How to get over someone who never loved me

[fakeboiii]

We had been talking for months. He claimed that he was interested in me but only wanted to start seriously dating after meeting in real life. We lived on opposite sides of the world, and the soonest I'd be able to visit his country was in September of 2025, so I suggested video calling. When I asked this, he became super offended and avoidant, he acted as if I had just asked him for nudes. Nobody's forced to do anything they don't want to, but he posted daily thirst traps for his thousands of instagram followers and literally had an onlyfans, but video calling someone he'd been talking to for months is where he drew the line?

Since he refused to video call and only wanted to date if we met in real life, we agreed to keep it casual until I could visit him. Then he suddenly started complaining that September was too far away and that he might already have a boyfriend by then. I pointed out the unfairness of him saying it was too far away while absolutely refusing to video call or even do a voice call. There was already some tension between us, but when I said this he completely blew up on me and started insulting me and listing all of the issues he had with me. The argument ended with him claiming I hurt him (even though he was the one saying mean things and I was just defending myself). I apologized and explained myself, and since then he ghosted me on everything and I can't reach him anymore.

This was a few weeks ago, and I'm still very hurt. I truly had feelings for him, and I don't know if I'll ever find somebody like him again. I realize now that he was probably just toying with me and using me for validation, as I was always the one starting the conversation and giving him compliments. I feel like I want to expose him, he's relatively 'famous' within the online gay community and I think he even used to have a thread on here. I'm not sure what I'd get out of it, but I'm so hurt that I can't really think straight.

 

[GeorgiaMan]

My sympathies to you. I'd say every guy on this board has been interested in someone who didn't reciprocate at least once, including those who led us on intentionally or unintentionally.

While not unheard of extremely long distance connections that start online rarely work out. You mention this guy has an instagram and only fans presence. That type of personality tends to be narcissistic and looks for validation from what others think. From what you described it doesn't sound as though he was that concerned about your feelings, only his and what he wants. The fact he blasted you with the issues he has about you despite the fact you guys haven't met tells me he likely wasn't going to behave any differently in person. You also mentioned you always initiated the conversations which is another clue that he just wasn't that into you. It's not easy now and I suggest not following this guy anymore on online platforms. You've already spent more time worrying about him than he ever did about you. Don't dismiss your pain, let it be a lesson to keep with you moving forward.

1. People are assholes. This goes for gay and straight men and women and members of the LGBTQ+community. The large majority are selfish and only want what they want when they want it.
2. Relationships are hard even with those who aren't generally selfish because all of us are sometimes.
3. Let yourself feel the pain, but don't let one guy halfway across the globe steal too much of your joy and energy.

Hope this helps. Just trying as someone who has been in a similar situation years back.

 

[fakeboiii]

My sympathies to you. I'd say every guy on this board has been interested in someone who didn't reciprocate at least once, including those who led us on intentionally or unintentionally.

While not unheard of extremely long distance connections that start online rarely work out. You mention this guy has an instagram and only fans presence. That type of personality tends to be narcissistic and looks for validation from what others think. From what you described it doesn't sound as though he was that concerned about your feelings, only his and what he wants. The fact he blasted you with the issues he has about you despite the fact you guys haven't met tells me he likely wasn't going to behave any differently in person. You also mentioned you always initiated the conversations which is another clue that he just wasn't that into you. It's not easy now and I suggest not following this guy anymore on online platforms. You've already spent more time worrying about him than he ever did about you. Don't dismiss your pain, let it be a lesson to keep with you moving forward.

1. People are assholes. This goes for gay and straight men and women and members of the LGBTQ+community. The large majority are selfish and only want what they want when they want it.
2. Relationships are hard even with those who aren't generally selfish because all of us are sometimes.
3. Let yourself feel the pain, but don't let one guy halfway across the globe steal too much of your joy and energy.

Hope this helps. Just trying as someone who has been in a similar situation years back.

Thanks a lot friend. I think it's also my fault for hyping him up so much in my head, based on his social media he did seem like a perfect guy, but it's literally common sense that what people show on social media is a very carefully curated personality of themselves. idk why I let it fool me.