If Your Partner Wanted Penis Enlargement Surgery...

[fournineteenfiftynine]

How would you feel?

 

[Holly Doors]

I'd think he's gone crazy cause he's very much blessed to start with, I've always felt surgery for anything other than necessary medical reasons is often a bad idea anyway.

 

[LaFemme]

I’m afraid that would be a deal breaker for me. Unless he was dealing with a micro penis. But even then...it’s just not something I’d be ok with.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’d state my opinion that just for size is an undue risk. And a source of potential discomfort for me.
I would stress his need for therapy about body dysmorphia.
(I’d say the same on a woman partner wanting breast implants “just because.”)

I would understand for Peyronie’s disease, a pump after an injury, and maybe a pump for aging issues. Mental health, not self hacking.

Ultimately, it’s his body, his choice.
However, it’s a body part he wants me to admire and interact with.

 

[Mittimer]

I’d state my opinion that just for size is an undue risk. And a source of potential discomfort for me.
I would stress his need for therapy about body dysmorphia.
(I’d say the same on a woman partner wanting breast implants “just because.”)

I would understand for Peyronie’s disease, a pump after an injury, and maybe a pump for aging issues. Mental health, not self hacking.

Ultimately, it’s his body, his choice.
However, it’s a body part he wants me to admire and interact with.

This. Everything she has said.

Add to that that most "enlargement surgeries" are nonsense at best and may add a menial amount depending on the type of surgery, or even worse, it'll just fuck up your erection and make your dick look like a bulky oddly shaped log between your legs. Cutting the nerve at the top to "release" more length is a huge risk for minimal reward. The silicone duck bill implants will literally just force your dick wider and longer while also causing potential discomfort to you and your partners.

I would not want any of this for my parter. If someone I with is that unhappy about what they have between their legs and they won't get therapy for it rather than going straight to surgery, I would very likely walk away.

Couple this with the fact that I have a relatively shallow vagina. I actually LIKE average size men. They fit me and do not hurt me like the hung men do. If an average partner went through the trouble to get enlargement, then they would ultimately be causing me pain and I wouldn't be down for that.

Meh.

 

[fournineteenfiftynine]

Thank you for all your thoughtful contributions. I think it is helpful to hear your perspectives.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Every dude who asks a size question should have to handwrite the following on a chalk board 100 times:
I actually LIKE average size men. They fit me and do not hurt me like the hung men do.


Thanks, @Mittimer

 

[fournineteenfiftynine]

Every dude who asks a size question should have to handwrite the following on a chalk board 100 times:
I actually LIKE average size men. They fit me and do not hurt me like the hung men do.


Thanks, @Mittimer

Your comment is not relevant to this question.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Your comment is not relevant to this question.

You think the response of a woman is irreverent to a discussion of her partner getting enlargement surgery?
Or do you not like it, the reminder that size is a man’s issue 99 percent of the time?

and did you not notice that it is a shared opinion?

it is absolutely relevant to a couple discussing him mutilating himself and expecting to ever have penetrative sex with his partner.

Now, depending on the partnership, and since you asked in Ask a Woman, I’m assuming that the partnership is a man and a woman, the power dynamics could be in play.
Does the person who’s body isn’t getting changed surgically have a vote, or a veto?

A definitive CNC, Master/slave relationship might not allow much weight to the slave/woman‘s view, but those women still can divorce. Because all the kink stuff doesn’t stand in courts of law. If that master chooses to enhance himself, with anything from sub cutaneous balls to extension surgeries, the slave will be impacted, either as the relationship goes forward, or as she rebuilds a life post relationship.
On a less extreme level, a woman in an equal relationship should speak her mind. Her concerns about the safety of the surgery, about possible permanent injury, caretaking post surgery, what sex will be like for them. She absolutely should press for him to have psychotherapy prior, just like people with other body dysmorphias must.

changing his penis isn’t the concern at first. It’s the idea that he thinks it’s so important for length and or girth. And as @Mittimer said, negligible visually, but a big deal for the penetrated partner.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

My guy wouldn't be able to give me comfortable sex if he was any bigger and we both are aware of this so in my current relationship (which is definitely going to be the last of my lifetime) this doesn't get discussed. He could be significantly smaller than he is and still blow my mind with what he does to my body.

My ex did have issues with his size because of bullshit racist expectations. He would hint at the idea of taking measures to become larger, and refused to HEAR me when I told him that I actually don't require a big dick to thoroughly enjoy sex. I don't even require penetration. But... He was stuck in his own head and totally bought into what society told him he was supposed to be between his legs.

I fully support personal choice, but that means I also get to make my own choice as to whether or not I want to be with someone who couldn't accept my truth about not needing/wanting him to be bigger.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

My guy wouldn't be able to give me comfortable sex if he was any bigger and we both are aware of this so in my current relationship (which is definitely going to be the last of my lifetime) this doesn't get discussed. He could be significantly smaller than he is and still blow my mind with what he does to my body.

My ex did have issues with his size because of bullshit racist expectations. He would hint at the idea of taking measures to become larger, and refused to HEAR me when I told him that I actually don't require a big dick to thoroughly enjoy sex. I don't even require penetration. But... He was stuck in his own head and totally bought into what society told him he was supposed to be between his legs.

I fully support personal choice, but that means I also get to make my own choice as to whether or not I want to be with someone who couldn't accept my truth about not needing/wanting him to be bigger.

man, the whole b b c thing needs to die.
As long as a peen brings joy to both partners whodafuck cares?

 

[fournineteenfiftynine]

You think the response of a woman is irreverent to a discussion of her partner getting enlargement surgery?
Or do you not like it, the reminder that size is a man’s issue 99 percent of the time?

and did you not notice that it is a shared opinion?

it is absolutely relevant to a couple discussing him mutilating himself and expecting to ever have penetrative sex with his partner.

Now, depending on the partnership, and since you asked in Ask a Woman, I’m assuming that the partnership is a man and a woman, the power dynamics could be in play.
Does the person who’s body isn’t getting changed surgically have a vote, or a veto?

A definitive CNC, Master/slave relationship might not allow much weight to the slave/woman‘s view, but those women still can divorce. Because all the kink stuff doesn’t stand in courts of law. If that master chooses to enhance himself, with anything from sub cutaneous balls to extension surgeries, the slave will be impacted, either as the relationship goes forward, or as she rebuilds a life post relationship.
On a less extreme level, a woman in an equal relationship should speak her mind. Her concerns about the safety of the surgery, about possible permanent injury, caretaking post surgery, what sex will be like for them. She absolutely should press for him to have psychotherapy prior, just like people with other body dysmorphias must.

changing his penis isn’t the concern at first. It’s the idea that he thinks it’s so important for length and or girth. And as @Mittimer said, negligible visually, but a big deal for the penetrated partner.

Your elaboration makes sense and addresses the question that was asked. Your first response didn't make sense to me as the OP who was just wondering what people think of the question. I had no other agenda than curiousity.

 

[fournineteenfiftynine]

Oh and I asked a similar question to gay men in that thread. I wondered how they would respond as well.

 

[MickeyLee]

Nope. Unless the procedure was corrective.

I am a fan of body modification, but have my limits. Plastic surgery is my limit.

So much cosmetic work is done to fit an artificial, and eurocentric, idea of beauty. To slice off parts of your body or jam silicone implants in, with all the complications of surgery for an unnecessary procedure? To me personally, that drips of some deeply internalized issues.

Another point that gives me pause is the addictive nature of cosmetic surgery. One tweak can lead to uncanny valley faces/bodies, like, Cronanberg body horror levels of wrong.

Maybe that's why it sticks in my craw. All the ink, all the piercing, all the stretching I am down with. Even elf ears and fangs don't sketch me. I know a person wasn't born with ink or mods. But cosmetic surgery feels like lying to me. That is not a true face. That is not how genes made someone.

Cosmetic surgery = purely elective and appearance driven procedures. Reductions, reconstructions, corrections or functionality based operations don't trigger the same flinch.

Also. Fully recognize my twitch being part of my unique mix of fucked up.

 

[Mittimer]

Nope. Unless the procedure was corrective.

I am a fan of body modification, but have my limits. Plastic surgery is my limit.

So much cosmetic work is done to fit an artificial, and eurocentric, idea of beauty. To slice off parts of your body or jam silicone implants in, with all the complications of surgery for an unnecessary procedure? To me personally, that drips of some deeply internalized issues.

Another point that gives me pause is the addictive nature of cosmetic surgery. One tweak can lead to uncanny valley faces/bodies, like, Cronanberg body horror levels of wrong.

Maybe that's why it sticks in my craw. All the ink, all the piercing, all the stretching I am down with. Even elf ears and fangs don't sketch me. I know a person wasn't born with ink or mods. But cosmetic surgery feels like lying to me. That is not a true face. That is not how genes made someone.

Cosmetic surgery = purely elective and appearance driven procedures. Reductions, reconstructions, corrections or functionality based operations don't trigger the same flinch.

Also. Fully recognize my twitch being part of my unique mix of fucked up.

I think I'm nearly in the same boat as you. Elective things like implants, bone shaves, raising the hair line etc etc, it all kinda gives me the squirmies. People look less like people and more confused humanoid style creatures. Or caricatures of themselves, and that's so much worse. Beautiful souls don't need to edit their bodies in such crazy drastic ways.

I love tattoos though, piercings, gauges, subdermal implants, scars etc. All that unique modifications bring life to people. Make them unique to me. Tells a story to me. Gives me something to talk about, to ask about, to muse over. To touch, kiss, trail my fingers over. That type of modification is less drastic to me than plastic augmentation because one feels they aren't enough.

 

[MickeyLee]

Oh. And to clarify to nobody in particular...

Procedures related to Gender Confirmation/Expression are therapeutic. Quite vital and often life saving.

I realize there might be some procedural overlap. I also recognize the differences without question.

No squick there.

 

[Mittimer]

Oh. And to clarify to nobody in particular...

Procedures related to Gender Confirmation/Expression are therapeutic. Quite vital and often life saving.

I realize there might be some procedural overlap. I also recognize the differences without question.

No squick there.

Absofuckinglutely

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Your elaboration makes sense and addresses the question that was asked. Your first response didn't make sense to me as the OP who was just wondering what people think of the question. I had no other agenda than curiousity.

If you’d read carefully, you would have noticed it was a response to Mittimer.
I’m sorry you aren’t able to curate who answers and how, but especially in this section conversations take flight.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Oh. And to clarify to nobody in particular...

Procedures related to Gender Confirmation/Expression are therapeutic. Quite vital and often life saving.

I realize there might be some procedural overlap. I also recognize the differences without question.

No squick there.

yes. There’s a difference in adding less than an inch to your original issue equipment and building a peen from a vagina.
And there’s a similarity in the dysmorphia, therefore my championing of therapy before either gender corrective or simply cosmetic work.
Different levels, for sure.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I think I like the phrase gender alignment surgery. Nothing was existentially wrong with how the person had been. We are at root, human flawed perfection as we are. If the a shirt isn’t fitting, you’d tailor it. that’s how I see the surgeries. The folx have been living in their true identity, and the surgeries can make it all “fit.”

I also think non op, delayed op..whatever is “right “ for the person making that choice. I know folx who aren’t yet ready to get a peen constructed. They are waiting for some advances in nerve surgery. understandable.