Help With Pain During Anal

[EboniGoddess]

I'm having a difficult time with anal. Is there something you can use to relax the anal muscles? I mean, this guy really likes anal but the last time when I got home my ass was bleeding and it hurts. Any tips? Or is there a dildo that you'd recommend from Amazon for me to loosen things up before we actually went at it? When I was in my 20's it used to feel good but now every time he puts it in my butt my ass squeezes tight even though I be trying to stay relaxed.

 

[MickeyLee]

Umm if you don't enjoy it don't do it?

Sounds like your body is telling you no. The clenching up is a reaction to expecting pain. You might be willing, your body is protecting itself.

What kind of foreplay/prep are these fellas bringing? Bleeding and pain is a clear sign whatever is going on, it's being done incorrectly or for nowhere near long enough.

If you want to enjoy anal play for yourself my suggestion is spending some alone time with you and your butt. Fingers, lube, small toys. External stimulation, teasing penetration. Remind your body that anal is pleasurable and need not cause pain.

 

[Holly Doors]

Plenty of good quality lube for starters and if you wish to try training I found inflatable dildos and plugs were the best tools in my arsenal, with inflatables you want to pick one's you can comfortably accommodate deflated, don't buy the cheapest as they have thin walled jackets and don't really do the job properly. Take your time, make sure you're relaxed and comfortable, use lube, pump it up gradually. Set yourself a routine, stick to it and don't push it too far, adjust with time and that'll give you the best results.
As already said tho, if you really don't enjoy it don't do it. If you know your body doesn't respond pleasure wise from anal then there's no point, see how you go but if you don't start enjoying it tell your man it's outta bounds X

 

[RedDevilCock]

From a male if I may? If it hurts then no.
Talking about this he should be understanding if not I agree with both above just say no.

 

[LordCWB]

#1. Your body, your choice, your rules

Silicon lube, stretching with medium/large plugs/dildos.

Poppers help a lot and are relatively safe for a healthy person to use sparingly. But that's a drug and vaguely toxic over time and corrosive if used heavily ...so....IDK. They're fun though. Worth a try but definitely avoid heavy use. (Your man CANNOT use it himself if he's on boner pills)

I bought an Evolution Luminous Silicon Dildo in Medium. It's squishy and cleans east. Cheap.
--My dick is slightly over 6" in girth and its slightly less than that.

Review:

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Anal is often a spirit willing/flesh weak thing in my world.
So, he winds me up for it with flirting the night before (we aren’t cohabitating).

When we get together it’s all about slow. Unless I’m basically begging, it isn’t happening, and then it’s so slow.
A typical boink session is a couple hours. Add anal, and add an hour. Minimum.

I mentally prepare, I’m a clean it out so while shit happens, it doesn’t have to be every time gal.

All that said, for my partner it’s a “forbidden” thrill. He’s almost as happy with analingus and digital play. Almost. so I never feel pressured by anything aside from time, which is always a problem.

 

[MCA]

I’ve given a decent amount of anal to some women. The squeeze thing is a real thing that can injure both the man and the woman. If you think it’ll be too girthy, maybe try a toy/plug? But the main thing I would say is, and I know it feels counter-intuitive at the time: don’t squeeze! Put your ass in the air and open yourself (hopefully clean and well-lubed first).

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I'm having a difficult time with anal. Is there something you can use to relax the anal muscles? I mean, this guy really likes anal but the last time when I got home my ass was bleeding and it hurts. Any tips? Or is there a dildo that you'd recommend from Amazon for me to loosen things up before we actually went at it? When I was in my 20's it used to feel good but now every time he puts it in my butt my ass squeezes tight even though I be trying to stay relaxed.

Do you actually want anal, or simply to please this guy?
Because if this is just GGG, and not you thinking, damn, I want his dick up my ass, then you two will have to work something out between you.
Does he know you were in pain and bleeding? (And please, tell me you used condoms, that tearing is how things spread)
What was his reaction? Did you talk about how to make it work?

How did this resolve?
Anal Itching After Anal Sex?

 

[unassuming45]

Try anal ease cream

 

[big Italian cock]

hi would it be ok if i give a mans opinion ask your boyfriend to not actually go inside you . he can put lube on you then rub his penis slowly up and down your crack and put the tip in your crack just a bit slowly...if you are comfortable with it he can cum on your behind...i have done this with both guys and girls and it enjoy it a lot and they usually do as well

 

[big Italian cock]

i think sex is a healthy wonderful activity but pain and bleeding no thats no good at all

 

[WilliamG]

hi would it be ok if i give a mans opinion ask your boyfriend to not actually go inside you . he can put lube on you then rub his penis slowly up and down your crack and put the tip in your crack just a bit slowly...if you are comfortable with it he can cum on your behind...i have done this with both guys and girls and it enjoy it a lot and they usually do as well

I second this method as a fun precursor to actual insertion (if at all). Though my wife enjoys anal... just like @Scarletbegonia said, it takes time. The play in the crack method is a lot of fun and allows both parties to relax without feeling pressure. It forms trust in the idea. You can then decide if he slips it in a bit or not. One other upside to this method is many time a guy will not stay hard without some stimulation during the process.

If you have some flexibility, lay on your back with you legs up high for the entry. This allows you DIRECT contact with his eyes to control it. I find that once I get in, I stay still and we enjoy some passionate kissing for a bit. It's all about the mood so... Even better is to mount him cowgirl: You control it.

One other thing: Never ever use a numbing agent! This allows you to be torn without knowing it. They do have muscle relaxers that are safe though. Pjur makes one we've used.

Best of luck! And as others said, do it for you only if you want to try it.

 

[DiamondJoe]

Possibly post this in the Ask A Gay Man section but as an sexual omnivore I would say that I've met few women who actively enjoy anal sex and, tbh, you all have this wonderful set of organs round the front which almost look as if they were designed for dick.

Bottom line, if it hurts or is uncomfortable, or possibly you're not relaxed - don't force it.

I do sometimes wonder how porn has distorted male and female, straight & gay sexualities, expectations and practices.

 

[Dirkdiggler9.3x7]

Fuck a guy with a smaller cock. Ha

 

[Fredneck1951]

Fuck a guy with a smaller cock. Ha

That’s a good strategy. When we met, my wife (she was still my GF) liked anal and thought I would be a good fit. We tried it a couple of times, even using a vibrator-dildo for a “double penetration” experience for her. She really enjoyed it.

Me, not so much. What was my problem? The third time, I think, I pulled out and found some poo on Mr. Happy and I was like “Yuck.” (I was wearing a condom, although this was a decade before AIDS).

She said, “What’s wrong with you? You going to let a little shit stop you?”

The answer was yes. That was 1975, good heavens!

 

[Motion-of-the-Ocean]

The only time we did it, the wife found it too painful and never wanted to repeat it. Luckily I did not find it appealing either, so accepting this was not a problem. But even if it wasn't the case I would still respect her feelings on the matter especially given it's her ass literally on the line and I am very uncomfortable with causing a woman pain, even if she enjoys it...which explains why I've never done S&M.

So if it is causing that much discomfort you need to think about you and what he really likes is irrelevant IMO and any decent guy should respect that. And yeah, like it was stated upthread, I too blame porn for distorting men's views and expectations.

 

[Rewardheragain148]

I have a THIN penis . 8 bpel and thin so anal is on the menu for most of my girlfriends.

A training trick is lay on your side and have your partner lay down with you and have him lay still while you control the rate of penetration.

Explore the sensation of the penis around your anal cavity first then when your comfortable push back on your partner for penetration.

The sphincter muscle is made only to let things out so you have to push outward for the sphincter to open up more for full penetration.

So anyway the female controls the rate of penetration in anal sex imo; well that’s how I do it.

 

[Trunk8or]

lube lube and more lube, start off with a plug in during forplay as well will help. lots of foreplay. i would suggest you try a position that you are in complete control of the penetration not the guy. and also i will repeat what most have said and that is if you are not enjoying it, stop! its your choice

 

[dongalong]

American Bombshell Rockeye Gun Metal on literotica

Stretch yourself with a toy similar this before anal sex.

 

[MickeyLee]

Okay. That was a contribution.

Have some Rice-a-roni.