I'm not trying to brag, really. My boyfriend is versatile and absolutely loves sucking on my cock, taking it even. I fucked him maybe 3-4 times but that's about it. He wants me to do it more often but I don't think I want to because well…….I'm an absolute bottom bitch! I get annoyed, almost upset when he reaches for my cock with his mouth! He blows me every time we have sex and I feel a bit uncomfortable whenever he praises how hung I am. I think it also has to do with the fact that my cock is cut and I've always preferred intact guys. I even used to discriminate against cut guys on Grindr because I only wanted intact cocks. I'm still like that. I believe I unconsciously shamed myself for having a « mutilated cock » as I call it and now I can't get my head out of it and feel ashamed by my cock. It's even worse because of how big it is yet I have no use for it…it's just embarrassing??!??? shameful, useless, almost ridiculous. Like why is that huge thing hanging between my legs and I have no use for it except for coming on my boyfriend's chest? It's just ridiculous…I have no clue why I'm going through all these weird feelings but I just hate it. How do I snap out of it?
_chrizzian_
Cherished Member
No Idea how to snap out of it, but i can confirm that there is nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, you didn't take that fat cock away from someone who likes to top. A big cock does not oblige you to top, just like being a man does not oblige you to have sex with women. Same goes for circumcision.
Sidenote: nowhere is it written that tops have to have big (uncut) cocks either.
1. So it is nothing to be ashamed of.
2. No "rules" are broken, because there are none.
3. Even if there were rules, you didn't choose to have that cock.
4. It's your body and therefore your choice alone what to do with it.
5. You can't change your size or sein, nor your preferences.
And as Maya Angelou said "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Hopefully reading this and seeing that there is whole pile of arguments helps you.
Sidenote: nowhere is it written that tops have to have big (uncut) cocks either.
1. So it is nothing to be ashamed of.
2. No "rules" are broken, because there are none.
3. Even if there were rules, you didn't choose to have that cock.
4. It's your body and therefore your choice alone what to do with it.
5. You can't change your size or sein, nor your preferences.
And as Maya Angelou said "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Hopefully reading this and seeing that there is whole pile of arguments helps you.
Tbprivate
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Guys often question why I am Bottom especially when they see my dick. They relate dick size to being a Top
The size of dicks and the sexual position various, that’s life
Maybe you could use a dildo on your boyfriend occasionally?
The size of dicks and the sexual position various, that’s life
Maybe you could use a dildo on your boyfriend occasionally?
I think a talk with your BF and being honest with your feelings is best here. As for snapping out of it, I think you need to get to the root of why you’re ashamed of your cock. I’m a total bottom as well and I’ve never used my dick before, so I know what you mean when tops reach for it and how it feels. I let them know that’s not something I’m into. I know that seeing a big cock is enticing, but setting clear boundaries is the way to go.
Saying you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you have might not help, so I would encourage you to practice self love and acceptance. I hope you get there
Saying you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you have might not help, so I would encourage you to practice self love and acceptance. I hope you get there
There are three issues here: the physical, the psychological, and your relationship.
As noted above, you can’t do anything about the physical. However, you should have a very frank discussion with your boyfriend as you have seemingly incompatible sexual needs. He needs to understand your feelings regarding your penis. And, if he’s truly versatile, you need to understand his equally strong desire to suck dick and take it up the ass on occasion. I’m not sure what compromise is possible, but you need to talk about it.
As noted above, you can’t do anything about the physical. However, you should have a very frank discussion with your boyfriend as you have seemingly incompatible sexual needs. He needs to understand your feelings regarding your penis. And, if he’s truly versatile, you need to understand his equally strong desire to suck dick and take it up the ass on occasion. I’m not sure what compromise is possible, but you need to talk about it.
ruggero
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Just a little thought....perhaps your boyfriend would really, really, deep down like you to screw him. He wants to enjoy your cock himself ? So don't just think about you, think about him when you're doing it. Might help all round.
I'm a total top and I am not a fan of small dicks, I don't care for how they look. I am all about big dick bottoms.
If you want to be in a monogamous relationship with someone, you have to learn to compromise in all aspects, including sex. It works both ways.
In a previous relationship, I was only allowed to cum from being penetrated by my partner. We did everything and I could masturbate but never to climax. I understood why. It made me a better lover being out of my brains horny all the time and for us it worked.
In a previous relationship, I was only allowed to cum from being penetrated by my partner. We did everything and I could masturbate but never to climax. I understood why. It made me a better lover being out of my brains horny all the time and for us it worked.
What's there to be ashamed of? You like what you like. I think you could not be so hard on yourself and be a little more flexible. If your boyfriend likes to pound you into the mattress and it gives you satisfaction, then what's the hard of returning the favor? Relationships are about compromise. Give and take if you will. He enjoys fucking you. Think about the pleasure he takes in giving it to you, and in return think about the pleasure you're giving him. Don't make it about your cock, make it about his ass and how much he's enjoying it.
Only adding my 2 cents because I haven’t seen it. Sex counseling couldn’t hurt. You might have to interview several therapists before finding someone who can understand your perspective. They don’t have to be gay but should be familiar with the gay community and relationships.
Regardless, communication is the key to any successful relationship.
Regardless, communication is the key to any successful relationship.
We did it again last night! This time I told myself there was nothing wrong with using my penis to please my partner and let go of the shame. It wasn’t the greatest sex ever obvi but it was better than usual when I top him…I still think I’m 100% bottom. Thing is he can’t take it for too long either so I don’t know if it’s about time or not? Because I’m not lying, really, I felt it coming even though it was taking a lot of time. Maybe I need a lot of time to actually feel it? I’m asking myself a lot of questions lately…
Also! I’ve been taking more pleasure getting my dick sucked by him. I don’t feel weird anymore…Even though it’s not as pleasing as taking a cock, it’s still nice!
I think you have to learn to appreciate with what you have been given. It’s just like some foods are your extreme favorites and others come afterwards, we all know we can’t have it everyday, but learning when and how often you can becomes key in a two way relationship.
a big dicked bottom is super hot. who wouldn't want to see a huge cock swinging under the guy you're railing?
I think it's fine that your boyfriend appreciates your cock, and it's rare to find a 100 percent top. Fact is if your bf is vers, he would crave taking and sucking dick whether you're hung or not, so it's not about your size that's causing his needs. Those are just his needs.
You know how good it feels to be fucked, so you could probably sympathize with your boyfriend in that regard. If you can't do it for your own pleasure, do it out of sympathy for his, and that can be a good feeling in its own right.
I think it's fine that your boyfriend appreciates your cock, and it's rare to find a 100 percent top. Fact is if your bf is vers, he would crave taking and sucking dick whether you're hung or not, so it's not about your size that's causing his needs. Those are just his needs.
You know how good it feels to be fucked, so you could probably sympathize with your boyfriend in that regard. If you can't do it for your own pleasure, do it out of sympathy for his, and that can be a good feeling in its own right.
I think part of what you're experiencing is your primary way of getting pleasure has been to be a bottom. Your brain needs to figure out the new sensations you're feeling now that you've taken a more active role in fucking your boyfriend. You're learning more about yourself and it takes time to figure it out. It's the same for someone who has been primarily a top. Being a bottom is a different experience. Nerves that were never stimulated in that way and now getting overloaded. It takes the body a while to figure out what you're feeling and where the pleasure comes from. Even though we're all focused on our cocks, the brain really is the biggest sexual organ we have. Learn what feels good for you, and then lay back and enjoy it.
- 8020,
First off, there is no reason to be ashamed of what you have (this is true for guys with of any size).
One suggestion, and only if it is something that you feel comfortable doing, you can try wearing a cock cage while you are bottoming.
Of course, the best thing to do is to have an honest discussion with your boyfriend so that he understands you needs and you understand his and determine what will make both of you happy.
One suggestion, and only if it is something that you feel comfortable doing, you can try wearing a cock cage while you are bottoming.
Of course, the best thing to do is to have an honest discussion with your boyfriend so that he understands you needs and you understand his and determine what will make both of you happy.
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