Is It Hypocrite When Unattractive Gay Men Just Want To Date Attractive Men?

[JayPR]

Let me explain. I've met a lot of gay men (especially those considered "below average" in the look department) who complain about how other gay men are so shallow when looking for a romantic partner because they focus on physical appearance and don't pay attention to good men who are beautiful on the inside.

Aren't the same men hypocrites when they, themselves, have high expectations on the outside beauty and are also looking for Mr. Hot Guy?

 

[Brodie888]

From my experience, this phenomenon isn't a gay thing, it's a man thing. Not all men, but a significant number.

I'm sure it must be an instinctive thing where men are driven to breed with the best that they can find in order to improve the genes of their offspring.

Women in general are driven by more emotional criteria. Once again I think it's evolutionary. If you got to invest 9 months carrying a child and raising it, finding a mate who will provide and protect is advantageous.

 

[keenobserver]

Let me explain. I've met a lot of gay men (especially those considered "below average" in the look department) who complain about how other gay men are so shallow when looking for a romantic partner because they focus on physical appearance and don't pay attention to good men who are beautiful on the inside.

Aren't the same men hypocrites when they, themselves, have high expectations on the outside beauty and are also looking for Mr. Hot Guy?

Two thoughts on this - "A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?" A friend of mine - female was the hot beauty when I was growing up. She ticked off all the classic stereotypes - beautiful face, hot, busty body, curving hips, very kind and liked by everyone. She dated a lot of really hot guys over the years, but in her early 30's married a big, really fat older man 15 years her senior. Everyone was stunned. He was a pleasant enough guy to talk to, but he never made much money, had been in trouble with the IRS and was just kind of getting by. They were happy for a lot of years before he died. Sometime after his death someone askes her why, after all the 'great' guys she dated did she get married to him. Her answer - "He was the only one who ever asked."

Second - the standard for what is attractive is much broader than stereotypes. Contrary to popular thinking, people who some consider 'unattractive' really are not to more than one discerning eye. It's always good to consider the whole person before labeling someone 'unattractive.' Hot guys come in all shapes and sizes and they show up in the most unlikely places.

 

[deleted1074483]

Two thoughts on this - "A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?" A friend of mine - female was the hot beauty when I was growing up. She ticked off all the classic stereotypes - beautiful face, hot, busty body, curving hips, very kind and liked by everyone. She dated a lot of really hot guys over the years, but in her early 30's married a big, really fat older man 15 years her senior. Everyone was stunned. He was a pleasant enough guy to talk to, but he never made much money, had been in trouble with the IRS and was just kind of getting by. They were happy for a lot of years before he died. Sometime after his death someone askes her why, after all the 'great' guys she dated did she get married to him. Her answer - "He was the only one who ever asked."

Second - the standard for what is attractive is much broader than stereotypes. Contrary to popular thinking, people who some consider 'unattractive' really are not to more than one discerning eye. It's always good to consider the whole person before labeling someone 'unattractive.' Hot guys come in all shapes and sizes and they show up in the most unlikely places.

great answer, and well considered and so true.

 

[Player_01]

If they're mad hot guys won't date them but they won't date non-hot guys either then I would say yes.
If you won't date you, don't get mad no one else would either.

That said, I will always try for guys a bit out of my league just in case and I am working on myself to be in better shape, and a better place in life, so I am worth it for them too.

 

[tangas]

There is no unattractive men or women. If you are really good looking and that is only you that knows. Everyone one is beautiful if you really think about it. Everyone has their own qualities and that what makes us different. What makes you so attractive. If you were around me I probably say who the f does he think he is. You would not be my friend

 

[HungBtmVegas]

Ugly straight guys only wanna date hot women too.