Massage Therapy Concern

[Julesm]

Hi Ladies,
I was a massage therapist in, Santa Cruz California, for several years. It was Esalen Style* which is clothing optional; however, most ladies prefer to be nude. Of course, a lady can only relax when she feels safe; consequently, I had new clients arrange for a phone call from a friend at the half way point. That - when combined with the assurances that if she felt anxious, scared and/or uncomfortable, the massage would stop, and she would not be charged for our time, and this was a non sexual experience - created a safe healing environment, and a solid customer base. So far - so good.

I moved to Bangkok, and began working with Eastern Bloc ladies - many of whom had been treated badly by men. These ladies have a much more "open" attitude towards sexuality that their American sisters. Which became evident during our post therapy talks. In short, many needed to have an orgasm to release their trauma based tension. They told me that the massage made them feel beautiful - yet they needed more. What was I to do? How could I give them what they needed - without transforming the therapy into (pardon me ladies) a pussy licking/masturbation session? The solution was to take a G spot stimulation course at one of Bangkok's myriad holistic spas. Curiously, the G spot "work" is done by women. I talked to the owner, and she explained that many Thai women have been so mistreated by men, that they can only relax with a woman. After reviewing my credentials,she told me that it would be okay for me to learn on the aforementioned Eastern Bloc clients. I combined my new skill with my massage, and the ladies were able to have a healing - stress relieving - non-sexual orgasm.


Let me relate Lucinda's therapeutic synopsis. When we had our first pre-massage talk, she told me that she did not feel beautiful. She further confided that her ex called her a ugly bitch, hit her frequently, and had sex with other women. Lucinda visibly tensed when I said "you are lovely young lady." During our second "traditional" session, she said that needed more. I complied, and she had a powerful orgasm. She showered, then we hugged and I said "do you feel beautiful, and strong" she smiled and said yes.

ladies, I need help. I am moving back to California, and I a fear that my services will be viewed as being perverted by my clients. Should I just start by continuing my "old" style of massage? If I do that, how do I discuss the G spot option? (Curiously, not only most guys, but also many women do not understand the connections between, a safe environment, trust, the importance of verbalizing her problems, gentleness, loving attention, stress relief, and the non-sexual female orgasm.) What is the best way to introduce the "new option" without creating anxiety and mistrust?

Thanks,

Jules.







*Esalen Massage is best described as the meeting and merging of form, energy, structure, and soul. With its nurturing contact, long strokes, and detailed attention to the whole body, an Esalen Massage provides a state of deep relaxation and healing. Our holistic modality, designed to enhance awareness and balance, achieves therapeutic effects without deep-tissue techniques.

 

[MickeyLee]

@Scarletbegonia

 

[Julesm]

@Scarletbegonia

Your reply did not display?

Cheers

 

[MickeyLee]

My comment will make sense in good time.

Most women in Burgerland would be appalled at the offer of "g-spot work". Any therapeutic relationship would destroyed...like, I roll in freak circles, lots of alternative body work, offering g-spot anything would be met with less than healing feelings.


You'd likely 86 any licenses or permissions to offer any massage services. Not to mention absolutely shitting on the entire industry, specific like negative assumptions about male massage therapists.

Ew. Just ew.
We can't have nice things #67,459

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Thanks for the bat signal.


California’s system is certification, working on legislated licensure. Licensing is the best path for CA.

What you are offering is in Tantra land. Please market as this and be VERY clear and separate from your legitimate massage. Use different names and if possible, offices. Definitely different emails and phone numbers.

I will tell you that impropriety is reported. One of my mentors went to jail for inappropriate touch on his clients. His life is profoundly different. Not the life he built.

also, your ownership language of Esalen is repellant. You are not an Esalen therapist, by your description.
(I hold an actual Esalen certificate)

 

[Julesm]

Thanks Mickylee,

You have confirmed my worst fears. I will only do G spot work on close friends.
I need to remember that the American woman's mind set concerning sexuality is very different from that of the aforementioned "foreign" ladies.

 

[Julesm]

Hi Scarletbegonia. Thanks for your good advice. At the same time, I must make clear that I do not own a Esalen certificate.
I met ladies at Kiva Retreat House, Water Street Santa Cruz, and we did work at another location.

To be clear, I practice Esalan style massage. Not Tantric. Even in Bangkok, I only do G spot work if the lady asks for it,

Thanks for your honesty.

Cheers.

 

[Julesm]

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attract...tf/1547175/?albumid=-160&type=0&category=-160

 

[Scarletbegonia]

We don’t need ads. We are completely capable of looking up a place.

Your OP uses possessive language calling Esalen “our” modality.
Esalen is extremely protective of its name because people were using it with actual sex, not simply the pre 80s nudity they embraced.
Massage has grown into a medical option, and is distancing much of its hippie roots.

 

[Julesm]

Well, I don't need to be judged.
That was not an add. It was support for my argument.
FYI, Kiva was clothing optional until it closed a few years ago. Did you work there? Are you familiar with women who have not been inculcated by the Feminist Sociological Perspective?

Goodbye.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I find those who say they don’t need to be judged, are secretly judging.

 

[deleted848353]

Sorry but I'd never go to you as a massage therapist as you would make me feel so uncomfortable from your attitude towards someone who gave u advice also no wonder the place you linked despite noone asking you to closed with some of those reviews

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Well, I don't need to be judged.
That was not an add. It was support for my argument.
FYI, Kiva was clothing optional until it closed a few years ago. Did you work there? Are you familiar with women who have not been inculcated by the Feminist Sociological Perspective?

Goodbye.

Fuck outta here with your bullshit.

Are you judging me? Fucking hilarious.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Let’s hope the goodbye is real

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Let’s hope the goodbye is real

 

[MickeyLee]

I love how the issue is "Burgerland women have sexual hangups" and not "maybe women with a history of nightmare levels of abuse, which trained them to placate men to avoid further violence, might have told him what he wanted to hear"

Kick rocks, finger pop.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

In my experience, men who travel to Thailand not associated with employment or education, and stay a while tend to abuse the power systems Thai men have built. They are free to participate in sex tourism, or prey upon transwomen and women, and girls, with few repercussions.

They then wind up online, seeking western women just to scream about how uptight they are. No, we are starting to get the power of law on our side without it being a theft from a male relative.

I notice white men go to Thailand, while Thai women come to the US and stay, even leaving husbands behind.
A friend of mine was thrilled to be “stuck” here during covid, while her husband was back home.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

So, let’s talk about draping and clothing in massage (for recipients) in the US. I’d love to hear about other westernized nations.
**A legitimate therapist will always be clothed. Not bathing suits, not lingerie, clothes. Maybe yoga wear, maybe scrubs, I’ve seen khakis and polos, a lot. I’ve seen some therapists doing 15 & 30 min medical sessions in what look like suit pants and a button up. I’ve seen two ties in a decade. I’ve seen plenty of workout wear, too. And these are the “you choose” places, not uniformed.**

(FWIW, Thai styles are clothed, just like shiatsu)

Nudity under the sheets is generally allowed. Some states regulate underwear must be worn, most simply require sheet draping, with a general understanding that the gluteal cleft and breasts (of women) are covered.
Now, that coverage applies while repositioning, so a sheet is a) less weight and b) better coverage during moving. Some jurisdictions are okay with a large towel. I have used a hand towel for breasts while doing on skin abdominal work. The Goddesses of Laundry showed me the error of my water wasting ways, and I personally work through sheets now. (I’m often in water restrictions)

A client should not be making the call on draping. Unless they want more. Clients of the questionable sort often use decreasing draping as a creeping line with young or inexperienced therapists.
In my work, I’d say 70 percent of people leave on their undies. A couple women tend to leaving on bras. Whatever, I can work around that, they have stated their boundary.

Only two men have made their response to massage my problem, one by stating and doing some seriously wrong stuff (session ended, full price and 20 percent tip from card on file, and a police report for solicitation), one by leaving a biohazard spill on the table, after taking too long to dress and leave. He was fired by the establishment, and flagged in the chain’s system. We shared his info with a few local spots, too.

#respectmassage

 

[deleted848353]

So, let’s talk about draping and clothing in massage (for recipients) in the US. I’d love to hear about other westernized nations.
**A legitimate therapist will always be clothed. Not bathing suits, not lingerie, clothes. Maybe yoga wear, maybe scrubs, I’ve seen khakis and polos, a lot. I’ve seen some therapists doing 15 & 30 min medical sessions in what look like suit pants and a button up. I’ve seen two ties in a decade. I’ve seen plenty of workout wear, too. And these are the “you choose” places, not uniformed.**

(FWIW, Thai styles are clothed, just like shiatsu)

Nudity under the sheets is generally allowed. Some states regulate underwear must be worn, most simply require sheet draping, with a general understanding that the gluteal cleft and breasts (of women) are covered.
Now, that coverage applies while repositioning, so a sheet is a) less weight and b) better coverage during moving. Some jurisdictions are okay with a large towel. I have used a hand towel for breasts while doing on skin abdominal work. The Goddesses of Laundry showed me the error of my water wasting ways, and I personally work through sheets now. (I’m often in water restrictions)

A client should not be making the call on draping. Unless they want more. Clients of the questionable sort often use decreasing draping as a creeping line with young or inexperienced therapists.
In my work, I’d say 70 percent of people leave on their undies. A couple women tend to leaving on bras. Whatever, I can work around that, they have stated their boundary.

Only two men have made their response to massage my problem, one by stating and doing some seriously wrong stuff (session ended, full price and 20 percent tip from card on file, and a police report for solicitation), one by leaving a biohazard spill on the table, after taking too long to dress and leave. He was fired by the establishment, and flagged in the chain’s system. We shared his info with a few local spots, too.

#respectmassage

I've had a massage was told to undress down to my underwear except bra but that's coz it was easier for the type of massage I had (hot stone) and had a sheet draped over my lower half and if memory serves the massage therapist wore yoga wear.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I've had a massage was told to undress down to my underwear except bra but that's coz it was easier for the type of massage I had (hot stone) and had a sheet draped over my lower half and if memory serves the massage therapist wore yoga wear.

Bras get in the way of some muscle sites, and some therapists have a no go if it’s covered mindset.
Bras also get damaged by the oils, over time. Just like our own body oils.

my work wear is a set of black pants and black T shirt for one place, very flexible jeans and Tshirt or “camp shirt” (shirt sleeves, button down) for the in home kiddos and my own office.
The greater fight I’ve gotten into is not wearing shoes. I walk/step on my clients, I’m not wearing shoes, dammit.