Homosexuality v.s. Androphilia

[RealTigerDivalente]

Oh, my God. Now I see you have written a long message that reads like a confession. I am humbled by your faith in me to share something so intimate and personal with me. Perhaps you will broaden my understanding because, like you, I still have a very theoretical and philosophical approach to everything in and out of bed. Such disregards feelings and exceptions, which are also a part of life.

Perhaps I have not been "inclusive" enough, as evidenced by the lack of such real-life experiences and shared stories with me. That is the problem when there is excessive thinking and analyzing and insufficient contact with objective reality.

What you share are true-life experiences, not theories about sexuality and labels. As if going the gay route was the most objective, pragmatic, and realistic option for YOU, even if it is not for everyone else. "Gay" is a label for me, whereas exclusivity with males appears to be part of who you are, which is completely different.

Because that is our hardwiring, I have complete Respect and Support for everyone. We cannot be accused of it because that would be a direct attack on us and what is important to us. Now I see that what you are trying to accomplish with those studies is to better understand your own sexuality and intimate experiences, rather than simply being a +1 volunteer propaganda agent for the rainbow movement and its agenda.

 

[RealTigerDivalente]

It appears that you are having a deep internal experience that may have been prompted or triggered by me. Despite the fact that you are both an American and gay, I feel like giving you a virtual hug. So, I am not sure how appropriate it is nowadays to even give such a virtual hug.

That is why I dislike labels in general! They automatically complicate even the simplest things and stifle any spontaneity, resulting in unnecessary suffering in silence, particularly the inability to give and receive genuine care!

Both of us have suffered in silence from various labels, and it appears that we are not fans of labels, in AND out of bed. When you have suffered from something, you become disillusioned and can no longer view it through rose-colored glasses (again).

Keep in mind that the Sun is currently in exact conjunction with Chiron, which in advanced astrology represents an open wound. This is your intimate encounter with that lady. It has been unpleasant for you, but it has provided you with the gift of insider knowledge, for which you should be Grateful because you would not have known where you stand with females otherwise.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Fascinating watching two intellectual giants battle on the heights of Olympus. I answered “distinctions don’t make sense”. The last option, because I’m not sure how the labels apply. I like women and men sexually - i.e. all their parts are fun to play with, and I would say I prefer men with masculine features and women with feminine features, but it’s more about their demeanor and character. I k ow some amazing feminine and butch lesbians that I would totally do …. If they’d have me. The fact they don’t totally turns me wild with desire. I typically don’t like feminine men, but would never turn down playing with their fun bits and have met many with a great sense of humour and quite endearing qualities - as well as they seem often to me quite horney. So what’s not to like.
I don’t think that makes me pansexual. I think that is a broader term.
I guess I don’t really like labels. The more fluid the better for me and I feel I am a man. I’m a man in men’s clothing. I like sex and the warmth of a body. The integration with another human. Wanking is not the same (a poor cousin).
not sure I need or want a label. Bi, fluid, bromesexual, heteroflwxible, fluid… str8ish…. All will do.
did I answer correctly? Distinctions doesn’t matter?

 

[RealTigerDivalente]

The eternal Objective Reality has never cared if someone advertises themselves from 1000% straight to 1000% gay. Every day that he, she, or they did not address and satisfy their Objective Need for Safe intimacy, they were practically 1000% asexual!

When they grind their teeth and go to bed starving for even one small forgetful blowjob, they have an objectively asexual nonexistent intimate life, regardless of the labels and narratives to which they may subscribe and advertise.

As a pragmatic and objective realist, I strongly advise everyone to avoid being ASEXUAL because decreased testosterone production is the first and far from only one of the dire consequences of such common unhappy and dissatisfied intimate and, eventually, overall existence that is Not Worth Living!

Our great ancestors understood that they could fail in many ways, but they could not fail to enjoy regularly some Safe hard sucking, fucking, and cumming because it gave them one great enough reason to survive and thrive regardless of anything and, if necessary, despite everything! That is how we got to the 1970s, when everything had to change because of this damn out-of-control overpopulation!

 

[cuteboyinlv]

Now I'll also ask you a question: if you're a (candidate) scholar, why are you posting using closed-minded, hostile go away thinking and approach towards anyone who deeply cares about the objective reality and how things really work “in and out of bed”? That is totally incompatible and very hypocritical for someone who proudly puts everything through academic scrutiny out of fear to do not allow whatever information in your mindset!!!

 

[Kazimir]

Oh, my God. Now I see you have written a long message that reads like a confession.

Yes. I admit it.
I was the real mastermind behind the Antwerp Diamond Heist.

What you share are true-life experiences, not theories about sexuality and labels. As if going the gay route was the most objective, pragmatic, and realistic option for YOU, even if it is not for everyone else. "Gay" is a label for me, whereas exclusivity with males appears to be part of who you are, which is completely different.

Because that is our hardwiring, I have complete Respect and Support for everyone. We cannot be accused of it because that would be a direct attack on us and what is important to us. Now I see that what you are trying to accomplish with those studies is to better understand your own sexuality and intimate experiences

Precisely!
I think we've come to understand one another

 

[Kazimir]

Fascinating watching two intellectual giants battle on the heights of Olympus.

did I answer correctly? Distinctions doesn’t matter?

That seems perfectly appropriate. There isn't really a "correct" answer. It's all about how you feel.
(Not your feeling about labels and their utility — despite that being 90% of the comments, that's not what the survey is about — but rather, your feelings about people you may or may not want to have sex with.)

This survey was specifically aimed at gay men. I tried to construct a survey that wasn't specific to one sexual group, but it ended up being too confusing.
So, if you feel like the survey doesn't apply to you because it doesn't capture your feelings about women, that's why.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

That seems perfectly appropriate. There isn't really a "correct" answer. It's all about how you feel.
(Not your feeling about labels and their utility — despite that being 90% of the comments, that's not what the survey is about — but rather, your feelings about people you may or may not want to have sex with.)

This survey was specifically aimed at gay men. I tried to construct a survey that wasn't specific to one sexual group, but it ended up being too confusing.
So, if you feel like the survey doesn't apply to you because it doesn't capture your feelings about women, that's why.

That’s frequently happens with survey design.

 

[Kazimir]

Now I'll also ask you a question: if you're a (candidate) scholar, why are you posting using closed-minded, hostile go away thinking and approach towards anyone who deeply cares about the objective reality and how things really work “in and out of bed”? That is totally incompatible and very hypocritical for someone who proudly puts everything through academic scrutiny out of fear to do not allow whatever information in your mindset!!!

Just gonna duck my question? Alright, whatever.

It's not incompatible or hypocritical at all. Being open-minded does not mean accepting any idea, it means being willing to examine any idea. One of the ways you do that is to challenge the idea. Try to poke holes in it, find flaws in the reasoning, find counterevidence.
If it's an idea worth accepting, it will survive this process. If not, it falls apart, as it must. Without this process, it's impossible to know anything.

While I acknowledge that I may have been rude here and there, I have not been hostile, nor have I asked anyone to leave. However, my patience isn't limitless. Since your arrival, both you and he have taken swipes at me — not just disputing my academic points, but maligning my character, and insulting my personality.
He began this whole thing by insinuating that my survey is "propaganda nonsense" and a waste of time, and implying that I was brainwashed and part of a mass propaganda effort doing immeasurable damage to men everywhere.
Your first word to me was to dismiss my work offhand as "dry, useless theorizing" that could never benefit anyone, and denigrate my very ability to think by virtue of my age alone.
You can't honestly expect me not to get a little bit angry.

Since finding some mutual understanding, he and I have gotten less confrontational with each other.
That said, you characterizing this entire disagreement as you both being virtuous and kind, and me simply being hostile and unable to tolerate anyone who challenges my beliefs is ludicrous.

 

[Kazimir]

That’s frequently happens with survey design.

Right? It sucks!
The one that had bi options was like 400 pages, confusing as shit, and had a billion different choices.
Granted, the survey design on this one also kinda blows, but it was sort of done on a whim...

If you have any ideas how to ask people whether philia or sexuality is a stronger force in mate selection without specifically asking straight/gay people, PLEASE let me know! That would be waaaaay better.

 

[Lovetobetouched]

Right? It sucks!
The one that had bi options was like 400 pages, confusing as shit, and had a billion different choices.
Granted, the survey design on this one also kinda blows, but it was sort of done on a whim...

If you have any ideas how to ask people whether philia or sexuality is a stronger force in mate selection without specifically asking straight/gay people, PLEASE let me know! That would be waaaaay better.

Oh yeah - “Bi” is a whole ‘mother range of complexity.

i did personally find that distinction between sexuality and philia kind of difficult to comprehend.

if I understand you - it’s he difference between what excites your sexual organs (and your personal illustration of sex with a woman making you feel bad is a great one) and what “attracts” you to an individual. What qualities you find alluring whether it’s a woman or a man.

for me. I like manly men - and I think that has to do with my late development in puberty. I worshipped the physical features I could yet muster.

but my sexual organs respond to any intimate touch and situation. And I certainly don’t feel that “wrong” feeling. I feel joy and completeness.

perhaps it would be better for my marriage if I did feel that “wrong” feeling…. Just saying. I just think I am “sexual” and a normal healthy expression of that sensuality would be with a feminine woman or a masculine man. So butch ladies - love them as friends but I’m not attracted sexually. Effeminate men - love them as friends but not physically attracted.