our 1Bwoman was a Div II All American (and a first cousin of the great Jerry Rice of NFL fame), and our 2Bwoman was All California Junior College. The other women were no slouches, either.

I would tell the men, “Don’t screw this up.” I would tell the women, “You go, girls.” And they did.

Let me add that I adore feminine prowess in any and all endeavors. My wife was a concert pianist, composer, and orchestra conductor. I glowed with pride and admiration any time she took the stage.

 

[EllieP]

I go to the gym very early most mornings. Usually I'm in by 5:30 and out before 7:00. There were two ex-Marines who are usually there the same time. I always called them my bodyguards. They were wonderful and always gave the right compliments.

On the rare occasion when a newbie came in that early I would be cordial but distant. I never want to intrude on anyone's workout.

But that wouldn't stop them from trying to influence mine. My bodyguards would sometimes watch, and a few times they intervened on my behalf. Usually there'd be a "Dude, don't." But Matt would always make a crashing airplane noise.

The job sites were a different story, though. Most of the regular crews knew me, and we would work together just fine. But sometimes there'd be a new hire who want want to get close to the chica. I would always let someone else set them straight unless they were pretty blatant about it. But I'd rarely raise a stink to keep the workflow in line. But again, sometimes a time out to take care of nasty business was necessary.

 

[MickeyLee]

Tall for a girl...cuz statistically it's a factual statement.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Tall for a girl...cuz statistically it's a factual statement.

Aren’t you tall for a human?

 

[MickeyLee]

Aren’t you tall for a human?

True. I am tall for a human *living a lil alien/monster/humanoid fantasy right now*

 

[ChanelleNo5]

This is a shop where I live so you see the stickers on cars and stuff and I always thought it was kinda cute.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

"You have huge calves for a girl".

"You hit hard for a girl"

"You're voice is deep for a girl"

I've always been kinda buff/butch and it's always been noticed/commented on.

When I wore makeup for the first time people literally thought I had just moved to town. I've lived here my whole life.

 

[Holly Doors]

I think British culture and especially British innuendo is very different to that in the US, just the same as our sense of humour is often very different.
Mannerisms, greetings and compliments are also different. I can imagine that a fair few compliments and the way people address each other over here, may well offend some of my friends here who are used to your way of life over there in the US.
That said, there's always asshats who make inappropriate letchy comments or compliments wherever you are, the context can make all the difference, personally I'm a great believer in It's Not What You Say, But How You Say It. The tone in which something is portrayed also makes a difference, however that's a difficult one to put across in written words but I'm sure you know what I mean.

 

[LaFemme]

Just watching American Ninja Warrior - women’s championship. Pretty intense for any human being.

 

[Holly Doors]

I especially like the original Sasuke Ninja Warrior in Japan @LaFemme , my mind always boggles at the athletic capability of those competitors, their strength and stamina. Also the grace at which some of them just fly thru the courses, leap around with such precision and scale those heights and all in such a short time, amazing people!

 

[Fredneck1951]

In cricket, football and golf the women’s field is made shorter/smaller.

However the statistics is in scores are very similar.

Unfortunately or fortunately the average strength isn’t the same as their counterpart sportsmen.

There will always be differences in both sexes that we have to accept. It’s just life and really who cares as long as we are all treated as equals.

Max

What you see when you watch women’s team sports, be it soccer, softball, basketball, hockey, whatever, is that despite not being quite as fast or as strong or being to jump as high, the women play the game THE RIGHT WAY, superior teamwork and technique while men are often undisciplined and prone to “hot dogging”. Women are just naturally more fluid and graceful than we louts. That’s one reason why I love ‘em so much.

 

[LaFemme]

I especially like the original Sasuke Ninja Warrior in Japan @LaFemme , my mind always boggles at the athletic capability of those competitors, their strength and stamina. Also the grace at which some of them just fly thru the courses, leap around with such precision and scale those heights and all in such a short time, amazing people!

I totally agree! They are amazing athletes. It’s beautiful to watch, in my opinion. Both the men and women. I swear I get a workout every time I watch - I’m always clenching and jumping around right with the athletes. Lol!

 

[Fredneck1951]

BTW, anyone recall the Star Trek Next Generation episode “Angel One”? It was from the first season, and posited a world where women were the bigger, stronger sex. The women bore the children (after all, they were stronger), and the men cared for them. Some of the Angelians were actually American Ninja Warrior Goddesses of the day. You could find it on Netflix or Hulu. Very cool episode. All the women were over six feet tall and badass, all the men around 5’6” and shorter, but not wimps or simps.

 

[Holly Doors]

I totally agree! They are amazing athletes. It’s beautiful to watch, in my opinion. Both the men and women. I swear I get a workout every time I watch - I’m always clenching and jumping around right with the athletes. Lol!

I know exactly what you mean, I couldn't even dream to do any of what those people do myself Lol, beautiful and so exciting to watch tho.

 

[Snarky_succubus]

I stumbled on this link, and thought of @Snarky_succubus immediately.

What’s the Best Way to Compliment a Fit Girl? [Or: What NOT to say to a fit girl!]

Compliments are a minefield, they can come across as objectifying, demeaning/negging (for a girl, little bitch boy, please, we are women. Call us girl, and we think of you as boys), note the cute and kind comment followed by a deflator, or thirsty.

Compliments when men are surprised to see women in “their” manly spaces are even more problematic.
It’s usually up to the recipient to “excuse” a double pronged statement.
But, the gym, the basketball court, the trail, even the ice, is not exclusively male domain.

What weird compliments (well intended or not) have flown your way just because men thought of something (place, activity) as “theirs?”

I’ve been lucky, and on trail, people are usually cool. I’ve had comments on my speed/endurance (it was the latter. They took more breaks, so I made more miles in the same timeframe).
Working in concert production, problem solving was often praised.

I can’t really recall specific weird ones other than people suggesting I could beat the shit out of them. That’s just odd to me because strength and ability to fight are wildly different lol but... I train to fight too, so *shrug* I’ve had plenty of people call me a beast. That’d probably rub plenty of women the wrong way... but I dig it lol I honestly believe that most people are fairly conscious of the negative impact that calling *most* women any version of “large” has... So, if they’re saying it... they’re either in the business of getting big and recognize/understand that you’ve put great effort into your muscle... or... they’re being assholes... even if they’re trying to mask it. I don’t really care either way. I own my bigness lol I’m not even slightly bothered by people calling me huge.

I did have one girl try to insult me by telling me that I look like a linebacker. That shit backfired on her in a major way lol She also said that she hoped I was as strong as I look... To which @socalfreak ”oh she is”. Again... big backfire. Feed my ego! Keep going lol

As far as “safe” things to say? I mean... there’s no “safe” really, right? Especially when it comes to bodies. If you’re concerned about it... compliment the strength, athleticism, or dedication itself instead of the body those things have produced. Those compliments make me smile 100% of the time.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I agree to a point. But are some of these compliments taken the wrong way?

I understand if it’s a backhanded compliment or condescension is intended. But if it’s merely a unintended slip or the like why are we getting so offended?

Have we lost some tolerance as adults?

Max

I don't think they're *taken* the wrong way, I think they're *given* the wrong way.

I don't flip out and correct someone when they tell me I'm x, y, or z "for a girl", other than informing them that I prefer not to be called a girl. As an adult I prefer to be addressed as a woman, or just something that doesn't imply that I'm a child.

I either just say "thank you", or "that's interesting" and move on. But maybe, having a discussion about it in an open forum where I can let people know how annoying it is without having to stress over how they may react in a public setting seems worth it.

If someone wants to give a compliment, personally I think it's much more impactful when they don't attach my gender to it. When I see a man with his face done and it's On Fucking Point, I don't say "you're good at doing makeup for a man". I just tell him how slayed his face looks, and that it looks stunning. See where I'm coming from?

I can be good at something without having to compare it to the way a man may do the same thing.