Help - Anal Sex Question

[Str3tch]

Genuine Help Needed! So I'm a virgin with very little experience. I've been looking for someone to take my cherry.

And I've been talking to a guy who seems nice. But, and here is the issue I need deciphering. He's very much a top. He's very well hung (8.5 inches min) and that's obviously a problem.

So, he says he'll top me if I top him. Which, as 100% bottom I have no interest in.

He keeps bringing it up and up and I keep saying how much it turns me off. Today he's said (trying to justify why I should top him): He says I should top him first because if I have cum I'll be fully relaxed and then able to take a really large cock.

He seems obsessed with the "double" (which is us both topping each other).

Edit: He said today: Most doms/tops will when meeting a virgin bottom, will say that the bottom is sucked by the dom/top and then that the bottom fucks the dom/top. Especially if the dom is on the above average size. As they know the bottom will have better sex when the virgin bottom is taken".

None of this makes sense to me (as who wants to have sex after they've cum?). I've asked him to change the subject and stop talking about it, but he must have brought up the subject 20 times this week alone.

So, does any of this make sense to anyone on here?

Is this true? Does a top expect the bottom to fuck them?

Help!

 

[briacon429]

The simple answer is, if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t do it. And if he doesn’t respect that, then to hell with him.

(I was gonna say “fuck him” but that could’ve come across the wrong way!)

I do think it makes sense to experiment once you’re ready. In other words, even though you said you’re 100% bottom, you may try topping at some point to see if you like it. (I had the reverse experience: I thought I was a total top, but then I tried bottoming and I loved it.) All that said, you should always go at your own pace: at no point should anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want.

Good sex partners care about the other person, what they want, and what makes them feel good. The guy you’re describing seems to be focused on himself, which is a recipe for disappointment in bed.

 

[Str3tch]

Thank you so much - that means the world.

I'm going to blow this guy off (not literally lol)

 

[just rodger]

Doesn't make any sense to me either. But there are some strange beliefs out there !
8.5" is huge for your first cock.

 

[Str3tch]

Thank you. You so right xxxxx

 

[theplayerking]

Genuine Help Needed! So I'm a virgin with very little experience. I've been looking for someone to take my cherry.

And I've been talking to a guy who seems nice. But, and here is the issue I need deciphering. He's very much a top. He's very well hung (8.5 inches min) and that's obviously a problem.

So, he says he'll top me if I top him. Which, as 100% bottom I have no interest in.

He keeps bringing it up and up and I keep saying how much it turns me off. Today he's said (trying to justify why I should top him): He says I should top him first because if I have cum I'll be fully relaxed and then able to take a really large cock.

He seems obsessed with the "double" (which is us both topping each other).

Edit: He said today: Most doms/tops will when meeting a virgin bottom, will say that the bottom is sucked by the dom/top and then that the bottom fucks the dom/top. Especially if the dom is on the above average size. As they know the bottom will have better sex when the virgin bottom is taken".

None of this makes sense to me (as who wants to have sex after they've cum?). I've asked him to change the subject and stop talking about it, but he must have brought up the subject 20 times this week alone.

So, does any of this make sense to anyone on here?

Is this true? Does a top expect the bottom to fuck them?

Help!

There’s a difference between a Dominant Top and a Total Top. It’s sounds like your hookup is, like me, a Total Versatile with dominant tendencies. We get off on flipping with our partners, if only for a few minutes. If you’re a Total Bottom looking for a Total Top (or at least someone willing to play one in this scenario) you’re probably incompatible and should find another option.

 

[Str3tch]

There’s a difference between a Dominant Top and a Total Top. It’s sounds like your hookup is, like me, a Total Versatile with dominant tendencies. We get off on flipping with our partners, if only for a few minutes. If you’re a Total Bottom looking for a Total Top (or at least someone willing to play one in this scenario) you’re probably incompatible and should find another option.

Thank you. Great answer

 

[Brodie888]

He's trying to take advantage of your ignorance. Sounds like a total gaslighting manipulative narcissists to me.

Cumming does not make bottoming any easier. If anything, it makes it more difficult because your post cum clarity kicks in and you can feel more sensitive down there.

You would be best to avoid this guy completely. He does not have your best interest at heart and you do not want that for your first time.

 

[Brodie888]

I would not recommend taking 8.5 inches for your first time unless you have been riding large dildoes like a pro.

Smaller girth is better as well.

 

[dana2]

Not every sex encounter between men needs to involve anal sex every time. Tell him you are open to having him fuck you at some point in the future but not right away. Tell him you want to do other things first: oral, making out, rubbing cocks together etc.

 

[Lonan]

Solid points and advice already shared. There’s a difference between being a Dom (in Dom/sub dynamics) and simply liking control in bed.

From what you’ve said, he’s gaslighting and being manipulative. A true Dom or anyone who understands boundaries and consent would respect your limits in and out of the bedroom.

Choose someone who respects your boundaries and ensures everyone feels comfortable. That’s crucial for the whole experience, especially your first time.

Cumming does not make bottoming any easier. If anything, it makes it more difficult because your post cum clarity kicks in and you can feel more sensitive down there.

Very true statement here. Things can get insanely sensitive when you cum first as a bottom. Uncomfortably sensitive.

 

[Str3tch]

I lov

Solid points and advice already shared. There’s a difference between being a Dom (in Dom/sub dynamics) and simply liking control in bed.

From what you’ve said, he’s gaslighting and being manipulative. A true Dom or anyone who understands boundaries and consent would respect your limits in and out of the bedroom.

Choose someone who respects your boundaries and ensures everyone feels comfortable. That’s crucial for the whole experience, especially your first time.



Very true statement here. Things can get insanely sensitive when you cum first as a bottom. Uncomfortably sensitive.

I love you guys. Thank you