How to approach guys but not sure of their sexuality?

[DannyBabe]

Hi all,

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I've only just recently accepted my own sexuality (am a bottom), and am curious to start seeking out relationshipa (among other things) with other guys.

However, there is one individual that lives nearby who I occasionally spot when I'm on my way to work or to the shops, and I've just found out that he goes to a gym nearby.

He is absolutely my type: big, bulky but muscular, almost a foot taller, strong jaw and facial hair, well-groomed, olive skin - just perfect masculine figure.

What also catches my eye is his outfits whenever I spot him; real short shorts, tight around the crotch (holy shit is his size noticeable in them), with the cheeks of his bubble butt almost peeking out, and those spaghetti string singlets that shows off the chest and pecs with his nips in full view.

Not saying that straight men don't wear these kinds of clothes, but with as broken as my own gaydar is, this is giving me proper signals that he may be open to me if I approach.

Issue is, I'm also incredibly terrible in random social encounters, let alone in an encounter regarding a potential date/relationship proposition. I don't know how to get over the nervousness or apprehension to approach him and start conversation.

Does anyone have any tips or pointers, whether it be on building confidence in these situations, or just determining whether my assumptions about the guy could be right/wrong?

 

[Manasuyasiii]

Try to come across him in the gym. Be provokative around him. Tease him. Since you're a bottom, try to do squats in front of him. Play with him.

Then casually make conversation with him.

 

[Boaxy]

OP before I give my response.

How old are you?

Where are you from?

What race/culture/skin tone are you?

Are you feminine or masculine?

 

[Steve_Flint]

Hi all,

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I've only just recently accepted my own sexuality (am a bottom), and am curious to start seeking out relationshipa (among other things) with other guys.

However, there is one individual that lives nearby who I occasionally spot when I'm on my way to work or to the shops, and I've just found out that he goes to a gym nearby.

He is absolutely my type: big, bulky but muscular, almost a foot taller, strong jaw and facial hair, well-groomed, olive skin - just perfect masculine figure.

What also catches my eye is his outfits whenever I spot him; real short shorts, tight around the crotch (holy shit is his size noticeable in them), with the cheeks of his bubble butt almost peeking out, and those spaghetti string singlets that shows off the chest and pecs with his nips in full view.

Not saying that straight men don't wear these kinds of clothes, but with as broken as my own gaydar is, this is giving me proper signals that he may be open to me if I approach.

Issue is, I'm also incredibly terrible in random social encounters, let alone in an encounter regarding a potential date/relationship proposition. I don't know how to get over the nervousness or apprehension to approach him and start conversation.

Does anyone have any tips or pointers, whether it be on building confidence in these situations, or just determining whether my assumptions about the guy could be right/wrong?

I have always moved such a person into having a few drinks with me, probably dinner, too. You can tell a lot about someone who has had a few drinks. If things proceed pretty well, I have always suggested watching videos that are of a low key sexually. Then I turn up the heat to videos where there is actual fucking. I ran this out in one night to playing gay orgies, and the man, in particular, took off his clothes and got into my bed.

 

[dylanpoundcake]

thanks for typing this thread i feel the same, i want to learn more about public stuff and cruising. There are a really hot customer where i work whos there from time to time and i want to know what is in his pants so bad or get to know him more outside of my work.

 

[DannyBabe]

OP before I give my response.

How old are you?

Where are you from?

What race/culture/skin tone are you?

Are you feminine or masculine?

Hello!

I am 28 - from Australia (Caucasian), and have a more slim/feminine body type and like presenting fem, but can act masc.

 

[DannyBabe]

Try to come across him in the gym. Be provokative around him. Tease him. Since you're a bottom, try to do squats in front of him. Play with him.

Then casually make conversation with him.

I'd need a membership to that gym first . But just being subtle but not too subtle? Okay - will try to exude a little slut energy, thanks!

 

[Steve2a]

Don't know the transportation modes in Australia, but if it were California (and almost everyone drives), leave a note on his car windshield, and of course flatter him with what you find appealing about him. Sounds like he's a little narcissistic, and what guy can resist an honest compliment?
If you're trying to stay anonymous leave an anonymous way to contact you, otherwise give him your cell and ask him to text you. Just do it. Find out... so you can move forward, or move on, lol.

 

[chrissal480]

OP before I give my response.

How old are you?

Where are you from?

What race/culture/skin tone are you?

Are you feminine or masculine?

I am not sure where any of these questions matter with the topic at hand..

Years ago when I went to the gym .. I always would look at the others working out.. but I’d go Monday Wednesday fridays then some weeks just went Monday and fridays..

Several times it seemed like several guys were there same day and time.. so I just worked out.. one guy there.. Christian. .. saw me staring at him but I’d look away quickly .. one time he saw me me.. I just smiled and he smiled back .. he walks over to me and begins a conversation.. I knew then he was interested


A lot of it’s having the nerve to approach whoever .. just say hi.. see how he reacts .. then start conversation..

Keep glancing toward his stomach and cock area see his reaction..

 

[Boaxy]

Hello!

I am 28 - from Australia (Caucasian), and have a more slim/feminine body type and like presenting fem, but can act masc.

You're in your 20s. That age is okay for spontaneously asking guys out. The older you get, the more I'd advise you not do that/approach random guys.

You're from Australia, which for the most part is an open minded area/locale. If you were in a more homophobic/delicate area (Iran for example etc.) I'd advise you not to do that.

You're Caucasian/White. (Speaking as a Black man myself, so trust me on this). If you were POC/Black/Asian/Brown etc. you're taking a big risk, as I noticed for POC LGBTQ guys, asking guys out is like playing the lottery as to whether or not this will work, and you risk violence as well. As statistics report that more minority/Black LGBTQ are being assaulted/murdered in random LGBTQ hate crimes so yeah etc. So now that I know your culture, and knowing you're not a minority gay man, that's points for you, and a blessing you can count on.

You say you're feminine. Oh dear, this is your first strike against you, and you're gonna lose some points. As a fem guy myself, trust me. Masculine guys have it much easier striking up action between random guys/going to the gym/sauna room and giving body language/hidden message signals etc. Feminine guys, it's more awkward, and uncomfortable, (assuming you're approaching more masculine guys etc.). So beng I that you are more feminine, I'd be more careful, possibly grow some thick skin/not take rejections to the heart that much etc. But yeah.

Having said that, I'll say go for it. Odds are he's gonna be straight, but you could find a gay/bisexual guy that might be single and available and willing to hang out. I wish you the best of luck OP

 

[ZuhayrKhan27]

I am not sure where any of these questions matter with the topic at hand..

Years ago when I went to the gym .. I always would look at the others working out.. but I’d go Monday Wednesday fridays then some weeks just went Monday and fridays..

Several times it seemed like several guys were there same day and time.. so I just worked out.. one guy there.. Christian. .. saw me staring at him but I’d look away quickly .. one time he saw me me.. I just smiled and he smiled back .. he walks over to me and begins a conversation.. I knew then he was interested


A lot of it’s having the nerve to approach whoever .. just say hi.. see how he reacts .. then start conversation..

Keep glancing toward his stomach and cock area see his reaction..

Please tell us the story around Christian

 

[ZuhayrKhan27]

I have always moved such a person into having a few drinks with me, probably dinner, too. You can tell a lot about someone who has had a few drinks. If things proceed pretty well, I have always suggested watching videos that are of a low key sexually. Then I turn up the heat to videos where there is actual fucking. I ran this out in one night to playing gay orgies, and the man, in particular, took off his clothes and got into my bed.

Sounds sexy. Please tell us the complete story of the man who got into bed with you

 

[tallblondviking]

How about an innocent smile with "a little" eye contact to start. Something as innocent as that can be an ice breaker and give you a hint of his interest level. If he smile back and lingers with the eye contact, you're off to a good start.

 

[Jasonseele]

Deleted

 

[WilliamG]

Hi all,

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I've only just recently accepted my own sexuality (am a bottom), and am curious to start seeking out relationshipa (among other things) with other guys.

However, there is one individual that lives nearby who I occasionally spot when I'm on my way to work or to the shops, and I've just found out that he goes to a gym nearby.

He is absolutely my type: big, bulky but muscular, almost a foot taller, strong jaw and facial hair, well-groomed, olive skin - just perfect masculine figure.

What also catches my eye is his outfits whenever I spot him; real short shorts, tight around the crotch (holy shit is his size noticeable in them), with the cheeks of his bubble butt almost peeking out, and those spaghetti string singlets that shows off the chest and pecs with his nips in full view.

Not saying that straight men don't wear these kinds of clothes, but with as broken as my own gaydar is, this is giving me proper signals that he may be open to me if I approach.

Issue is, I'm also incredibly terrible in random social encounters, let alone in an encounter regarding a potential date/relationship proposition. I don't know how to get over the nervousness or apprehension to approach him and start conversation.

Does anyone have any tips or pointers, whether it be on building confidence in these situations, or just determining whether my assumptions about the guy could be right/wrong?

Have you ever considered trying "cruising"? Say thru an app like Sniffies? The reason I say this when I started looking around I had zero "gaydar" or "bidar" in my case. I could not translate a look or a guys behavior towards me in my normal gym/social interactions. But by going to a public area known to be popular with cruisers, I found my confidence improved greatly with spotting a candidate. It's hard to describe, but perhaps the look (direct) you/they give, or a slow motion grab to the crotch, and even mirroring your/their moves or inflections.

Recently I've chatted up with a couple guys at my gym (though they were not my type) because I could spot their signals and they could see mine. It's all very stealthy. It's a bit like fishing - but not letting the fish see your fishing pole.