Been in the fitness industry for 10 years now, and although the said muscular body is attractive, I have had sex and dated that kind of men but absolutely no emotional connection from them at all. They are absolute douchebags because of their ego. Not hot.
Although I would like everything in a package (e.g. ego, dignity, self-esteem, fitness, tall, dark, handsome, hung, girthy, muscular, alpha male, caring, nurturing, father figure perhaps, and a slight bit of toxic masculinity), I'm currently at that stage of life where I can't wait for that man anymore. That's why I've looked past their physical attributes because it was doing a lot of harm to my mental health and affected the way I've seen men throughout my whole life. I'm currently dating a chubby guy who is offering all of those except the physical attributes. Still hot though, he's tall, has great personality and is great in bed too. He's not your average porn star bod, and definitely does not have a porn star cock, but he has a lot to offer emotionally. He's wanting to be healthier and is currently doing everything he can. There has been progress too. But more importantly, as a chubby man, he's made sex a passionate affair. I'd gladly submit to him anytime because he's invested himself into supporting me and taking care of me.
But also the thought of how porn has made us perceive what's attractive is very problematic too, especially how everyone on Grindr (the reality) is just interested in just 2 things: cock and bod. Forget about how men are ill treating themselves because they don't look like your typical Greek god or some Adonis model, but a man should always get the same respect as everyone else regardless of how they look because you will never know what they have to offer and what you might probably need from them some day in your life. I think that is how we need to approach and embrace masculinity as well.
Great bod, does not mean great men and I can tell you from experience that my boyfriend is a firefighter in our local fire department. Despite how unfit he and his mates looks right now, they are actually a strong bunch of gods who have done many things and had success all the time. I know that man and many men who work with him at the same fire station who don't look anywhere near like calendar boys with cute puppies, have saved so many people's lives from accidents, disasters and even individuals who can't take this life anymore. [If you know what I mean.]
Just a side note here, I am not embracing the "obesity is okay" movement. But I'm just trying to tell you that a man's physical attribute does not alter or mould the way men function or behave in the real world. I often hear the sentiments of how fat guys are just lazy, depressed and don't give a fuck about everything. But on the flip side, I have seen obese men take up challenges, made changes, and have seen more confidence with great mental health than the average sportsman or athlete and bodybuilder in the gym.
But hey, if you're just looking for a fantasy world and just want some form of escapism, then go for it. But I am very confident that that will not translate into something long term. I know I was that boy once upon a time and I found out the hard way that it isn't sustainable at all because of how the mentality of the fitness world assumes what's right and what's wrong. That is unfortunately very influential thanks to social media. But maturity did change my perspective of how I see men and this relationship has taught me a lot.
Love you to bits, David.
