How To Find A Fwb?

[LookingForSomethingMore]

Hi,

without boring you with the whole story ... I am in a very good and comitted relationship. However, due to circumstances my grilfriend currently has problems with sexual intimacy. She is proposing to find a "friend with benefits" to prevent me from getting sexually frustrated. I know I would never leave her for that, but I do think it is a good idea.

So .. I would like to find a girl/woman who would like to be my FWB knowing that it will not turn into a relationship. But how do I find someone like that?

Any tips?

Thx in advance!

x

 

[MickeyLee]

Yeah. Horrible idea.

Bringing a third person into a relationship, and this new lady will be involved with your partner even without direct contact, that is going great is challenging. Bringing a new person into the fold while one half is struggling with an issue is destined for misery.

One. Ya lady shouldn't feel obligate to your sexual needs right now. You should be asking for advice on how to support her. She is going to be experiencing the same sexual frustration. Along with whatever is going on and guilt that you are being deprived.

You know how to do you, get to it. Be a mature adult. Really, you went years without sex a few months will not kill you.

The only advice I have is talk to your lady friend. With more focus on what she is going through. Less on where you might be sticking your peen.

 

[deleted848353]

He says here he wants it to be another woman but his other post says he wants to know how to go about finding a guy to show him what being with another guy so I dont think he knows what he wants

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Are you looking to be permanently open? Or are you basically looking fora breathing fleshlight?
If this question offends you....think why.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

He says here he wants it to be another woman but his other post says he wants to know how to go about finding a guy to show him what being with another guy so I dont think he knows what he wants

Both posts are profoundly objectifying.
Other human as cock socket.
Basically looking for how to cheat. because I do not believe the partner is actually on board with the OP getting non attached on the side.

 

[nailz]

I've had friends with benefits while single. (I put every single highlight on that and still can't highlight it enough)
While in a relationship? It sounds like a recipe for jealousy issues and drama

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I've had friends with benefits while single. (I put every single highlight on that and still can't highlight it enough)
While in a relationship? It sounds like a recipe for jealousy issues and drama

this dude isn’t even wanting the breathing system for the pussy to be a friend because feelings.

 

[LookingForSomethingMore]

Yeah. Horrible idea.

Bringing a third person into a relationship, and this new lady will be involved with your partner even without direct contact, that is going great is challenging. Bringing a new person into the fold while one half is struggling with an issue is destined for misery.

One. Ya lady shouldn't feel obligate to your sexual needs right now. You should be asking for advice on how to support her. She is going to be experiencing the same sexual frustration. Along with whatever is going on and guilt that you are being deprived.

You know how to do you, get to it. Be a mature adult. Really, you went years without sex a few months will not kill you.

The only advice I have is talk to your lady friend. With more focus on what she is going through. Less on where you might be sticking your peen.

Thanks!

That is the best advice I 've gotten so far. And I think you are right. My girlfriend and I have been talking about this for a long time now. I have always been doubting if this would be a good idea. The biggest struggle is actually the guilt part. I do not seem to be able to convince her she shouldn't be feeling guilty about it. The reason I was trying to explore other options is because the guilt is not going away and she expresses to be afraid losing me because of this situation.

To be honest, I don't really feel like "cheating" on her and I feel the danger that comes with it. But also, I do miss the intimacy and even more importantly I want to find a way to fix the situation all together. I started thinking that trying this way might help with the "guilt" part. We are talking a lot about that and maybe this could take the focus off that part.

I am actually happy with your response. It enforces my feeling that this is a bad idea, which on one side doesn't bring me a step closer to a solution, but on the other hand confirms that this is not a good idea.

If you would have any tips, they are most welcome. Talking we do .. quite a lot, so that is not a problem. I am also very focussed on what she is going through, but I do feel powerless in helping her.

Thx!!!

 

[LookingForSomethingMore]

He says here he wants it to be another woman but his other post says he wants to know how to go about finding a guy to show him what being with another guy so I dont think he knows what he wants

I do know very good what I want. Being curious about experiencing sexual interactions with a man does not mean I am not very confident about my sexuality. My questions here were solely about seeking physical interactivity because I thought my current relational situation was calling for it and this might have been a good time to experiment.

With all the reactions I am getting it became clear that this is not such a good idea, which I find good input.

Even though I am no longer pursuing this option I still feel like it is a good topic to talk about and I appreciate the feedback.

 

[LookingForSomethingMore]

Are you looking to be permanently open? Or are you basically looking fora breathing fleshlight?
If this question offends you....think why.

No, I am not easily offended, even when some people react very judgy without knowing anything about the person they are reacting to and some people are trying to be very offensive. (I am not talking about you!). I believe that these kind of people are the problem, not me.

I am not looking to be permanently open nor for a breathing fleshlight. Actually I am not looking for anything anymore (but help/support in fixing my girlfriends issues). I still do want to explain: I WAS looking for somebody who understands my situation, is also looking for something physical without wanting more. Somebody who misses intimacy and wants to build a temporary, non romantic relationship out of that. I am sure there must be a lot of people running around like that and it is not easy to find what you're looking for because of the judgement that a lot of people show ...

 

[LookingForSomethingMore]

Both posts are profoundly objectifying.
Other human as cock socket.
Basically looking for how to cheat. because I do not believe the partner is actually on board with the OP getting non attached on the side.

And this is exectly what I mean with judgement and being offensive ...
I am not objectifying at all. I am very kind, open and honest, putting myself in a very vulnarable spot here. And all you do is judging me and completely diverting my question to a different subject.
If I would be looking to cheat I would just go out, pick up a woman for a one night stand and then forget about her without considering her feelings and if I would hurt her. (Somethin I really do not condone by the way.)

Please refrain yourself from mingling into a conversation if you don't have anything useful to contribute.

 

[LookingForSomethingMore]

I've had friends with benefits while single. (I put every single highlight on that and still can't highlight it enough)
While in a relationship? It sounds like a recipe for jealousy issues and drama

The more I'm reading into this it seems that you are very right about this.

Thx!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

And this is exectly what I mean with judgement and being offensive ...
I am not objectifying at all. I am very kind, open and honest, putting myself in a very vulnarable spot here. And all you do is judging me and completely diverting my question to a different subject.
If I would be looking to cheat I would just go out, pick up a woman for a one night stand and then forget about her without considering her feelings and if I would hurt her. (Somethin I really do not condone by the way.)

Please refrain yourself from mingling into a conversation if you don't have anything useful to contribute.

Self reflection isn't your thing, is it?

You do know that women are allowed to read the entire site, right? Not just what you post here? And.. sometimes when someone points out something about you that you may not have realized before, it's a good thing to take a moment and let it sink in. You can say "I'm not objectifying" all you want. How many times you heard Trump say "I'm the least racist person you've ever met"? Yeah

 

[Scarletbegonia]

And this is exectly what I mean with judgement and being offensive ...
I am not objectifying at all. I am very kind, open and honest, putting myself in a very vulnarable spot here. And all you do is judging me and completely diverting my question to a different subject.
If I would be looking to cheat I would just go out, pick up a woman for a one night stand and then forget about her without considering her feelings and if I would hurt her. (Somethin I really do not condone by the way.)

Please refrain yourself from mingling into a conversation if you don't have anything useful to contribute.

Your POSTS were objectifying. Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. Maybe you don’t see it.
You were literally looking for a no feelings situation. To preserve what you have at home, but other as object nonetheless.

And I’ll post in any place outside of ask a man/gay man/straight man/bi man/ transgendered person I damn well please. Because it’s ok by the rules of this site.