I really, really should have said this…
If I had only said that instead…
Oh man, why didn’t I think of that? Stupid!
Yep – I’m the king of the ‘coulda-shoulda-woulda’ said. My life would be 100% different if I had only said – even half of the time, hell, a quarter of the time, what in hindsight would have been a better answer. I am talking in any situation. Every time. I always mess it up. How you say? Want an example?
Easy. 6th grade with hottie Debbie with the budding tits. “What to come over and listen to music”. She was OUT OF MY LEAGUE. “Gee, sorry, can’t. My Mom needs me home to wash the dog”. Seriously. I said that. She just stared at me in incomprehension. She was offering me an invite to 6th grade taboo land – and I was too dumb to notice it.
Same again in 9th, 10th, hell every year. A buddy would be talking about some porn he had and wanted to know if I’d want to check it out with him…easily could have been a rub and tug and who knows what else. But nope, not me…”Sorry, can’t my mom won’t like it.” Again to an incredulous stare. Clearly, now I can see, he was like “who the fuck tells their mom” but he obviously thought I was way too much of a dumb fuck to even bother to explain the basic rules of teenage life…
And that’s been my life – the many missed sex ops come to mind, because who cares about the 2000 stupid responses to a better job, a better wife, a better frat, a better college….the list goes on. But somehow, somehow, it finally sunk into my brain maybe thinking BEFORE I said anything, and – you know, assessing a situation, maybe would allow me to up my chances of saying something less dumb. Which was encouraging to no end – got my fist blow job in a sauna at the gym as I watched one guy blow his load into another guys mouth as he was stroking his cock. I was staring and drooling, my mouth stupidly open…until the blower, his current buddy’s load blown, wanted to know if he could “help me out”. So I nodded and proceeded to have the most shocking orgasm of my life – shocking in that I saw my gism on his tongue but I was so keyed up I didn’t even feel the release. He was a GUY blowing me. Here, at the gym…
So my sheltered and pathetic teens rolled into a little more daring 20s, then my slightly emboldened early 30s, then to an experienced later 30s…but almost regressing in my verbal dumb ass – worried about saying the wrong thing and what people would think, etc. Pathetic and I knew it.
Which brings me to that fateful time and to finally saying, 100%, the right. I think. Maybe. Eventually. Thing. Best and most awesome thing that got me fabulously laid on a recurring basis – and with no collateral damage. PERFECT.
Spring, early last year. I was buzzing home, tunes on, shades on, mildly horny, but nothing out of control, just good. There is this dude – hot, trim, pumping hard as he runs up our steep hill. “Damn, who’s the hard body” as I pass by. It’s my street, so I’m not staring and getting jonesed…but I noted a definite hottie I’d like to see again – I was driving too quickly to check for any cock action (my favorite visual pastime) but the tight body was enough of a cheap thrill…Sigh, as the day and week went by.
I did stop in my driveway and the dude didn’t run by, so he was close – was he the neighbor? Ted or something. He’d texted about some work he was doing, and he and the wife ( I think) had honked and waved as I was out on walks or driving, but I didn’t know him from a hole in the wall. Hell, he’s the newbie, let him suck up to me…
Until Saturday. Out for a walk as it was a mild day for mid-March. Fuck. Same white nylon shorts and shirt as last week, so same hard body dude who riled me up last week…with a very obvious, you couldn’t miss it -- it would be rude to not acknowledge it….this large, puffy, cut, there, long, shlongy cock. In his shorts. Right there, swinging as he (Ted) walks up to me. I’m the literal deer in the head lights. My eyes are stuck on that magnificent cock. Eyes up dude. Fuck. Geez, Ted was kind of an ugly dude. I don’t mean ugly, just not my preferred hottie/pretty boy. He was just a dude. Working out, IN obscene shorts. He looked like a rough and tumble hockey player. A dude. A man. Totally not into making himself look good. But the hotness just oozed from him. But he was kind of butt faced ugly.
“Hey man, how’s it going” as he steps, cock swinging, down his small hill of a front yard. “Just awesome man, how are you? Pumping out some hard miles, I see – good for you” and he smiles, breathing a bit labored from his run. “Had to – if you know what I mean.” And he bends over, hands on his knees.
“You training or something? You look in great shape.” Ha, was his response – “I wish! No man, TMI but this energy is all, 100% unspent sexual tension.” Which does, as it would, leave me speechless. What do you say to that? What does an all straight man say? Let alone one with a healthy (and diverse) sexual appetite and morals more geared to openness? Or perhaps an ally cat, as the expression goes…Everyone should have a good time, after all…as I ponder an appropriate response, I see his wife go by in the house…so she’s not away/dead/ill….
“Dude, your wife is right there – go in and make her happy, it’s what we have them for in the first place!” There. I think that’s the right amount of cool and bravado…guy to guy. Go poke your wife. Gizz in her and your problem is solved…
“Ha, no joy there my friend! It’s PAINFUL. She’s totally on the rag and has been off limits for DAYS and it’s killing me” He’s still bent over and breathing, so I can’t see his face – maybe that’s what led me to be uncharacteristically bold – or maybe I just got stupid lucky. I’m thinking of awesome, daring responses “Let me take care of that for you, big boy” and “Please, fuck me right now, I need it bad” and even worse “Well, I am sure a cold shower would solve that”…none of which seemed suitable to the occasion, and, fortunately, I was saved from the inevitable embarrassment, by his further comment – “MY balls are so fucking blue I’m in pain. That run – I left my fucking jock at the gym in the city, stirred everything up and it’s like a corked bottle of fucking champagne – ready to blow”.. as he stands and his (semi?) is available for all and sundry to see…
“Ahhh” ...wimper…sniff…panic…”That’s awful man – I feel for you…been there, done that and it SUCKS…Hang in there, man, shouldn’t be too much longer, surely, no??” As he, hands on hips, cock protruding in its lazy idleness… begging me, so I am convinced, to make friends with it…
“No fucking way man, and that’s the fucking rub – she goes on the rag and it’s, like, 10 days of sheer hell. Moodiness, aches, pains, bitchy and she so does NOT want to hear about ‘my little problem’ ". Our eyes lock – go for it dude, man up…”So, dude – use your last report and take matters into your own hands…that should make you feel better, no?” God, I can’t believe I just (BOLDLY!) told my neighbor to jerk himself off! He’ll think I’m a freak and he’ll fucking never talk to me again and I’ll never see that awesome cock again – let alone up close!. My face is red and I’m dying a slow death here.
“Yeah, pathetically, that doesn’t work for me – I know, it’s sad, but like I can blow a load (of course!) but I get like total cummers-remorse, feel like shit, and them am back to being fucking super horned an hour later. It’s NEVER worked for me. I was always so jealous of buds who’d talk about rubbing one out and being good for a week. Never. I need skin on skin and sex to have any relief or it’s a total bummer.” He seems so real and so sad about the situation. Heck, I can see how that’d be awful. Every guy I knew – whether they’d admit it or not, loved tugging their chain…it’s what guys do, no? Wow – that’s a problem.
“Uhm, so like – don’t you have, like, a friend who can like help you out? Like, a little?” Which got me a nasty look. “I’m not risking my marriage to fuck some bimbo so I can get off…Not going to happen.” Ah. Yes, straight boy response. Should have seen that coming.
“No, like I mean, a gym buddy, a nice dude who’d blow you gratis in the sauna? Like, towel off, the guy likes cock, you let ‘em feast on yours, then go on your way…”
“Is that a thing? Do guys do that? No guys I’ve ever known have ever or would ever do that. I’m not getting on that app, what is it, Grinder?” Which leads me to believe, who the hell is he hanging out with? This is cool dude, formerly from Brooklynn, which was, IMO, anything goes, central…
“Um, like yeah. It happens all the time. Like every time I hit the steam room, there are always some dudes who look like they’ve either been going at it or are getting ready to…It’s what a “fuck buddy” or something? You know, ‘helping another bro out” – that sort of thing.”
“Really – like here? There are guys that’ll blow you in the gym? I could see in the city, but here?”
“Absolutely my friend! I do not tell tales, but it’s possible that maybe I’ve received some attention – but of course, only when it was absolutely necessary. I’m in a 100% committed relationship, and I love my wife, but every now and then a “buddy” can come in handy – so to speak.” I am so cool. So suave. He never even noticed that I totally said I’d let a dude blow me…
“For real? Wow. Blows my mind. How do you pick them, like what do you do?” He’s definitely interested in the concept, which is good…”Like, but that dude would be a fag, no?”
“Well, Ted, yeah, there are all sorts of guys that seem open to having some fun on the side. There are freaks and geeks of course, but I lucked out and I’ve one or two, shall we say “buddies” – who love to suck my cock and are very agreeable to my, hmmm…erratic availability.” Ted is looking thoughtful, like he is mulling over the idea, the concept…
“Like, no strings? Like a blow and go hooker but it’s a guy? And you don’t pay?” I shake my head. “Neither one of my buddies are paid. It’s always on my schedule. Risk free – and always satisfying. I always feel like I’m in control --- which is not something with the wife and kids and work that happens very often…and I learn new shit, which rocks!”
“No shit. Sounds like heaven here in the ‘burbs – you HAVE to give me his number. He’s local? I can run right over. You are a lifesaver! Literally, man, thanks!”
Okay, so like I thought I handled that well. But somehow I’m passing My Hottie with the hot cock and hot balls full of cum to my totally gay totally getting laid whenever they want buddies…How did I do so well and fuck this up…
“Easy, tiger! Reign it in man…it’s not like you can head over, drop trou and get a sloppy one…I am merely making suggestions on how you need to set this situation up for future remediation. Brad will absolutely help you out – he’s awesome, lives in town and has his own place – and gives great head – but he’s out of town, in Cali at the moment” –
Ted looks crestfallen. Like the proverbial baby with the stolen candy. Like he could cry. “You said buddies. So that means, what two…tell me, I am begging you, to tell me you have another buddy. Here. Now. And available to blow me? Please, I am begging?” His eyes are intense. Earnest. Damn, this boy needs it. His muscles are taught, strained. His cock hanging, protruding, looking like it KNOWS it’s the center of conversation…
“Yeah, ah, sure – JT is around…his skills are off the chart hot…but he’s not such an easy set up as Brad…”
“Whatever it takes man, let’s set this up and make it happen”
Fuck. Of course sex deprived big dick hottie needs to have it now. I want to die of embarrassment. I’ve gone way father then I ever have with another dude in terms of sex talk. Frank. Open. Cool about it. FUCK, what do I do…
“See, ah, Ted, kind of embarrassing, but like, JT is very cool and gives mind-blowing head—but he insists on like, 100% reciprocation…”
Blank stare from Ted…”See, Ted, like, he blew me once and it rocked, so like we hooked up again and it was awesome and he was fine with me giving him a hand job and he shot loads, and I was cool with it, a little freaked out touching another dudes dick, but all in all it was okay and it was fine, I mean, I have one too and I touch mine all the time, so it’s no big deal and not gay or anything, just two guys helping each other out when their ladies are otherwise occupied…” Shit. Just shut up. He is looking at you like, scornful. I just came out, totally, to my neighbor. May as well put a fucking tutu on and dance in ballet shoes…
“Okay, so, like glad that works for you man…but I’m not touching another guys dick. No way, no how. I’ll take cummers remorse and my chances at yanking the pud again tonight before I’d do any shit like that – but totally cool for you to be into that. I’m an open guy, that’s fine. No big deal…But wait, do you blow him, too? You said 100% reciprocal, and that he gives great head and….dude, you into cock or what?”
Fuck. I am an inch tall. I wish I’d melt into the grass…dry and shrivel up. I just came out to my neighbor and I’d be fine with that if his cock was now in my mouth/hand/ass/slapping my body…but it wasn’t.
“Um. It was really no big deal. I didn’t know. I mean. He blew me like before and it was fine and good and then well, like, he sort of expected the same. Perfectly reasonable if you think about it, which I did not, obviously at the time, think about it that is….Yeah. Like, well, it was no big deal. I just forced myself to like lick it and then like, taste it, and it was weird but okay at the same time. And like he put it in my mouth and I kind of rocked up and down, was like bobbing up and down and jeez, I was proud that I was working my way outta this shit situation.”
“So you let him gizz in you? Wasn’t that gross? Didn’t you throw up? I’d have decked the dude, blow job or not for sticking his cock in my mouth.”
“Well, no, not really. Not then at least. Gizz that is. Fuck this is embarrassing, can we change the subject, please?”
“No fucking way man, I am hearing this, fess up to your pussy boy actions here man, I want to know how, exactly, this ends”.
Groan. This ALWAYS happens and NEVER ends well…Fuck. And he is SO hot, too. I been having precum spurting out of my penis…Fuck.
“So like, well – he grabbed me by the ears and pushed me off his cock. I had no idea why, I was actually pretty pumped that I’d been able to take him. I mean, I NEVER ever wanted to blow a guy, but shit, it actually wasn’t that bad. Okay, turns out, I really sucked at giving head. TJ was like ‘that was the worst fucking head ever. Like rubbing my dick over a cheese grater would have been more fun’ – and he was, justifiably if your think about it, pissed off. Here he was giving me an exceptional BJ to me, and I was a fucking cheese grater. I was so embarrassed.”
“Yeah, and, so, WHAT HAPPENS dumbass! Did you blow him again and did he gizz in your mouth or what?” Ted is clearly vested in the story of my experience. Do I see his cock twitching? Holy hell…in for a penny, in for a pound.
“Well, so, TJ really was a cool dude and besides the great head he gives, he was a buddy – a true friend, and I knew we needed to work this thing out ….so he, God this is awkward… he talked me through it…” Blank stare. “He told me how to work my tongue, stroke with my hands – he is a big boy – and open my throat to him. I couldn’t do it at first, but he made me practice and then.”
“Wait – he made you blow him and you went back and blew him AGAIN?!?!? What are you fucking stupid? I know you are not an all fag kind of guy – I’ve seen your kids, but you went back and let him put his dick in your mouth AGAIN while he told you how to do it???”
“Ah, yeah, sort of. I mean, you make it sound not so good, but he taught me how to pleasure him the best and how to get the biggest load out of his balls by working his taint….”
“STOP! Not another word.” I couldn’t read his (fucking ugly) face. It was blank, except for the hints of revulsion. Pathetic disbelief, too. Like I was a stinking piece of dog shit stuck to his shoe. His scowl and looks – well, let’s just say it was bad…
“Ted, get the fuck in here. My mother is 2 minutes away and we only have an hour to get to the mall – Hi, Ethan, nice to see you. C’mon, Ted, NOW!” As the window above our heads was banged closed.
Silence. Looking back, he was clearly deciding his next action…but there, in front of an uber man, so masculine, so GUY -- pissed that his neighbor was a fag and clearly frustrated that this fairy had got him MORE riled up…it didn’t seem like the best day ever…
“I will text you in 5 minutes. We are NOT done with this. Come through the garage door when I give you the all clear.”
Fuck. I guess the beating was to continue….as he turned and walked his spectacularly round and firm all man ass into his house…
If I had only said that instead…
Oh man, why didn’t I think of that? Stupid!
Yep – I’m the king of the ‘coulda-shoulda-woulda’ said. My life would be 100% different if I had only said – even half of the time, hell, a quarter of the time, what in hindsight would have been a better answer. I am talking in any situation. Every time. I always mess it up. How you say? Want an example?
Easy. 6th grade with hottie Debbie with the budding tits. “What to come over and listen to music”. She was OUT OF MY LEAGUE. “Gee, sorry, can’t. My Mom needs me home to wash the dog”. Seriously. I said that. She just stared at me in incomprehension. She was offering me an invite to 6th grade taboo land – and I was too dumb to notice it.
Same again in 9th, 10th, hell every year. A buddy would be talking about some porn he had and wanted to know if I’d want to check it out with him…easily could have been a rub and tug and who knows what else. But nope, not me…”Sorry, can’t my mom won’t like it.” Again to an incredulous stare. Clearly, now I can see, he was like “who the fuck tells their mom” but he obviously thought I was way too much of a dumb fuck to even bother to explain the basic rules of teenage life…
And that’s been my life – the many missed sex ops come to mind, because who cares about the 2000 stupid responses to a better job, a better wife, a better frat, a better college….the list goes on. But somehow, somehow, it finally sunk into my brain maybe thinking BEFORE I said anything, and – you know, assessing a situation, maybe would allow me to up my chances of saying something less dumb. Which was encouraging to no end – got my fist blow job in a sauna at the gym as I watched one guy blow his load into another guys mouth as he was stroking his cock. I was staring and drooling, my mouth stupidly open…until the blower, his current buddy’s load blown, wanted to know if he could “help me out”. So I nodded and proceeded to have the most shocking orgasm of my life – shocking in that I saw my gism on his tongue but I was so keyed up I didn’t even feel the release. He was a GUY blowing me. Here, at the gym…
So my sheltered and pathetic teens rolled into a little more daring 20s, then my slightly emboldened early 30s, then to an experienced later 30s…but almost regressing in my verbal dumb ass – worried about saying the wrong thing and what people would think, etc. Pathetic and I knew it.
Which brings me to that fateful time and to finally saying, 100%, the right. I think. Maybe. Eventually. Thing. Best and most awesome thing that got me fabulously laid on a recurring basis – and with no collateral damage. PERFECT.
Spring, early last year. I was buzzing home, tunes on, shades on, mildly horny, but nothing out of control, just good. There is this dude – hot, trim, pumping hard as he runs up our steep hill. “Damn, who’s the hard body” as I pass by. It’s my street, so I’m not staring and getting jonesed…but I noted a definite hottie I’d like to see again – I was driving too quickly to check for any cock action (my favorite visual pastime) but the tight body was enough of a cheap thrill…Sigh, as the day and week went by.
I did stop in my driveway and the dude didn’t run by, so he was close – was he the neighbor? Ted or something. He’d texted about some work he was doing, and he and the wife ( I think) had honked and waved as I was out on walks or driving, but I didn’t know him from a hole in the wall. Hell, he’s the newbie, let him suck up to me…
Until Saturday. Out for a walk as it was a mild day for mid-March. Fuck. Same white nylon shorts and shirt as last week, so same hard body dude who riled me up last week…with a very obvious, you couldn’t miss it -- it would be rude to not acknowledge it….this large, puffy, cut, there, long, shlongy cock. In his shorts. Right there, swinging as he (Ted) walks up to me. I’m the literal deer in the head lights. My eyes are stuck on that magnificent cock. Eyes up dude. Fuck. Geez, Ted was kind of an ugly dude. I don’t mean ugly, just not my preferred hottie/pretty boy. He was just a dude. Working out, IN obscene shorts. He looked like a rough and tumble hockey player. A dude. A man. Totally not into making himself look good. But the hotness just oozed from him. But he was kind of butt faced ugly.
“Hey man, how’s it going” as he steps, cock swinging, down his small hill of a front yard. “Just awesome man, how are you? Pumping out some hard miles, I see – good for you” and he smiles, breathing a bit labored from his run. “Had to – if you know what I mean.” And he bends over, hands on his knees.
“You training or something? You look in great shape.” Ha, was his response – “I wish! No man, TMI but this energy is all, 100% unspent sexual tension.” Which does, as it would, leave me speechless. What do you say to that? What does an all straight man say? Let alone one with a healthy (and diverse) sexual appetite and morals more geared to openness? Or perhaps an ally cat, as the expression goes…Everyone should have a good time, after all…as I ponder an appropriate response, I see his wife go by in the house…so she’s not away/dead/ill….
“Dude, your wife is right there – go in and make her happy, it’s what we have them for in the first place!” There. I think that’s the right amount of cool and bravado…guy to guy. Go poke your wife. Gizz in her and your problem is solved…
“Ha, no joy there my friend! It’s PAINFUL. She’s totally on the rag and has been off limits for DAYS and it’s killing me” He’s still bent over and breathing, so I can’t see his face – maybe that’s what led me to be uncharacteristically bold – or maybe I just got stupid lucky. I’m thinking of awesome, daring responses “Let me take care of that for you, big boy” and “Please, fuck me right now, I need it bad” and even worse “Well, I am sure a cold shower would solve that”…none of which seemed suitable to the occasion, and, fortunately, I was saved from the inevitable embarrassment, by his further comment – “MY balls are so fucking blue I’m in pain. That run – I left my fucking jock at the gym in the city, stirred everything up and it’s like a corked bottle of fucking champagne – ready to blow”.. as he stands and his (semi?) is available for all and sundry to see…
“Ahhh” ...wimper…sniff…panic…”That’s awful man – I feel for you…been there, done that and it SUCKS…Hang in there, man, shouldn’t be too much longer, surely, no??” As he, hands on hips, cock protruding in its lazy idleness… begging me, so I am convinced, to make friends with it…
“No fucking way man, and that’s the fucking rub – she goes on the rag and it’s, like, 10 days of sheer hell. Moodiness, aches, pains, bitchy and she so does NOT want to hear about ‘my little problem’ ". Our eyes lock – go for it dude, man up…”So, dude – use your last report and take matters into your own hands…that should make you feel better, no?” God, I can’t believe I just (BOLDLY!) told my neighbor to jerk himself off! He’ll think I’m a freak and he’ll fucking never talk to me again and I’ll never see that awesome cock again – let alone up close!. My face is red and I’m dying a slow death here.
“Yeah, pathetically, that doesn’t work for me – I know, it’s sad, but like I can blow a load (of course!) but I get like total cummers-remorse, feel like shit, and them am back to being fucking super horned an hour later. It’s NEVER worked for me. I was always so jealous of buds who’d talk about rubbing one out and being good for a week. Never. I need skin on skin and sex to have any relief or it’s a total bummer.” He seems so real and so sad about the situation. Heck, I can see how that’d be awful. Every guy I knew – whether they’d admit it or not, loved tugging their chain…it’s what guys do, no? Wow – that’s a problem.
“Uhm, so like – don’t you have, like, a friend who can like help you out? Like, a little?” Which got me a nasty look. “I’m not risking my marriage to fuck some bimbo so I can get off…Not going to happen.” Ah. Yes, straight boy response. Should have seen that coming.
“No, like I mean, a gym buddy, a nice dude who’d blow you gratis in the sauna? Like, towel off, the guy likes cock, you let ‘em feast on yours, then go on your way…”
“Is that a thing? Do guys do that? No guys I’ve ever known have ever or would ever do that. I’m not getting on that app, what is it, Grinder?” Which leads me to believe, who the hell is he hanging out with? This is cool dude, formerly from Brooklynn, which was, IMO, anything goes, central…
“Um, like yeah. It happens all the time. Like every time I hit the steam room, there are always some dudes who look like they’ve either been going at it or are getting ready to…It’s what a “fuck buddy” or something? You know, ‘helping another bro out” – that sort of thing.”
“Really – like here? There are guys that’ll blow you in the gym? I could see in the city, but here?”
“Absolutely my friend! I do not tell tales, but it’s possible that maybe I’ve received some attention – but of course, only when it was absolutely necessary. I’m in a 100% committed relationship, and I love my wife, but every now and then a “buddy” can come in handy – so to speak.” I am so cool. So suave. He never even noticed that I totally said I’d let a dude blow me…
“For real? Wow. Blows my mind. How do you pick them, like what do you do?” He’s definitely interested in the concept, which is good…”Like, but that dude would be a fag, no?”
“Well, Ted, yeah, there are all sorts of guys that seem open to having some fun on the side. There are freaks and geeks of course, but I lucked out and I’ve one or two, shall we say “buddies” – who love to suck my cock and are very agreeable to my, hmmm…erratic availability.” Ted is looking thoughtful, like he is mulling over the idea, the concept…
“Like, no strings? Like a blow and go hooker but it’s a guy? And you don’t pay?” I shake my head. “Neither one of my buddies are paid. It’s always on my schedule. Risk free – and always satisfying. I always feel like I’m in control --- which is not something with the wife and kids and work that happens very often…and I learn new shit, which rocks!”
“No shit. Sounds like heaven here in the ‘burbs – you HAVE to give me his number. He’s local? I can run right over. You are a lifesaver! Literally, man, thanks!”
Okay, so like I thought I handled that well. But somehow I’m passing My Hottie with the hot cock and hot balls full of cum to my totally gay totally getting laid whenever they want buddies…How did I do so well and fuck this up…
“Easy, tiger! Reign it in man…it’s not like you can head over, drop trou and get a sloppy one…I am merely making suggestions on how you need to set this situation up for future remediation. Brad will absolutely help you out – he’s awesome, lives in town and has his own place – and gives great head – but he’s out of town, in Cali at the moment” –
Ted looks crestfallen. Like the proverbial baby with the stolen candy. Like he could cry. “You said buddies. So that means, what two…tell me, I am begging you, to tell me you have another buddy. Here. Now. And available to blow me? Please, I am begging?” His eyes are intense. Earnest. Damn, this boy needs it. His muscles are taught, strained. His cock hanging, protruding, looking like it KNOWS it’s the center of conversation…
“Yeah, ah, sure – JT is around…his skills are off the chart hot…but he’s not such an easy set up as Brad…”
“Whatever it takes man, let’s set this up and make it happen”
Fuck. Of course sex deprived big dick hottie needs to have it now. I want to die of embarrassment. I’ve gone way father then I ever have with another dude in terms of sex talk. Frank. Open. Cool about it. FUCK, what do I do…
“See, ah, Ted, kind of embarrassing, but like, JT is very cool and gives mind-blowing head—but he insists on like, 100% reciprocation…”
Blank stare from Ted…”See, Ted, like, he blew me once and it rocked, so like we hooked up again and it was awesome and he was fine with me giving him a hand job and he shot loads, and I was cool with it, a little freaked out touching another dudes dick, but all in all it was okay and it was fine, I mean, I have one too and I touch mine all the time, so it’s no big deal and not gay or anything, just two guys helping each other out when their ladies are otherwise occupied…” Shit. Just shut up. He is looking at you like, scornful. I just came out, totally, to my neighbor. May as well put a fucking tutu on and dance in ballet shoes…
“Okay, so, like glad that works for you man…but I’m not touching another guys dick. No way, no how. I’ll take cummers remorse and my chances at yanking the pud again tonight before I’d do any shit like that – but totally cool for you to be into that. I’m an open guy, that’s fine. No big deal…But wait, do you blow him, too? You said 100% reciprocal, and that he gives great head and….dude, you into cock or what?”
Fuck. I am an inch tall. I wish I’d melt into the grass…dry and shrivel up. I just came out to my neighbor and I’d be fine with that if his cock was now in my mouth/hand/ass/slapping my body…but it wasn’t.
“Um. It was really no big deal. I didn’t know. I mean. He blew me like before and it was fine and good and then well, like, he sort of expected the same. Perfectly reasonable if you think about it, which I did not, obviously at the time, think about it that is….Yeah. Like, well, it was no big deal. I just forced myself to like lick it and then like, taste it, and it was weird but okay at the same time. And like he put it in my mouth and I kind of rocked up and down, was like bobbing up and down and jeez, I was proud that I was working my way outta this shit situation.”
“So you let him gizz in you? Wasn’t that gross? Didn’t you throw up? I’d have decked the dude, blow job or not for sticking his cock in my mouth.”
“Well, no, not really. Not then at least. Gizz that is. Fuck this is embarrassing, can we change the subject, please?”
“No fucking way man, I am hearing this, fess up to your pussy boy actions here man, I want to know how, exactly, this ends”.
Groan. This ALWAYS happens and NEVER ends well…Fuck. And he is SO hot, too. I been having precum spurting out of my penis…Fuck.
“So like, well – he grabbed me by the ears and pushed me off his cock. I had no idea why, I was actually pretty pumped that I’d been able to take him. I mean, I NEVER ever wanted to blow a guy, but shit, it actually wasn’t that bad. Okay, turns out, I really sucked at giving head. TJ was like ‘that was the worst fucking head ever. Like rubbing my dick over a cheese grater would have been more fun’ – and he was, justifiably if your think about it, pissed off. Here he was giving me an exceptional BJ to me, and I was a fucking cheese grater. I was so embarrassed.”
“Yeah, and, so, WHAT HAPPENS dumbass! Did you blow him again and did he gizz in your mouth or what?” Ted is clearly vested in the story of my experience. Do I see his cock twitching? Holy hell…in for a penny, in for a pound.
“Well, so, TJ really was a cool dude and besides the great head he gives, he was a buddy – a true friend, and I knew we needed to work this thing out ….so he, God this is awkward… he talked me through it…” Blank stare. “He told me how to work my tongue, stroke with my hands – he is a big boy – and open my throat to him. I couldn’t do it at first, but he made me practice and then.”
“Wait – he made you blow him and you went back and blew him AGAIN?!?!? What are you fucking stupid? I know you are not an all fag kind of guy – I’ve seen your kids, but you went back and let him put his dick in your mouth AGAIN while he told you how to do it???”
“Ah, yeah, sort of. I mean, you make it sound not so good, but he taught me how to pleasure him the best and how to get the biggest load out of his balls by working his taint….”
“STOP! Not another word.” I couldn’t read his (fucking ugly) face. It was blank, except for the hints of revulsion. Pathetic disbelief, too. Like I was a stinking piece of dog shit stuck to his shoe. His scowl and looks – well, let’s just say it was bad…
“Ted, get the fuck in here. My mother is 2 minutes away and we only have an hour to get to the mall – Hi, Ethan, nice to see you. C’mon, Ted, NOW!” As the window above our heads was banged closed.
Silence. Looking back, he was clearly deciding his next action…but there, in front of an uber man, so masculine, so GUY -- pissed that his neighbor was a fag and clearly frustrated that this fairy had got him MORE riled up…it didn’t seem like the best day ever…
“I will text you in 5 minutes. We are NOT done with this. Come through the garage door when I give you the all clear.”
Fuck. I guess the beating was to continue….as he turned and walked his spectacularly round and firm all man ass into his house…
