joe22xxx: Whoa, I just found this topic. It has been a really hard issue for me because I grew up in a neighborhood in NYC that was macho and Catholic. I was one of the guys who called other guys fags and queer. But everyone seemed to do that. It was a way for us to express our greatest fears...not being masculine enough, not being strong enough, not being man enough. I didn't think that there were any "real fags" at my high school or among my friends. In my senior year of high school, one of my buddies got into heavy speed use, and was really fucking up his life. I eventually asked him what was up with him & he broke down crying & told me he thought he might be gay. I didn't know what to say. I was so ignorant. He didn't seem "gay" to me or seem different. That's when my education about homophobia began. He and I learned together about his homosexuality. And because of him I'm still learning. I don't pretend to understand gay people's feelings and all the suffering they have endured, but having a close friend who is gay has been the most amazing education for me. And he is one of my few male friends who is not afraid to tell me he loves me.
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