I need to give some context. I have 2 partners, and we date long distance. That may change next week, because I'm moving to Nebraska (which is closer to their locations). So it might be easier to meet them in person. They're also both wealthy, and they don't judge my financial situation (I get government assistance, which I had to get in order to leave my abusive family) - and I've never been accepted like that in my entire life, especially without hesitation, which truly means they care about me.
I only have one question - Because we're all closeted, what would be the best way to let them know about my family dynamic (I'm a domestic violence survivor - from both a relative and the other time was by the guy who gave me "my first kiss", and I'll leave it at that), I had an eating disorder for 20 years and healed from it 4 years ago, and I was an addict for 7 years) without being too graphic?
And what are ways to show them they can trust me?
We met online and had instant chemistry, which I never had with any of my exes until meeting my current boyfriends.
We talk about ways we can bond sexually, but I'm so nervous to open up to them emotionally (even though they have shared some of their own past with me as well).
Do you guys have any ideas? Especially since there are 3 separate issues I'm having to figure out (regarding my connection with them):
1. How to open up about my abusive situation, and the narcissistic abuse from family (my partners have never experienced narc abuse before);
2. I also want to think of ways to bond with them emotionally - but when we want to bond sexually, what are some ways to build trust with them in bed and even before sex? Almost like trust exercises, but specifically to strengthen our vulnerability as a couple in order to get to the sexual aspect. Sorry if this is graphic, but they're the first healthy partners I've ever had, so I even thought about bringing up the idea of the 3 of us going to therapy together, whenever they're in town to visit me (they live a few states away from Nebraska, in different directions).
So that the therapist can mediate, and help them feel relaxed with me (I cope with trauma through putting it into my music and comedy, to not only help myself heal, but using positive outlets like those can help other people heal if they're going through the same situations).
And please stay on topic - people have posted questions for me, to specifically switch the subject and it makes me lose my train thought.
And no hate comments, please - I have a tender and sensitive side that I rarely show anyone (I know how to show sensitivity to my partners after we build a rapport and become closer and fall for each other more, but the tough part is making those first steps and seeing my partners' reactions - My exes were never supportive of me opening up; and my family threatened me into taking down my YouTube videos where I explained the abuse they did to me - so the only people who've been supportive of me, my entire life, are my 2 current boyfriends).
I'd be heartbroken if we broke up before really building an emotional connection).
I only have one question - Because we're all closeted, what would be the best way to let them know about my family dynamic (I'm a domestic violence survivor - from both a relative and the other time was by the guy who gave me "my first kiss", and I'll leave it at that), I had an eating disorder for 20 years and healed from it 4 years ago, and I was an addict for 7 years) without being too graphic?
And what are ways to show them they can trust me?
We met online and had instant chemistry, which I never had with any of my exes until meeting my current boyfriends.
We talk about ways we can bond sexually, but I'm so nervous to open up to them emotionally (even though they have shared some of their own past with me as well).
Do you guys have any ideas? Especially since there are 3 separate issues I'm having to figure out (regarding my connection with them):
1. How to open up about my abusive situation, and the narcissistic abuse from family (my partners have never experienced narc abuse before);
2. I also want to think of ways to bond with them emotionally - but when we want to bond sexually, what are some ways to build trust with them in bed and even before sex? Almost like trust exercises, but specifically to strengthen our vulnerability as a couple in order to get to the sexual aspect. Sorry if this is graphic, but they're the first healthy partners I've ever had, so I even thought about bringing up the idea of the 3 of us going to therapy together, whenever they're in town to visit me (they live a few states away from Nebraska, in different directions).
So that the therapist can mediate, and help them feel relaxed with me (I cope with trauma through putting it into my music and comedy, to not only help myself heal, but using positive outlets like those can help other people heal if they're going through the same situations).
And please stay on topic - people have posted questions for me, to specifically switch the subject and it makes me lose my train thought.
And no hate comments, please - I have a tender and sensitive side that I rarely show anyone (I know how to show sensitivity to my partners after we build a rapport and become closer and fall for each other more, but the tough part is making those first steps and seeing my partners' reactions - My exes were never supportive of me opening up; and my family threatened me into taking down my YouTube videos where I explained the abuse they did to me - so the only people who've been supportive of me, my entire life, are my 2 current boyfriends).
I'd be heartbroken if we broke up before really building an emotional connection).
