How the do you find a buddy?

[CollStorm]

I pretty much lay out that I want to find someone local to have sex with 1-2x a week. If a friendship is also something that they want, I would be okay with it. I pretty much lay it out on the line, but most of the time this is the response I get: "have pics?"

No response, no telling me their stats or what they want. They're just fishing for pics.

It also doesn't help that I refuse to give out my face pic at this point, because I'm not out at this point.

Like I said... I'm pretty much done. I haven't been putting up my ad like I have been and have pretty much walked away from the thought of having a regular buddy.

It just doesn't seem like it's worth the hassle at this point.

 

[ActionBuddy]

Not that I know what is right for you, Collstorm, but, if I were looking for a bud on websites and/or phone apps, and were getting messages that weren't appealing, or seemed like it's just another guy fishing for pics, I'd approach it like it is just "an amusement"... "Entertainment", while having my morning coffee, or biding time with an evening website perusal. Pass on, and delete the ones that you can't relate to, and perhaps pursue messages from the ones that seem sincere, without giving up your "space", or dignity. From my past experience, you never know when someone really cool, and into the same sort of "buddy" friendship you are looking for might pop up.

But, if it is feeling like a big waste of time, quit those sites for awhile. Take a breather, as it seems you are doing now... Maybe also join a few of the "just buddies" groups here at LPSG, and post in their discussions what your preferences and general location are.

There really are some wonderful men aboard this site. Maybe they won't be attractive to you as a friend, but, they might have some good advice for you for finding someone who is.

A/B

 

[CollStorm]

Thanks for the advice, I might just do that.

 

[splitmee]

Placed a ad about a month ago on a site and got a response from a dude moving to the area.

We talked for over a month. He couldn't wait to meet. Two weeks after he moved in, I thought this was the weekend.

Friday night: Out with his mother, "text you later". He never sent it.

Saturday morning: I have errands, but free this afternoon, I'll text you.

Again, he never sent anything, so I text him. Out with my dad car shopping, but will text when I get home. (This is around 3pm) Again, don't hear back, so I text him at 9pm and hear back about 30 minutes later. "Be home soon, I'll text you."

This time he did text around 10:45pm. "Home in fifteen" the finally "home, but a little drunk".

He decides that it has to be a blow n' go and the decides he is too tired. Perhaps we can meet in the am? "Text me at 7:30am".

Mind you, I usually don't wake up that early on a Sunday, but will for sex.

I wake up and text him on and off for about an hour, but never hear back. I roll over and sleep until 10.

I wake up and send a quick "what's up" and he responds "just woke up, but have to get ready, because I'm headed to the airport."

I basically thank him for making me wake up that early for no reason and for the game playing.

This is how it goes, rinse and repeat.

Something here...whole bunch of bs..or its a "blow and go" right now! Wait let me make sure your not some crazy nut. My DH says its a whole bunch of ppl that just want attention.

 

[plaerait]

Thanks for the advice, I might just do that.

I agree with Action's suggestions/advice. In addition to that. From the experience and your search for further guidance, in this regard. Be forward and up front of your interests followed with emailing, chatting, etc., so you can feel a social connections for a while before you share other personal informations, etc. If the person is in your local demographics, you include meeting out in a public environment when you are comfortable with that. The public environment (pubs, dance clubs, bands, etc.) will bring out other personal/social features of which they will either let lose and express them, or flunk that morbidly not being behind the curtain. Learn from the experiences and make the appropriate changes that will aid in you finding that connection(s) you seek.

You will find the joy and happiness in your search. All the best!

 

[ActionBuddy]

Good advice, generally, but I wouldn't recommend meeting in any place with loud music going on... Meet somewhere quiet, still anonymously, where you can actually talk to each other, and feel comfortable and safe. If it doesn't feel right, make a friendly excuse to get out of there, like, "I need to go back to work, now.", or "I have a dentist appointment in 45 minutes."...

A/B

 

[CollStorm]

Great advice from all of you, thanks.

Like I said, not looking at this point.

 

[Bigbozak66]

I'm fucking done!!!!

It is a shame... often times I feel the same way!

Many MEN as flaky as teen age school girls? Why do they even join these groups?

Totally believe many are simply looking for the ego stroke...yet lack the masculine confidence to actually meet.

Can't express how happy I am to be Bisexual!

 

[jaggent26]

are nipples a turn on or is it just me

 

[brooklynjackp]

To the original poster -
I hear your dilemma, but I want to ask you to challenge yourself a bit.
If most people ask for pics - get some pics!
You don't have to show your face - or even your dick - but it's almost always a way to signify serious intent on your side.
If you don't want to post pics in your initial post to a site - make it clear that you have pics if there is serious interest. Certainly there are pic collectors - but given the amount of free decent porn online - they are becoming rarer and rarer. I have found Scruff an excellent resource - Manhunt too druggy, Craigs list too weird, Grindr not user friendly.

And don't be afraid to drop a few bucks for a month-long membership - you usually get more bells and whistles, and a wider selection.
Also - flesh out (as it were) your profile on here - there's plenty you can say, and still maintain your privacy - e.g., "I love rodeos and long walks on the beach ... I work out 12x a week ... I love Jesus, but I also like to suck a big dick once in a while - you get the idea.

Good luck, fella!

 

[CollStorm]

Thanks for all of the advice. I have taken a major step back at this point.

I'm not really sure what my next step should be.

 

[bud77]

are nipples a turn on or is it just me

Just Us

 

[CollStorm]

I know that getting my nipples sucked on hits a trigger.

 

[baffledking]

You recieved tons of great advice, counseling, tips, and admonitions. Not much to add to it.

Its like the sun, moon and stars have to all allign. I've been searching for one myself for a few years now. Haven't found one yet. I do kick myself hard for not being proactive enough in staying in touch with some past contacts and some who I clicked with so damn well. Other priorities took over, got sidetracked and have no information to reconnect with them.

So my tip for you and some others would be to keep up with the communication or at least save their contact info (email, phone, address, anything) even if the sex ceases. This is for all the men that you probably will meet through this journey, move on to look for another after a night or 2 of fun for various reasons. Maybe some years down the line you may realize that he was worth keeping.

It can be frustrating at times. It may sap out all your energy at times ( some semen down the drain as well). You may be wasting some time.
But dont give up. You are not seeking a unicorn.

 

[bayareaBloke]

I'm not looking for romance. I'm just looking to get together with another sane guy, who just wants to get his rocks off once to twice a week.

I've tried Manhunt (no luck for two years)

Adam4Adam has been a joke.

Squirt.org is just worthless.

Craigslist is basically a bunch of closeted bisexual/gay guys looking for cock pics to get off to.

I'm seriously wondering how anyone does it.

I'm not much of a drinker or club person and I'm in the closet about my bisexuality. It's just hard for me to understand what I should do next.

okay because this was in the BI category... i was assuming the OP was talking about a MFM hookup. So when I kept scrolling I was confused.
but now I see what the OP is actually asking. and in response... maybe you are being too picky? I mean... what EXACTLY do you want in a guy? you say you just want another "sane" guy. and you've tried ALL of those hookup sites and couldn't find one guy?
It makes me think you're standards are too high... or maybe because you are so discreet you don't post enough pictures on those sites. Nobody likes a profile with no pic.

So ... dude, get out your smart phone, take some pics of your cock. explicitly say what you want in your profile. and you shouldn't have a problem.

 

[bayareaBloke]

not looking at this point.

wait? WHAT!!!?
i almost read through 4 pages of threads and you aren't looking anymore?
why not delete the thread?

 

[CollStorm]

Because if others can you it as a reference point for their troubles, why take it down.

As for the main point of contention with all of those sites, the main one is that I will not give out a face pic.

I have my very public reasons for not doing so.

 

[bayareaBloke]

Because if others can you it as a reference point for their troubles, why take it down.

As for the main point of contention with all of those sites, the main one is that I will not give out a face pic.

I have my very public reasons for not doing so.

well. you can not post a face but everything else. start chatting with a guy and if you think it's gonna be a legit hookup than show your face as a final thing.
how old are you?

 

[conntom]

Personally very frustrated with my own search too.

I through some ads up, I respond to some. I have no expectations at this point.

If the right situation comes along, I'm game. If not, it made for some nice fantasies....

Anyone in eastern Mass???

 

[CollStorm]

I'm 43 and getting to a face pic never happens, because they shoot me down before then.

No longer a big deal at this point, like I said before, no longer stressing over it.