Most unexpected sexual encounter

auncut10in

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Our printer had run out of ink, so I told my partner I would pick some up at Office Depot on my morning bike ride. I went into the store, found the ink and went straight to the check out. It had a small line, but nothing too bad. There was a couple in front of me that I figured out were probably gay. There I was standing behind them in my red biking shorts. One of them glances down and does a double take. He looks up and I just smile. Then he turns back around and with his hands behind him backs slowly into me until he was close enough to give my dick a big squeeze. So random, and totally unexpected encounter. And this is with other people behind me.

While they are paying for their purchase, the guy asks where the restrooms are. The clerk points them out, he turns to me and smiles. Yeah I got the message. I pay for my ink and for some reason have to use the bathroom as well. I walk in, and as soon as they see who it is, they both reach out and start rubbing my dick. Of course I get instantly hard. For the next few minutes they take turns sucking me off until I shoot my load in one of their mouths. I stuff my softening dick back in my biking shorts and continue on my ride.

Office Depot? Wasn't expecting that.
 

tippindascalez

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So I bought a house and was getting my things together. Decided to hire a pool guy who could help me maintain the pool and a gardener since my house and the surrounding was over 2700 sq ft. My pool guy I never saw but knew the job was being done as he preferred to come when I was at work, but my gardener Alfonso (changed his name) came on my day off which was Momdays. He was tough rough looking mexican kinda guy. Spoke minimal English but did a great job and was always grateful. One morning he complemented my physic and asked me how often I go to to the gym (in broken English). Him being married with kids didn't think any of it and I responded 5 times a week. Started noticing after that day, that anytime he saw me, he would hug me full on hug where his dick would touch my dick. His was soft so I thought it was just coincidental. On one occassion, I came downstairs and wanted to show him a patch of dead grass I needed him to take care of. He asked me to lead the way. However most of my downstairs are reflective windows so I caught him checking out my ass as I walked ahead of him. Still thought it was coincidental, so the the next time I would see him, it was time for some good gym shorts and tank top to show off my chest, butt and legs.
The next Monday came along, he rang the door bell, opened the door wearing my workout tank top and shorts as if I was about to head to the gym. He stopped in his track but quickly collected himself upon me opening the door. Greeted me with the full on hug, calling me Amigo and told me I looked good (in broken English and a deep tone). He then told me he needed to show me something wrong with the sprinkler timer by the garage. Since it needed a flashlight to see what he was showing me, I had to step closer. He stepped closer and he was pointed his flashlight to show me what he was talking about, he pulled me into him. He was burly, in his mid to late 30's, broad shoulders, big rough hands, wide body and a goatee and moustache that screamed man that loved his beer and women Hahahaha. As he pulled me closer showing me what was wrong, he ground his dick into mine e subtly. I asked him to show me again and I did the same thing to him. He proceeded to show me and then cupped my ass. I closed my eyes and then he whispered "I want fuck you Amigo". Without saying much, I took him by the hand and led him upstairs where we undressed, gave he pushed my head down. Gave him a blow job and he had to stop me before he came. Asked me if I had a condom, i quickly reached over to my nightstand and got out my lube and condom. He was 6.5 inches but not really thick so it was good since the last time I was with a guy was like 4 years past and last time I was fucked was 7 years past. I asked him how he wanted me, and he motioned to me to get on my back. He put on the condom, I lubed my ass and he went in. He kissed me as he lay ontop of me, cupped my ass and started pumping away. He started to bite on my neck as he fucked me sending me to heaven. He didn't last long as he kept saying "you tight Bro , you tight". Then he had one final thrust and convulsed ontop of me before kissing my neck and my lips, thanking me. He held onto the condom as he pulled out of me, then pulled it off him and showed me his spunk in it saying this could get me pregnant. We both laughed. He obviously wanted to let me know he still liked women. He asked me to jerk off which I did while he watched and got dressed. I got a wish cloth cleaned myself and put on gym clothes wherein he pulled me closed immediately, gave me a deep kiss, grabbed my ass in such a way my feet was off the ground(he was strong). Put me up against the wall and said, I fuck you again next week? I said of course. He gave me his number and asked me not to send him and sex messages but to say I needed my tree trimmed or grass treated. Yeah never expected my gardener to bang the shit out of me. Hahahaha
I would LOVE for my gardeners to fuck me. They all are some good looking guys with nice bodies. One of them has an ass that his jeans just accentuates so perfectly.
 

longstroke7

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one afternoon I was home relaxing when I got a call from a girl who I was FWBs with. She was a waitress who was in college, but she also stripped...she had a lot going on but she was blonde with a sexy and tight pear shaped body, and we had spent more than a few nights together.

I didn't expect to hear from her that day and she told me she was in a bind and needed to borrow a few bucks to get by til her pay day. She had never asked anything from me before and I knew she was kind of going through it so I told her sure, come by.

So about an hour later she shows up, and I tell her to hold on I'll get her the money. I give it to her and told her to pay me back whenever. She hugged me and then she said to come with her to my bedroom. I was a bit shocked at first, and she said it again.

I implicitly told her that she did not have to do anything for the money, but she insisted. We go back to the bedroom and she begins undoing my belt and again, I repeat to her that she does not have to do anything. She began to suck my cock, and soon my protests turned to groans as her mouth began to make me lose my sensibility. I gave in.

After she sucked me til my cock got rock hard, she asked if I had rubbers in the drawer. I nodded yes quietly, my cock throbbing as I was trying to comprehend what was happening. She rolled a condom down my cock, and took off her pants and panties to reveal her clean shaven pussy.

She got on top of me and slowly lowered herself down my cock, as both of us let out sharp breaths as the feeling of our bodies joining together began to take hold.

She laid down on top of me and began to slowly rock her hips up and down on my cock. I groaned as I wrapped my arms around her, my left hand reaching down to play with her ass hole as she fucked me. She really knew how to fuck my dick good. She rode me for a good while until she had her fill, and then she rolled over and stuck her ass up in the air.

"Come."

I grunted as I got up, my dick feeling heavy and hard like a baseball bat. I put one leg up as I pushed my cock into her, and began to give her backshots from behind. The feeling of her fat ass slapping against me drove me to fuck harder, as I grabbed a handful of her long blonde hair. Her moans and yells filled the air as the sex intensified.

The fucking from behind went on for 10 minutes, eventually shifting to a prone bone position, as I rode her ass, digging my dick deep as I held her close, tasting her neck, lips, and earlobes as we continued.

Eventually the urge to cum started to well up from within, and i pinned her down by her lower back and began to long thrust into her, bouncing off of her ass with each stroke. I told her I was about to nut, and she gripped the edge of the bed as she knew what was coming.

I began to fuck her hard and rapidly, losing control over my lower body as my cock stiffened up to max capacity, and my swollen balls began to pull up and tighten. I yelled as I felt my dick and balls begin to pump hard, releasing 3 days worth of cum into the condom as i was wearing, while pressing my dick deep into her pussy. It was over.

She motioned for me to kiss her, and I did. I then got up and went to the bathroom to clean my cock and dispose of the rubber. When I got back to the bedroom she was fully dressed. She hugged me and thanked me, and said that she had to go.

Feeling guilty, I once again told her that she didn't have to rush to pay me back. She thanked me again for being good to her, and then she left, as I stood in my living room nude, my cock hanging and pulsing, wondering what the hell just happened.

A week passed and she stopped by to repay me. That was the last time I heard from her. To this day I still feel like I should have refused to have sex with her, because something was clearly wrong.
 

Lance V

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Uh yeah, I got one. My ex-wife's niece. I was invited to her wedding even though her aunt and I had been divorced for a couple of years. I kind of watched her grow up, and she was always a sweet child who grew into a beautiful woman.

Her marriage lasted three years.

Some time after her divorce we met up at one of her cousin's weddings. My ex's family really liked me. They knew I wasn't the bad guy.

We met. We talked a lot. Drank a lot and ended up in my room.

Did it feel weird? Not at the time, but when I think about it yeah, kinda.
 

halcyondays

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Did it feel weird? Not at the time, but when I think about it yeah, kinda.

A similar thing happened with a cousin-in-law. I flew across the country to a cousin's wedding (an excuse to visit my elderly parents who were in the last few years of their lives). Assigned seating at the reception left me next to a cousin-in-law at the miscellaneous singles table. I knew her by repute as a wild child but we had never met before. We hit it off.

Add weed to alcohol and we ended in my hotel room all night. Her reputation was accurate. She told me I had a reputation too.

Didn't feel weird to me at the time either. I expected it'd become part of family gossip. If it did it never got back to me. That's one advantage of a very large extended family. We were both in our 30s so maturity probably had something to do with it as well.
 

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Hey all,

Something I've always thought about myself, what's your most unexpected sexual encounter you've had, e.g (with someone you never expected it to happen with but it did?)

For example mine is with an old school friends sister...

We saw eachother now and then over the years as I was friends with her brother,always though she was hot but that was it,one night we bumped into eachother on a night out in a bar,got talking,ended up kissing and swapping numbers,over a few days we spoke more,and ended up meeting up and ended up in bed together,this went on for a good year on and off,

What's yours?

So many I have no idea where to start...many times just started with knocks on my door from people I had never met who "heard" about me from friends, coworkers, even a relative of theirs.....others were women I have met at various places...even husbands I have met...several specific incidents come to mind, where they realized I am overly endowed and set it up for me to meet their wife....meeting couples on a nudist beach or at a clothing. optional resort...woman standing by my car in a parking lot and waiting for me after I left work and I had no idea who she was (this happened twice...as the first woman later told another who tried the same "tactic" to meet me)...mail from someone I did not know who wrote me and told me they had heard of me from a "friend" and sent a picture and a phone number if I was interested in meeting them....a Starbucks coffee shop late just before closing...clients who I have known for many years just out of the blue asking me if they could "see" and would they mind if their wife joined us....my "list" would go on and on....
 

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Uh yeah, I got one. My ex-wife's niece. I was invited to her wedding even though her aunt and I had been divorced for a couple of years. I kind of watched her grow up, and she was always a sweet child who grew into a beautiful woman.

Her marriage lasted three years.

Some time after her divorce we met up at one of her cousin's weddings. My ex's family really liked me. They knew I wasn't the bad guy.

We met. We talked a lot. Drank a lot and ended up in my room.

Did it feel weird? Not at the time, but when I think about it yeah, kinda.


Having sex with women who are relatives of other women I have had sex with...that has never bothered me at all...I have never initiated it...they always have...but women do "talk"...aka "gossip"...and if they. can do so discreetly...as one woman once told me...she wanted to see for herself if the rumors she had heard from some of her female relatives were true and "what all the fuss was about"....lol.
 

BigBen

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Well, this brought up some wonderful old memories. We worked together for a couple of years. We flirted like crazy, but both of us knew not to screw up a relationship with an office romance. But it would get so heated in the office that some days I would be crazy with lust when I'd get home. One day he told me he got a job offer he couldn't refuse. My heart sank. It was for an agency three blocks away!

Lunches were never the same.

Ellie...you are so smart and sexy and good and nice..and sexy....office romance or not...I would have never been able to resist you...we would have honored your wishes by keeping it out of the company "eye"...but I would have given you so many orgasms every day/night that you would be exhausted every night when you closed your eyes to sleep...happy...thrilled...but exhausted.
 

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For this,
she said, squeezing my balls a little and moving her forearm against my cock.

Who knows? I asked.

Everyone, she said.[/QUOTE]

I learned that too growing up....a long, long, long time a go...different era... in a very small town...it seemed all the much older women...in the era of it being common to be a stay at home housewife...that a lot of them "knew" from "the grapevine" and...some found out for themselves.
 

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Isn't that the premise of the movie, "Three in the Attic"?

In the swinging sixties three girls discover they have the same boyfriend who has been playing around with them all while vowing fidelity to each. To teach him a lesson he won't forget, the trio contrive to lock him up and continually favour him with their attentions in turn.
We wewre supposed to feel sorry for Paxton Quigley. Once you got past the risque' novelty of the basic idea, it wasn't much of a movie.

The more recent Hollyweird version of that movie is "The Other Woman"....
 

BigBen

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We didn't have sex on the spot but a dental assistant who told me she got off at six had me inside by six-thirty.

Reading your experince made me to recall my own "dental assistant" experience. Short version...I was born, as the dentist said.."with Cro magnum mans mouth"...all four wisdom teeth...by my twenties impacted of course. Pearly whites that have never had a cavity. Anyway, when I was about 23 or so, my new dentist told me that the wisdom teeth really should come out. I consented. I was living in Europe at the time...and my dentist, and his spectacularly stunning bombshell of a dental assistant was also American. Impacted wisdom teeth...took hours to remove two on just one side of my mouth. The stunnning blonde...biggest boobs I have ever seen up to that point in my life...sat beside me and held my arm and assisted the doctor the entire time as he worked from the other side of me...her boobs were on my arm and she had her and on my arm for hours and in my hand...even with anesthesia...local...not general...it was very painful...at one point she saw my hose jump up when I extended my leg in pain..and saw the length of me down my left leg...her eyes got wide and she kept on being nice and helpful. A month later same procedure for the two wisdom teeth on the other side of my mouth...same hours long ordeal...she kept making glances down at my thighs...I came back a few weeks later after the second operation for the dentist to see how I healed. I was fine...she gave me her number and address in a small card...never said a word..just looked at me with those big eyes and smiled...she was in Europe because her boyfriend/fiance was living and working nearby....I spent the next weekend in her bed...a week later she broke up with him. I remember she told me that he had a "really huge dick" but not like me and when she had realized what was hanging down my leg she had to see mine and see how much bigger I was than her fiancé. We were together for a few months until her parents...who learned she had broken up with her fiancé...made her move back home and would no longer supplement her lifestyle in Europe...she gave up touring Europe on weekends and vacations and just wanted to stay at her place and have sex with me...I tried to take her out to tour around on weekends.. no... she only wanted sex and was happy to just eat and sleep and talk and laugh with me when not fucking...I told her she could move in with me. Her parents insisted and she moved home as there was a lot of trust fund money involved..and she had never told her parents no on anything. She was a first for many reasons for me....biggest boobs on a small waist and butt I had ever seen in person...and still in the top 3 or 4. Loved my cum...she could get so turned on and excited that she could orgasm just by holding my penis and playing with me...was happy to have sex every moment she was not working...one of the few women who could take a lot of my length inside of her...one of the deepest women I have ever known...older than me by about 4 years...first woman I ever cried for when she left Europe....
 

halcyondays

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I learned that too growing up....a long, long, long time a go...different era... in a very small town...it seemed all the much older women...in the era of it being common to be a stay at home housewife...that a lot of them "knew" from "the grapevine" and...some found out for themselves.

Even my mother warned me that some women would only be interested in me because of my size...lol. I had no idea how many it would be or how in demand I would become. News travels fast. Everywhere I've lived and worked. Even today with women and men I meet. So many secret sex lives. :cool:
 

Howard1122

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My most unexpected encounter was in 2009 at Breaker Bay. At that stage the beach was popular with nudists, a fair range of ages. One area was predominately gay naturists sheltered by bushes. I never bothered with the informal segregation and went where I pleased. On this day I found a group sunbathing. I sat on a log. It was very hot and a member of the group offered to apply sun cream to my body. It was quite erotic as you would imagine. I was quickly aroused. Then my cock was in his mouth, with all eyes on us including some who tried to get, or got themselves hard watching. One thing I remember, though we are not talking about length of time here, was my cock getting longer, followed by an intense climax with my hands tightly on his shoulders. He was erect as well. I was surpised to see that I had the longest erection by far. .
 

JonSomebody

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I've had several unexpected sexual encounters in my life..but I will share this one...There was this very hot "straight" guy that had moved into the building that I lived in at the time and he was known throughout the neighborhood as a "ladies man". Every night..I would go jogging at the baseball park that was nearby and I would always see him and many times with different women on his arm. He always made a point to speak to me which I thought nothing of until one night he stopped me coming into the building's front lobby.

He started a conversation with me by introducing himself properly and asked me my name as well. As he went into his conversation...he mentioned that one of his ladies had asked about me and wanted to know if I was seeing anyone. I told him that I was not interested and he went on to say..."she's hot" and I responded with "yes...she is..but I'm not interested because I'm gay". He smiled and said no judgment and thanks for your honesty...However, not too long afterwards...I started to notice how he would appear out of nowhere during my daily run and wanted to talk to me.

One night..I was coming into the building and he stopped me and then invited me to come visit him some time to have a drink or talk with him. Although I never did get around to doing so...I did not need to...he came to visit me instead. I can tell by his demeanor that he had been either drinking or high and in my head ...I was thinking how hot he was and his body in those tight jeans and t-shirt looked amazing but I never thought that things would go as far they were about to.

Okay..so let me speed this story up...a few days later...he saw me coming down the street and asked me to come with him into his apartment..(he was talking to me from his living room window)..since we both stayed on the main level...I stopped and knocked on his door...he invited me in and offered me something to drink. He got to talking as usual and then he went on to tell me about how he had gotten into a fight a few years prior and he got cut with a knife by the guy he was fighting with.

While he was telling me about this fight...he preceded to take off all of his clothes and stood before butt ass naked in order to show me this untraceable slash towards his lower abdomen. At this moment...it did not take me long to figure out what was going on or what he was trying to do. Like I've mentioned earlier...his body and cock was amazing...and he took my hand to guide me to feel this unnoticed stab wound but he also ran my hand across his chest as well. This is when I noticed he was getting aroused and he pulled me in closer to his body and started kissing me.

He then started whispering dirty talk in my ear while he had my hand stroking his rock hard cock. We started kissing again as his hand went down my pants to grab my then rock hard cock as well....He then told me that what's about to happen has to stay between me and him and he went on to say that he had been watching me for awhile very closely and knew from my demeanor that I would be the one that he could trust with his secret.

The evening turned out to be incredible and afterwards...he asked me to lay with him for awhile. My head was spinning because I could not believe what had just happened. Now...not thinking it was going to happen again...it was not long for me to find out that I was wrong about that...we had sex a lot and things went to another level one night when he bent over the chair in the living room and asked to fuck him...I fucked him in every room of his condo...he was amazing and I love his loud moans and dirty talk. He was a hot freak and as he said..."Fuck my pussy stud!!"...

This arrangement went on for quite some time..things did take a turn because although he was still dating women...he did not like for me to go out with other men and would get very jealous to say the least...this created a problem between us and he gave me an ultimatum..which was a huge mistake...I stopped seeing him and not too long after that...he got engaged to one of his ladies and moved away...I never saw him again...
 

Roccofan

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The only thing in this regard that has happened to me was with the guy who installed my cable when I moved into my new apartment in 2017.

Really basic story though. He was a handsome light brown Dominican guy with wavy, smooth hair and light brown eyes. Anyway, once he finished my cable installation he asked me to check to see if the WiFi connected. I gave him my iPad so he could connect and show me how to change my password and of course he opens the web browser and it’s Pornhub.


He said (in Spanish) “WOW. Can I use your bathroom with this... just kidding.” And I said “sure, go use it but leave the door open so i can watch. Just kidding.” Well that just kidding led to him watching some video while i sucked the hell out of his dick.
 

Nkw17

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2016 at the Gym when I was living in IL, A female friend & I just arrived to do our late workout. We split up to go put our things in the locker rooms. So as I was putting my things away; this tall light skinned blk guy came around the corner & walked past, he then came back & asked me the time it was 10:17pm. So he went on to ask did I have a GF & I said "No" He then said you must have a lot of friends & I said "yeah I have a few friends" & he asks "You want to be my friend" I was confused & said "yeah" & he took my #. So next thing you know he told me to touch his crotch & I looked at it & it was erect! I told him "I can't, its too many people in here". So he told me to come to by the bathroom; I went & waited but he didn't really come all the way over. So then he comes over & says come outside, I told him I was waiting for my friend. So he said we'll just walk to the front... As I was standing in the opening of the locker room he was directly behind me. He told me to touch his dick as it was pressed against my ass, he had me squeeze & rub on it! All I know is that it was huge! He began feeling my ass. We had to stop because people started coming & my friend walked up as he was behind me & said "watch out its someone behind you" lol. Later on that night he facetimed me playing with himself & he was soo big & uncut. He was hott & really wanted to do stuff with me. The thing is that I wasn't fully comfortable with myself or experienced at all; so me being kinda afraid prob turned him off. I think he just wanted to hit it & quit it anyway because I tried to have him add me on social media & he said he didn't have any & I tried calling him to hangout but his number wasn't valid or connected to anything. I hoped to see him again & never did since he came as a guest with the Basketball guys & I ended up moving to AZ a few months later.
 

pradelicious

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I was in a taxi with my best friend after a night out in town celebrating my birthday that day. It was a weeknight so my friend had to go home early to sleep and the clubs were not really happening since most people had to work the next day except for me who took the next day off. I was seated in the front because my friend wanted to have a quick lie down and sleep at the back after a long day for him.
After dropping my tired friend home at his place, the cab driver, a very nice mannered and clean looking guy in his 30s broke the ice with me and asked me about my night. I just explained that it had been my birthday dinner and it was rather unfestive as it was a Tuesday. He chuckled and said that I was still young and there were going to be better birthdays.
I asked about him and he said he'd been married for 5 years, no kids and he drives the cab on top of having his own business. Then I realized that the guy was rather hot looking because when we were chatting earlier I had not turn to look at him. I told him that it was sweet of him to try and cheer me up. He asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said "no". He asked me "why not" in a chuffed kind of way. I hesitated for a while and said that I was not attracted to girls. Then it became awkwardly silent. He turned on the radio to some A/C station. Michael Bolton played.
We reached the street that was adjacent to my house. It was 12.40 am. He stopped the car at the side of the street. I was puzzled.
He then asked: " your house must be on the next street?" . I confirmed it. He took a few minutes to continue but then said "so, what kind of things do you do to another guy?"
I told him, " I don't know, but I like to suck dicks I guess..." He looked ahead into the quiet night throught the windscreen. Most of the neighborhood was dark except for the street lights.
Then he turned to me and asked " do you want to suck mine?"
I thought ; hell why not, it was my 24th birthday, I was single, the guy was very polite and cute...

So I unzipped his jeans, by this point our seatbelts were off and he was hard. He let me take control and seemed inexperienced to that kind of behavior. 8 inches, cut, smells of clean musk, well groomed from what I saw in the soft lighting. I reclined his seat and went to town.
He was so into it, arms both up and his eyes closed, I made sure each testicle and inch of his penis felt my 24 year old tongue while my hands caressed his inner thigh, flat tummy and chest. He was quite a moaner. About half an hour later, while my tongue was on his frenulum, he got up and held my head and politely told me that he was going to shoot his load. Before he could finish his sentence, a very hard hitting load shot up and hit his car windscreen, my nostril, then subsequent jizz shot him in his eyes and clothes. It was pretty intense.
Then he profusely apologized and told me 1. He hadn't cum in more than a week because his wife has her period.
2. I was his first gay experience.

I reassured him it was fine, then he asked me if he could make it up to me by taking him home where " I can do whatever I want to him". I thought about it for a second then I lied saying I had to work in the morning. He gave me his number, I pretended that my neighbor's house 4 doors down was mine.
I never called him, because I did not want a regular fling with a married man.
 

DiamondJoe

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At my first Burning Man in 2004 I was idly sitting at the table of our RV one afternoon, painting my boiler suit when the door opened and this guy popped his head in to say hello. He's from LA and goes by the name of Cool. A good 6ft, stacked, black. Personable.

So we're shooting the breeze and about 10 mins in to the convo he just flops his cock out.

And I say, I don't think you should do that.

And he says, "Why not?"

And I reply, Because you'll make me horny...

And then he lunged for me.

I fucked him really fast in the back of the RV, terrified that one of my camp mates would come in.

Nice arse. :p
 

DiamondJoe

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Ha! From the same trip... So I was travelling around California on my own for about a month before Burning Man and I was in Santa Somewhere, sunny hot day on Main Street and I ducked into a bar for a beer and got chatting to some guy at the counter.

I had been asking around about Burning Man; What happens there? What to do? What to expect? &c and more often than not I'd get a rather coy, "Oh, you'll see!" but this man, who was in his 40s I guess, had been and was very chatty about it... "Oh it's great, go here, see that, do the other blah blah..." and we're getting along just and... I can't remember how it came up exactly... but hot tubs came into the convo.

And you have to remember I was 24, from England and the mere thought of spending casual time in a small pool in the back garden is anathema and I was like, What's a hot tub?

"You don't know what a hot tub is??!"

No, says I.

"Oh, well, my friend has a guest house 2 blocks from here with a hot tub, come and have a look."

I am at a loose end and just agree, Yeah, why not?

So we go to the guest house.

He changes and gets in. Of course i hadn't factored a swim into my outfit and just kinda shirked off my clothes and got in naked.

So we're continuing the conversation and 5 mins in he makes a move, which was probably a surprise to no-one but myself however he was completely off my radar - I wasn't expecting this!

And I panicked.

I jumped out, saying I needed the toilet or something lame, ran into the guest house, through the kitchen and into the dining room where mom, pop and their two kids were eating dinner but stopped open mouthed as a naked Englishman in sun glasses with hands clapped over his modesty asked in a very small voice where the toilet was before crawling off to die of several types of embarrassment.

:scream:
 

DiamondJoe

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While I think of it. There was that Welsh chap - I'll spare you the tedious details of how we eventually met, fuck, it was like getting space ships to dock - anyway, when I finally got him into bed I was taken aback to find he was completely depiliated, done that morning especially for me.

I was like, Uh, thanks... you... shouldn't have...?

It was weird. Was on a par with the time I insulted that American feminist into bed and she had hairy legs.