Jealous of how easy it is for others to get sex

[Hairynotmerry]

I am an early 30’s gay male with an average body and face. People tell me I’m handsome but it’s never the drop dead gorgeous men who say so. I am not the confident person in the world and I’m a bit shy. I can carry a conversation thought so I feel like on apps that should help me at least find someone to hook up with. Anyways my friend has hooked up with tons of men and is so open about it. It seems as if I cannot get anyone to look my way or want to hook up with me.

I’m a bit jealous.

 

[Evenflow618]

Keep meeting people it will come to you

 

[briacon429]

I agree with Evenflow! I’m sure you’ll do great. If you wanna chat privately, feel free to DM me.

 

[Hairynotmerry]

Keep meeting people it will come to you

I agree with Evenflow! I’m sure you’ll do great. If you wanna chat privately, feel free to DM me.

I will say I have spent most of 2023 putting myself out there. I did have a boyfriend for about 3 months. It’s just I hop on the apps and it’s crickets. Or people will talk and ask what I’m looking for then stop talking.

 

[ILoveGames48]

That’s pretty much same way with me .. I never hid the fact I was gay. — even though been a couple women along the way..

 

[Evenflow618]

I will say I have spent most of 2023 putting myself out there. I did have a boyfriend for about 3 months. It’s just I hop on the apps and it’s crickets. Or people will talk and ask what I’m looking for then stop talking.

Keep trying to meet in person, apps are a waste of time for most of us

 

[ILoveGames48]

Especially Grindr .. go there all time and see the same guys over and over for last z5 years

 

[marriedasian]

People tell me I’m handsome but it’s never the drop dead gorgeous men who say so.

Are you specifically going after "drop dead gorgeous" men only? If so, do you know what they want and are you "what they want" because if you are ignorant of this then you will NEVER connect with a drop dead gorgeous man, ever, done, period, go home.

Many women also make this mistake and complain that they can't find any "good" men when normal men would wife them up instantly.

Anyways my friend has hooked up with tons of men and is so open about it. It seems as if I cannot get anyone to look my way or want to hook up with me.

Your friend may not be as picky as you are. He may also be better looking or more socially less awkward than you (yep, gotta face that reality too). It can be many other reasons as well. Have you talked to your friend and ask him why he's so successful? Tried to emulate him? Learn from him?

I’m a bit jealous.

Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. You simply need to maximize who you are and go from there.


If you want to catch a great white shark, your not gonna go out in the ocean in a kayak with fishing gear from Walmart and nightcrawlers as bait... I hope this analogy makes sense to you.

Lastly, there's too much missing information about you that there's no way to properly give you critical advice here and I'm not going to fill in the blanks with my imagination.

Good luck!

 

[Hairynotmerry]

Are you specifically going after "drop dead gorgeous" men only? If so, do you know what they want and are you "what they want" because if you are ignorant of this then you will NEVER connect with a drop dead gorgeous man, ever, done, period, go home.

Many women also make this mistake and complain that they can't find any "good" men when normal men would wife them up instantly.



Your friend may not be as picky as you are. He may also be better looking or more socially less awkward than you (yep, gotta face that reality too). It can be many other reasons as well. Have you talked to your friend and ask him why he's so successful? Tried to emulate him? Learn from him?



Comparing yourself to others is a losing game. You simply need to maximize who you are and go from there.


If you want to catch a great white shark, your not gonna go out in the ocean in a kayak with fishing gear from Walmart and nightcrawlers as bait... I hope this analogy makes sense to you.

Lastly, there's too much missing information about you that there's no way to properly give you critical advice here and I'm not going to fill in the blanks with my imagination.

Good luck!

Thank you for your reply. Yeah there is definitely missing information lol. My friend has a very social job so I’m sure he finds it easy to strike up conversations. I would say I think I do well on apps chatting with people. I do not just send dick pics or immediately ask to fuck. I say hey what’s up, how’s your day, chat a bit maybe 6 messages before asking what they are looking for.

What I mean by gorgeous men. I mean I think I’m an attractive person but the men who hit me up are not drop dead gorgeous. They are attractive to me at times. I definitely do not go after drop dead gorgeous men. No reason to be rejected haha so I stay in my lane.

 

[dreamer20]

I'm a shy, handsome, 30+ gay male. I thought apps could help find me a hook up. My friend hooks up with tons of men. Yet I can't. I’m jealous.

The solution to your dilemma is simple. Ask your friend to fix you up with someone and/or have sex with him.

 

[theplayerking]

Have you tried a bathhouse or a sex party? I find guys are much more likely to play when they’re already naked and boned up.

 

[rope9839]

Most of my ability to get laid started with alcohol. When I was young, both of us were almost always drunk.

As I got older and a little wiser, I learned to tap into some of those same inhibitions in any number of situations.

 

[N__B]

I am an early 30’s gay male with an average body and face. People tell me I’m handsome but it’s never the drop dead gorgeous men who say so. I am not the confident person in the world and I’m a bit shy. I can carry a conversation thought so I feel like on apps that should help me at least find someone to hook up with. Anyways my friend has hooked up with tons of men and is so open about it. It seems as if I cannot get anyone to look my way or want to hook up with me.

I’m a bit jealous.

I'm 19 and I feel like I could give a fresh perspective on this depending on what you are actually looking for, the drop-dead gorgeous people on apps only really exist on those apps, id be happy to give my perspective on DMs and can give some kind honesty too, everyone who replies on these chats seem so bitter

 

[Hairynotmerry]

I'm 19 and I feel like I could give a fresh perspective on this depending on what you are actually looking for, the drop-dead gorgeous people on apps only really exist on those apps, id be happy to give my perspective on DMs and can give some kind honesty too, everyone who replies on these chats seem so bitter

I really looking for the people who I am attracted too, to want me back. I know there is drop dead gorgeous men out there but I just want someone I find attractive to reciprocate the same. It seems like that doesn’t happen to me.

 

[Electric blue]

When my GF of six years died ,I thought I would never be with any one , after a number of years , this woman bumped in to me when I was grocery shopping , we hit it off from the start , Sex has never been this good , like a movie , I believe she was sent to me to get out of a deep state of depression, now I don't use any meds , She is my drug of choice

 

[dreamer20]

I'm 30+ gay, male with average body and face. People tell I’m handsome but it’s never the drop dead gorgeous men. It seems I cannot get anyone to look my way or want to hook up with me.

I'm looking for people I am attracted too, to want me back..drop dead gorgeous men out there but I just want someone I find attractive to reciprocate the same..that doesn’t happen to me.

Were you not so picky, and ignoring the men who weren't drop dead gorgeous, you would have found someone to hook up with. Please lower your standards and find someone/anyone to love/have sex with from the average body and face crowd.

 

[Hairynotmerry]

Were you not so picky, and ignoring the men who weren't drop dead gorgeous, you would have found someone to hook up with. Please lower your standards and find someone to love/have sex with from the average body and face crowd.

I think you misunderstood me. I am not looking for a drop dead gorgeous man. I am looking for someone were we are both mutually attracted.

 

[Sei_]

Welp.. This is gonna be a bit "brutal" (but not rude) depending on how you will take it.

I am on the same boat. I'm a bit of an introverted guy, so going outside, at bars.. with a full ton of people is not my cup of tea. And with time, I've understood that it is basically HOW you can easily hookup with dudes.

Also, reason why I never "succeed" is because I'm way too picky, but also because I do tend to go for the "drop dead georgous" dudes. I do agree with another person that replied something like : those people only exist on the apps. Which means.. They're there to either promote theirs insta (some do even dare to say it on theirs bio), or.. just to obtain some ego boost.

Most of the people I do know online, IRL, say the same thing (that I am handsome), and are shocked when they do know that I'm not the kind of guy that does not hookup a shit ton etc.

But something they all can agree with, are a couple details, and maybe you should focus on that too (and maybe it could help you as well!) :

- I am overly awkward, even more if a hot guy hits me up. A quick example would be : The rare time I go to a friend's party, and a guy (that I do find attractive), does start talking to me, without paying attention I will get defensive. Which.. ehh... let's be honest, can be a turn off for some.

- The pictures I do put online or on some apps do not do me justice as all.
The amount of guys that told me that I do look wayyyy better IRL is pretty high. But also, some friends that did saw the pics I do use on some apps, told me that they don't look the best.

- I totally suck interacting with others. I. Do. Not. Know. How to interract.

And all of these points are tied up to something you wrote on your topic : Lack of confidence.
All due to past bullying, or some bad stuff happening to me. Which is pretty funny, because when people do see me they tend to think I'm a total asshole, and a confident person lol.

______________

So to make it short : Whatever it is, always do ask around to people that are truthworthy what they do think about your attitude, the way you present yourself, the way you interract with people, or even the pictures you do take and use on some apps.

You probably will end up upset, or offended, BUT down the line it will help you to work on those things.

 

[Hairynotmerry]

Thank you so much for your reply! I definitely think it has a lot to do with my confidence. I actually went out with my friend this past weekend and he sort of made it a point to change the conversation into my appearance. The man we were talking to also made it a point to ask random people if I’m attractive. I left there mortified but I think I got the point.

Talking with guys on the apps is different because I also think I do not know how to keep conversations going. I am never the one who asks what are you looking for because it’s not my only intention. I am terrible at small talk
I try to go for guys I find attractive because it’s Grindr most people are not there to meet the one.

 

[chrisrobin]

I am an early 30’s gay male with an average body and face. People tell me I’m handsome but it’s never the drop dead gorgeous men who say so. I am not the confident person in the world and I’m a bit shy. I can carry a conversation thought so I feel like on apps that should help me at least find someone to hook up with. Anyways my friend has hooked up with tons of men and is so open about it. It seems as if I cannot get anyone to look my way or want to hook up with me.

I’m a bit jealous.

Don't be jealous of your friend because you have standards and he is just out for sex