How the porn industry is killing male intimacy

[Sagittarius84]

it might be because men are acting less and less manly, manifested as a failure to provide emotional, financial and physical security over the long haul.

And yet statistically the men that offer the least in the emboldened categories are the most sexually successful both in opportunity, and offspring. Fish don't get to call water a failure after they sought to evolve lungs, and most of those that relish in the fresh air will also dry out and die in the process.

 

[FrankieGuile]

And yet statistically the men that offer the least in the emboldened categories are the most sexually successful both in opportunity, and offspring. Fish don't get to call water a failure after they sought to evolve lungs, and most of those that relish in the fresh air will also dry out and die in the process.

You posit a premise that, if challenged, falls apart. Where is your statistical data? My casual observation tells me that the men who provide, or project a promise to provide, emotional, financial and physical security over the long haul are the most successful men with women because they are the most desired.

 

[Sagittarius84]

You posit a premise that, if challenged, falls apart. Where is your statistical data? My casual observation tells me that the men who provide, or project a promise to provide, emotional, financial and physical security over the long haul are the most successful men with women because they are the most desired.

Statistically more men with felony records have children than without, those men also have more children per person than the average law abiding man. And in just about every dating forum, online and off it is the men least likely to offer commitment that get the most sex. The reason why "casual observation" tends to imply otherwise is typically because said observation takes place within the scant 2-7 yr period men that genuinely provide emotional, financial, and physical security over the long haul actually remain married(hint: they tend to be 2nd husbands/step daddies).
From an early age, predating high school even, it's been statistically proven females show an overwhelming sexual/romantic preference for their male counterparts most devoid of said securities(meandering into secondarily psychotic tendencies) and that the long term providers get the chance to be "clean up man" in her late 20's early 30s, with statistically disastrous results.

 

[Sagittarius84]

My casual observation tells me that the men who provide, or project a promise to provide, emotional, financial and physical security over the long haul are the most successful men with women because they are the most desired.

Do you think there's any possibility that there is a discrepancy between ideological, publicly proclaimed desire, and desire that actually culminates in non comittal, primarily offered fucking? Because my casual observations have shown me that often times the desire for long term security doesn't kick in until after the consequences of what their actual desires are have hit.

 

[MisterB]

Statistically more men with felony records have children than without, those men also have more children per person than the average law abiding man.

I'm struggling to believe this to be true; please provide a link to said statistics you are referring to. Thanks.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Do you think there's any possibility that there is a discrepancy between ideological, publicly proclaimed desire, and desire that actually culminates in non comittal, primarily offered fucking? Because my casual observations have shown me that often times the desire for long term security doesn't kick in until after the consequences of what their actual desires are have hit.

If you're asking if men can "fake it" then you need look no further than the female landscape littered with broken dreams of finding a man who can be a man. Some women are clever, and either by dint of upbringing or experience, vet a man thoroughly against their high standards to make sure he is an appropriate mate. Other women are just foolish, choose poorly and live to regret their foolishness and poor choice. I presume you are speaking of these more foolish women upon whom some men prey.

 

[Angelit]

Why would u think on PORN only? I mean, take a quick browse to hundreds or thousands of Instagram accounts and there’s clearly an “ideal stereotype” of what a manly man should look like… but I’d take that any given day over the fem / ambiguous or boyish/twinkish look of the “men” models on mainstream publications, movies, tv etc…

As of dick size… it has ALWAYS mattered regardless social media or porn… 30+ yrs ago back in highschool or the “communal” or opened showers and steam rooms at the gyms during the 90s and 2000s… everybody gay / str8 was looking at each other… not like annoying uncomfortable staring, just the casually “checking”…

Finally, and straight up, gay men… we are 1000% more self concious about our physical looks than str8 men (remember when we call them “metrosexual”?)… and eye candy: hairy pecs, powerful arms and legs, bubble butts and great packages are more “enjoyable” either way.

So, just my humble opinion, not much has changed and I’ve been on this planet for almost 5 decades!

I agree with you, social media in general can become harmful to one's self esteem and distorted body awareness, however, the core of the problematic here is how the male nudity taboo is rising and feeding a system that only does harm. And I know dick size always mattered, but you can not deny men nowadays are more self conscious than ever, and as long as the death of male comunnal nudity persists there is no way we can go back to how it used to be. You said yourself 30+ years ago everybody was doing the casual "checking" and it wasn't unconfortable. My point is that such ordinary and colloquial interactions are now practically nonexistent. The lack of opportunities for non-sexualized communal nudity contributes to a scenario where what was once ordinary has become extraordinary.

Acknowledging that self-consciousness about physical appearance, including concerns about penis size, has always been present, it's undeniable that contemporary men seem more self-conscious than ever. The demise of communal male nudity further exacerbates this issue. By normalizing non-sexual interactions and embracing diverse body types, we can create an environment where men feel at ease with their bodies without succumbing to stereotypical pressures.

It's not about idealizing the past but recognizing the need for a positive change in our current attitudes toward male nudity. Encouraging open discussions and breaking down the taboo can pave the way for a healthier perspective, fostering acceptance and diminishing the harmful effects of unrealistic societal expectations.

 

[Angelit]

A phobia refers to an irrational fear. This very forum, and plenty of platforms are full of threads of gay and bisexual seeking methodologies to observe and partake the sexuality specifically of men that are straight. I'd wager the "Ask a Straight Man " section has maybe 5% of the questions being lodged by women interested in men, if I'm being generous. 90% is gay and bi men, as well as some MTF transwomen seeking loopholes in seeing straight men naked, or touching them, etc. That's not even getting to threads that of which gyms/locker rooms are most full of opportunity.
I think most straight dudes may overestimate their individual appeal to gay guys around them, but gay guys, in their own words and writings have made their subtle predation clear enough that I think most straight men are justified in some level of apprehension of communal nudity that isn't necessarily rooted in some pornographic misconception.

Can't you see that this also part of the issue? The lack of opportunities for non-sexualized nudity contributes to the association of nudity being something inherently sexual. When individuals are only exposed to nudity in a sexualized context, such as in pornography, it creates a strong association betwen nudity and sexual activity. This association is not inherent but learned through societal patterns and exposure. If the only exposure to nudity is within the realm of sexual content, it creates a conditioning effect where the mind begins to automatically connect nudity with sexual intent. This conditioning, in turn, can shape perceptions and behaviors in communal settings, leading to discomfort and unease in situations that involve non-sexual nudity. That's a huge part on why I believe the taboo must come undone.

As for your concern about the threads and discussions on platforms: You indeed highlighted a important specific issue, but it's essential to recognize that these instances don't represent the entirety of communal nudity experiences. The existence of individuals seeking to observe or engage in sexual activities doesn't negate the potential benefits of non-sexualized communal nudity.

I also want to ask, why is male intimacy so dependant upon nudity or our comfortability in being physically naked with each other? That seems a bit of a gynocentric perspective as to how people should be able to be amongst another without their being sexual undertones present....what if male intimacy is rooted more in being more emotionally naked(not necessarily expressive) and honestly supportive in a way that a lot of women don't necessarily recognize?

Promoting nudity acceptance doesn't diminish emotional intimacy; it expands options. Embracing both fosters a richer experience, acknowlefddging that emotional closeness and comfort with nudity can coexist, offering diverse roads for connection.

 

[Angelit]

Also look how the world tends to respond to positive examples of male non sexual intimacy, especially that of heterosexual men...deep platonic male intimacy like that of say, Captain America and the Winter Soldier is labeled a "bromance" by primarily women, who will then stand arm in arm with LGBT folk at casting men as homophobic when they insist these relationships do not have an underlying sexual/romantic tones that the gay and queer communities can feed off of.

I agree with you, it's important to deconstruct stereotypes that dictate how men should behave. The automatic labeling of any non-sexual intimacy between men as potentially homoerotic is a manifestation of a sick agenda. Diverse expressions of male intimacy can exist without romantic or sexual undertones. The notion that any form of affection or intimacy between men is immediately associated with homoeroticism reflects a form of internalized homophobia and structural sexism (yes, I fckn hate fujoshis). It implies an underlying belief that emotional closeness or privacy sharing between men is equivalent to romantic or sexual attraction, perpetuating harmful stereotypes that undermine genuine connections, only harming men.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Promoting nudity acceptance doesn't diminish emotional intimacy; it expands options. Embracing both fosters a richer experience, acknowlefddging that emotional closeness and comfort with nudity can coexist, offering diverse roads for connection

You never really answered the question, why is nudity this baseline from which male emotional intimacy needs to start? I'll buy that in a more "evolved emotionally intimate state" that non sexual communal male nudity would probably be more ubiquitous, but nobody ever seems willing or able to explain why it needs to be the 1st step in the process. It's very hard as an exclusively heterosexual male to not see agenda and undertones at play when in every attempt to broaden our scope of emotional range starts with LGBT and allied female voices insistent that straight men need to 1st start getting naked with each other before they are deemed as emotionally healthy as they.

Can't you see that this also part of the issue? The lack of opportunities for non-sexualized nudity contributes to the association of nudity being something inherently sexual.

If sexual predation were not a thing I'd wholly agree with you..again you never see a calling for say, inter-gendered nudity as a means to better the relationship between straight men and women, so why is there such confidence in that gay/bi men and straight men are immune from the obvious consequences that will stem from the aforementioned construct?

 

[ILoveGames48]

If want to blame porn for making guys feel less appealing because of body and penis size Isn’t because of porn.. its not the industries fault you watch it..


Just like for years the only thing you saw were girls/women sexy with perfect bodies and breasts .. this is the same thing

I know when I watch porn not all men are huge n hung and last forever fucking.. it’s a media that entertains people whether they are alone or with someone..

I’ve been with guys that would watch a porn with me and say.. don’t you have anything better than this .. I be like what way.. he said guys with bigger cocks..

He enjoyed guys with big cocks even though he wasn’t big ( barely 5 inches) but that didn’t keep him from fucking me what makes things suck is in the real world when people see a guy with a small penis they pick on him and act like he is t worth the time..


And it’s the wow factor.. holy fuck look at the size of that dick .. I am near 9 inches myself and meet guys they won’t take it all but only half so I do as want. ..


If the porn industry is making you feel this way then why are you watching g porn


Q

 

[darkninja]

Sex education is VERY IMPORTANT. No offense but this forum is proof of what happens when sex education isnt taught. Porn is supposed to be entertainment, not shit you get life lessons from. Its crazy seeing how unprotected sex is becoming the norm amongst gay men simply because some dumbass porn actors and porn studios decided to ditch condoms and big pharma pushing bullshit like PreP. Sex doesnt run my life thankfully unlike some people acting like they have no fucking sense.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Well let me say first .. get off your high horse — and quit dictating what you think about sex education and all.. you don’t know me or anyone else on here ( of course unless you know people on here personally not just on here chatting ) …

Unprotected sex has been around forever .. stds and diseases caused by promiscuous sex has been around forever ..

So porn or nothing has changed that .. porn actors aren’t stupid because they decide to have sex unprotected sex.. it’s their choice and it isn’t up to you to decide what is right and wrong in what they do….


You as a person has the ability to not rent bareback porn or any kind of porn straight or gay..

So there are guys on here that do basic sex with or without condoms .. or bondage kinky sex and all kinds of other shit that you may not approve of.. but we don’t need your permission to live our lives the way we want..

If you came here to lecture about what’s right and wrong .. this isn’t the Maury povich show or dr Phil

 

[Sagittarius84]

The fact that porn is highlighted as a problem for men(while literotica or social media in general arebnever highlighted as intimacy killers for women) betrays the gynocentric perspective from where this question is even posited, and it's sad that it's typically gay or bisexual men are the ones that bring it up in this manner.
I can think of 3 non sexual reasons why men's intimacy is suffering off the top of my head that far outweigh any influence porn has wrought: a lack of collective hands on tasks for men to tackle like days of old, a social and scholastic agenda of catering to feminine tastes and preferences, and a lack of controlled violence and competition to build camaraderie from a young age as per the aforementioned agenda. If anything porn has been an effective means of staving off the consequences that typically come about when men are subjected to such things.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Well I am sure a few men meet this criteria even without porn as an issue.
If you read this statistic bullceap from a persons opinion like a doctor or therapist/psychiatrist or just a popular author of a story .. don’t believe in all that you read as they are all biased. Against a specific group of peopl.


And yours is attacking gay and bisexual men…

Controlled violence? I guess all gay men and bisexual men are violent and unable to control their anger ?

Lack of collective hands on tasks for men to tackle like days of old—- what does porn have to do with that .. the days of “days of old” is normal stuff that occurs as a person is getting old .. men women gay straight or bi..

Statistics show blah blah blah ..

Find a book and quit reading senseless articles

 

[Sagittarius84]

Well I am sure a few men meet this criteria even without porn as an issue.
If you read this statistic bullceap from a persons opinion like a doctor or therapist/psychiatrist or just a popular author of a story .. don’t believe in all that you read as they are all biased. Against a specific group of peopl.


And yours is attacking gay and bisexual men…

Controlled violence? I guess all gay men and bisexual men are violent and unable to control their anger ?

Lack of collective hands on tasks for men to tackle like days of old—- what does porn have to do with that .. the days of “days of old” is normal stuff that occurs as a person is getting old .. men women gay straight or bi..

Statistics show blah blah blah ..

Find a book and quit reading senseless articles

You are triggered very easily...this was not an attack on anyone. It's an observation of sociocultural changes that have occurred in the modern age that have negatively affected all men, of all sexualities. All young men are largely being afforded fewer opportunities to grow and bond within forums of controlled violence and competition, and the gynocentric imperative with which society chooses to raise adolescents, has a negative affect upon all young men within their respective sexualities, but also in relation to each other.

"The days of old" refers to a time in Western History where a median offering of socioeconomic value was enough to afford the average man some manner of sexual access and sexual opportunity. Porn, which has existed since history was recorded tends to pop up not as a cause for lack of intimacy in men, but a response to the lack of intimacy men are afforded....Back in the days this ever growing population of men would either be culled by war, famine, or some sort of mass migration colonization. But today because porn is tied intrinsically with social media it exists as a virtual relief valve for increasing numbers of men unable to get the intimacy or variety they may have been afforded in yesteryear for a fraction of the effort on their parts.

 

[FrankieGuile]

There’s more! Communal nudity, particularly in contexts like school locker rooms or communal showers, can have a profound impact on developing males. It offers an opportunity for young people to develop a sense of communal unity and body positivity. This experience can help them build healthier perspectives on their bodies, realizing that there is no one "perfect" body shape or size. This contrast with the idealized bodies seen in pornography can be a crucial step in promoting body positivity.

Nudity in communal settings fosters trust among peers, which is important for healthy relationships not only during development but also in later life. Developing males who are comfortable with their bodies and have experienced comunal nudity may find it easier to develop healthy intimate relationships, prioritizing emotional connection and consent over unrealistic expectations perpetuated by pornography, communal nudity provides a real-world contrast to the distorted representations found in pornograpyh, helping developing males understand that what they see in pornography is far from reallity. This awareness is essential for reducing the harmful effects of pornography on their self-image and sexual expectations .

The taboo around communal nudity, as influenced by pornography, is stealing young men valuable experiences. As this taboo continues to grow, it becomes more challenging for them to access the positive values associated with communal nudity.

You assert much with an obvious bias for a desired outcome. There is no evidence that "The Porn Industry Is Killing Male Intimacy." There is no evidence communal showers is an answer to the presumed problem. There is no shared definition of "male intimacy." There is no evidence taking showers together, when circumstances dictate, is "taboo" or anything objectionable for normal people. You don't ask, "Is the Porn Industry Killing Male Intimacy" but posit "How Is the Porn Industry Killing Male Intimacy." I don't believe it is and believe your premise is absurd for the reasons stated above.

 

[elklindoxxx]

You don't ask...How The Porn Industry Is Killing Male Intimacy.

The more practical question to ask is: How does porn affect male intimacy?

And I imagine there are studies that show how porn consumption kills male intimacy for certain people. And there are probably other studies that show how pornography will benefit other people.

 

[FrankieGuile]

You don't ask...How The Porn Industry Is Killing Male Intimacy.

The more practical question to ask is: How does porn affect male intimacy?

And I imagine there are studies that show how porn consumption kills male intimacy for certain people. And there are probably other studies that show how pornography will benefit other people.

Kudos. It's much better to ask the question in an intellectually curious manner designed to stimulate honest discussion rather than in a biased, pandering way attempting to subversively arouse us for the prurient enjoyment of the OP.