How To Approach An "open Relationship"

[rickys9]

My boyfriend and I will have been together for 3 years next month. For 2 of those years, we have been cross country dating because he is going to ivy league grad school up north.

Among the normal frustrations that come with a cross country relationship, I am suffering sexually. We see each other once a month on average, occasionally more. We have toyed with the idea of an "open" relationship (mainly on my end). For the past year, I have occasionally hooked up with someone else with his permission. He usually gets a few videos for his viewing pleasure. BUT these hookups are just oral.

I find myself wanting more, full sex with other men, without recording. Essentially, I want the ability to be sexually independent if I feel the desire to. But I do not want to end my relationship and I do still want to have sex with him. He's the best sex I've ever had- but I never get to have it. There's no end in sight as his new job is also not back here at home.

How do I approach this conversation? I have introduced the topic before and it has been met with scolding remarks and judgement. It basically has to be on his terms and his conditions and I genuinely feel like it's my body & my discretion. IDK, maybe I'm just ranting at this point.

How would you (or how have you) approached this convo with your partner?

 

[trackjock13]

My boyfriend and I will have been together for 3 years next month. For 2 of those years, we have been cross country dating because he is going to ivy league grad school up north.

Among the normal frustrations that come with a cross country relationship, I am suffering sexually. We see each other once a month on average, occasionally more. We have toyed with the idea of an "open" relationship (mainly on my end). For the past year, I have occasionally hooked up with someone else with his permission. He usually gets a few videos for his viewing pleasure. BUT these hookups are just oral.

I find myself wanting more, full sex with other men, without recording. Essentially, I want the ability to be sexually independent if I feel the desire to. But I do not want to end my relationship and I do still want to have sex with him. He's the best sex I've ever had- but I never get to have it. There's no end in sight as his new job is also not back here at home.

How do I approach this conversation? I have introduced the topic before and it has been met with scolding remarks and judgement. It basically has to be on his terms and his conditions and I genuinely feel like it's my body & my discretion. IDK, maybe I'm just ranting at this point.

How would you (or how have you) approached this convo with your partner?

HONESTY AT ALL COSTS....best to discuss in person, I respect both your positions, and he sounds too good to loose. I have been fortunate as an exhibitionist to have a b/f who is a voyeur, but jealousy can ruin any relationship. Many guys can separate sex from love, and it just sounds like u only want to get off more often than he can accommodate due to distance, and it was nice of u to include him with videos at times, so I don't think u are out of line.

 

[7815281]

How do I approach this conversation? I have introduced the topic before and it has been met with scolding remarks and judgement. It basically has to be on his terms and his conditions and I genuinely feel like it's my body & my discretion. IDK, maybe I'm just ranting at this point.

It sounds like your boyfriend has already made his thoughts on the subject clear.

The next time the two of you are together, you can try broaching the subject again. Tell him that you don't want to lose him, but your sexual needs are higher than can be satisfied with just once a month visits. If he reacts the same way again, then you have a decision to make: Break up with him, cheat on him and hope he never finds out, or be faithful to him and buy some kind of sex toy to go hog wild with when he's away.