Micro agressions in sex

[Chrissmarz]

Hey all
I just wanted to talk about something I don’t often feel comfortable discussing with my friends. I am a Middle Eastern gay guy and I am very comfortable with where I am from and I can be very “middle eastern” but I feel crappy when guys call me “exotic” or use other words with the same meaning. Worst of all when a guy asks me to speak to him in Arabic during sex! That’s an immediate turn off for me and I feel like an animal on exhibition or in a zoo
Any of you non white guys feel the same? Are my feelings valid or am I exaggerating?

 

[Dippo]

Hey all
I just wanted to talk about something I don’t often feel comfortable discussing with my friends. I am a Middle Eastern gay guy and I am very comfortable with where I am from and I can be very “middle eastern” but I feel crappy when guys call me “exotic” or use other words with the same meaning. Worst of all when a guy asks me to speak to him in Arabic during sex! That’s an immediate turn off for me and I feel like an animal on exhibition or in a zoo
Any of you non white guys feel the same? Are my feelings valid or am I exaggerating?

I'm white, but seemingly live in the same country as you and have had non-white friends report the same things that you have. Sadly not surprised to hear this as a result.

Your feelings are valid, always. You shouldn't feel tokenised by a romantic/sexual partner in any way, and there's far smaller reasons to be turned off and stop things with someone than what you're getting subjected to, cause that's just really shitty. You deserve better, and they deserve to be educated.

Also, found this interesting as I've actually asked a partner to speak in their first language before, but that was Italian and not Arabic. I just found that hot getting to see a different side to them, but you've given me something to think about there.

 

[chrisrobin]

I have to feel sorry for your choice of lacking in empathy sex partners.
Over the years I've made love/had sex/a quickie with guys of all shades and backgrounds and have never once used their ethnicity to enhance the sexual experience.
To be basic its cock and cum and snogging that I want not a box ticking exercise.

 

[Chrissmarz]

Thanks all for your comments it’s great to see that those feelings are valid

 

[tabana]

Them: "I've always fantasized / wondered about being with a ..."
Me: I see red, red, oh red flags.

Practically every white person I've been has either said it or is thinking it and it comes out in some form or other at one point. Sometimes I think that them being honest and open about it is better, rather than using me to prove (themselves) they're not racist.

Those I've been with and seemed to be most neutral then turn out to actively never date white people or or or. There is always something and I hate that race is never not a thing.

I will continue to date white people (if I'm attracted to you, I'm attracted to you) and hope to be pleasantly surprised some day. I've heard of those unicorns existing. I'm not holding my breath just yet though.

 

[HungBtmVegas]

I hate when guys try to pressure me into topping bc I'm black and have a big cock, so much so that I won't date or hook up with vers guys anymore