I probably should not reply to this and I want you to understand that this is my own personal story and yours will vary. I have been single since I was 32. I am now approaching 53 in a few weeks. In other words, I’ve been single since the time you were born. Through my early twenties, I boyfriend hopped. One left and a week later I had a new man. I was a hopeless romantic and always felt that I had to have a romantic relationship in order to feel whole. The irony was that most of the time ( they were a couple of exceptions) I was cheated on or they broke off the relationship. Sometimes far later than either of us should have moved on. And I was never truthfully whole. In a couple of cases we broke up and rekindled the relationship only to remember why we broke up to begin with. At the age of 32 I decided that I didn’t want the heartache of anymore break ups. None of the relationships were completely fulfilling, mutually. That always led to cheating, breakups or my least favorite, arguments. I began a new journey of life. A throuple of sorts. Me, myself and I. It was weird at first. Particularly when it came time to eat at a restaurant or go to a movie. I felt broken and undesirable. I was convinced that others viewed me that way as well. But I got acquainted with the idea and slowly fell in love with the idea! I live in Tampa now and I was born and grew up on Bal Harbor Island in South Miami. I hate to say it, but you will have a difficult time finding lasting love in Miami. Cities like Miami and Orlando are very transient. There’s a new face to sit on every day and the thrill and temptation of someone new and different is far too enticing. Not to say that relationships are impossible but they require all the stars to align perfectly. Something that has eluded me my entire life. They typically become or start out as open relationships which has never appealed to me. You need to have mental, financial and emotional stability and you need to search out potential partners that provide the same. Compromise is necessary but it is a thin line between compromise and getting used or using the other person. Communication is an absolute must. So is trust, both in your self and your partner. I too hated hearing that old blow off statement about being young and having my whole life ahead of me. I was 22 and quite handsome just yesterday and now I’m nearly 53 and I’m aging like milk. For me though, it doesn’t hold the same importance as it does for a majority of people. I’m healthy and enjoy all kinds of outdoor adventures. I hike the mountains in Colorado by myself nearly every year for my birthday and I love to camp and mountain bike, but I can’t go balls out down a mountain anymore. I have to take it a little slower on hikes and such, but I’m living my life and I’m doing it for me. I love traveling alone these days. I go where I want, eat what I want and when I want. I don’t have to compromise or settle for something else ( unless friends or family are with me). It’s a freedom that I cannot express in words. I only have to please myself and if I do mess up , as humans tend to do, I find it easier to learn the lesson and move on. In relationships I always found myself right back in the same feels and situations time and time again. Long story short, take time to make yourself happy for no one else but you. Don’t do things with the hopes that someone else will notice and sweep you off your feet. Let that happen naturally. When you meet someone, let them see you enjoying your life and view them as strictly a friend. If a relationship deepens and you both are comfortable, happy and open to sharing your lives then go for it. Don’t rush in to anything. You’ll attract more positive people with positive energy. Desperation only pushes people away or attracts those that want to prey on you. The love at first sight situations do occur, but rarely. Keep that in mind and hold your heart close. You can let people in. I’m far from a hermit, but I have boundaries and I’m protective of them. I welcome people to share a mutual joy for things we have in common or even differences, but I don’t give out my light without getting to experience the light of the other person. This is a lot to digest and I am fairly certain you haven’t made it this far but in the off chance that I haven’t bored or scared you to death I want to end this novel by saying one final thing. Value who you are and what you share with the world. The rest will come from experiences, adventures, mistakes and the joy you find in your life. That comfort with yourself will project and attract similarly stable people for friendship and possibly more if you choose.
