A few months ago I moved to a diverse city with a big fitness culture. There are a lot of DL guys hooking up with each other and gay guys and it's pretty accepted. Where I'm from most DL guys are pretty secretive about it and most gay guys aren't into them. Here it's kinda the opposite. The dl dudes are mostly just concerned that girls don't know and the gay guys are cool with it. Seems like lots of straight/bi are messing around with guys while single and a good chuck while in relationships as well. Is this getting to be more normal and accepted?
I live in a big city and that sounds very similar to what’s going on here. I don’t think that it’s new though. I think the further you look into it, the more Obvious it becomes. It’s been happening forever. Being bi is something I’m just coming to terms with but it would be much easier to just get cock on the side.
More normal or accepted for in the closet Bi guys like myself to do stuff on the downlow... I'd say no. It's the same as it's always been.
Big cities are like that yes. Smaller cities and towns nope, still the same as it's been.
Big cities you can "fade into the crowd" and vanish 1000x easier, and the "pool" for hooking up is 1000x larger. Big cities you can fuck or suck off a dude and then never see them again if you don't want to and have little to no risk of ever seeing them again if you're hooking up in the areas you don't live in, work in, hangout in, etc. And never gave any true identifiers due to the nature of how being on the downlow works.
Small towns, you can already tell where this is going. Unless you're willing to travel for cock, you're risking quite a lot hooking up in your own area if you're sucking the hairy dong on the downlow and trying to not have the local girls, your girlfriend, or wife potentially find out. Unless you and the dude you're hookin' up with are both very strict and extremely trustworthy, have an amazing set of multiple alibis set up, and both don't have those loose lips or are drunken blabber mouths, it's always a risk and there's no way around that.
You either travel for dick or accept the risk that your small town community is gonna potentially find out and slash your life or dating pool in half or by 90% as far as the straight girls go.
Girls, no one really cares if they're bi except the straight girls. Just how it is. And obviously they're not hooking up with straight girls so it doesn't matter.
But if you're a downlow guy and your small city / small town finds out, as of that moment you've literally just been black listed to only be able to date the sexually open minded. And all us small town / small city guys know people like that in a small town are few and far between.
Are there more than we may think who are open minded? Perhaps.
Are there more than we may think, who openly admit they're open minded and wouldn't keep that mentality to themselves if it ever cameto defending your reputation? Ya right, nope.
Big cities yes, small towns and small cities, nope. The downlow game will forever be a minefield in the non-sexually open minded zones of the world.
Big cities are like that yes. Smaller cities and towns nope, still the same as it's been.
Big cities you can "fade into the crowd" and vanish 1000x easier, and the "pool" for hooking up is 1000x larger. Big cities you can fuck or suck off a dude and then never see them again if you don't want to and have little to no risk of ever seeing them again if you're hooking up in the areas you don't live in, work in, hangout in, etc. And never gave any true identifiers due to the nature of how being on the downlow works.
Small towns, you can already tell where this is going. Unless you're willing to travel for cock, you're risking quite a lot hooking up in your own area if you're sucking the hairy dong on the downlow and trying to not have the local girls, your girlfriend, or wife potentially find out. Unless you and the dude you're hookin' up with are both very strict and extremely trustworthy, have an amazing set of multiple alibis set up, and both don't have those loose lips or are drunken blabber mouths, it's always a risk and there's no way around that.
You either travel for dick or accept the risk that your small town community is gonna potentially find out and slash your life or dating pool in half or by 90% as far as the straight girls go.
Girls, no one really cares if they're bi except the straight girls. Just how it is. And obviously they're not hooking up with straight girls so it doesn't matter.
But if you're a downlow guy and your small city / small town finds out, as of that moment you've literally just been black listed to only be able to date the sexually open minded. And all us small town / small city guys know people like that in a small town are few and far between.
Are there more than we may think who are open minded? Perhaps.
Are there more than we may think, who openly admit they're open minded and wouldn't keep that mentality to themselves if it ever cameto defending your reputation? Ya right, nope.
Big cities yes, small towns and small cities, nope. The downlow game will forever be a minefield in the non-sexually open minded zones of the world.
Im so out of the loop these days on what is goin on out there. All I know is that it's just too stressful being on the DL. I'd rather just include my Wife in anything we do sexually with men.
I don't know if its more accepted I think people always assume a Bi man is just gay. I consider myself 70% straight 30 % gay. The other day I was walking into a building behind a woman and I was staring at her ass and in an instant I went to staring at this guy's ass who was waiting for an elevator. I suddenly realized how cool it was to be open to the option.
halcyondays
Worshipped Member
DL or not what has changed over time is that more bi men are sexually active. IMO the largest participation increases happened in the mid-late 90s with the introduction of social media on the internet and again a decade later with the advent of smart phones. 
- bi2,
DL or not what has changed over time is that more bi men are sexually active. IMO the largest participation increases happened in the mid-late 90s with the introduction of social media on the internet and again a decade later with the advent of smart phones.
I dont know what it was like before in the 90s, but I will say with smartphones there are so many apps which you can communicate privately without "anyone" knowing at all.
When I was younger it was easy to communicate without the fear of my partner getting caught. In any case I always deleted his messages to protect him, even though we could arrange hookups any time via third party apps. It definitely would have made things harder without smart phones for him to want to see me.
- Joined
- May 26, 2011
- Posts
- 3,117
- Media
- 0
- Likes
- 4,361
- Points
- 618
- Location
- Birmingham, AL, USA
- Verification
- View
- Sexuality
- No Response
- Gender
- Male
I think you hit it on the head there BudDL or not what has changed over time is that more bi men are sexually active. IMO the largest participation increases happened in the mid-late 90s with the introduction of social media on the internet and again a decade later with the advent of smart phones.
DL or not what has changed over time is that more bi men are sexually active. IMO the largest participation increases happened in the mid-late 90s with the introduction of social media on the internet and again a decade later with the advent of smart phones.
Makes sense to me. Without texting etc I'd probably never end up doing anything...
For me, I think it's also the location. I've talked to a few of the guys I've met here about it and its apparently not considered that big of a deal if the dl guy only tops.
MilfBanger78
Superior Member
Agree with it just being much easier to hookup now with internet and apps.
As for guys in relationships with women playing on the DL, its just a lot easier to play with a guy. They dont get attached as easily
As for guys in relationships with women playing on the DL, its just a lot easier to play with a guy. They dont get attached as easily
- bi2,
Definitely makes the sex uncomplicated and neither one of us has any emotional entanglements. I think for this reason, our hookups are regular with neither person feeling used, we are both there in the moment to enjoy the carnal pleasure and then move on till our next fuck.
Similar threads
