MX | Brosexual Thread

[Brosexual]

Valued bros,

I'm launching this thread here because I believe it's the perfect space to discuss brosexuality and reclaiming our sexuality in a more nuanced way.

I've been navigating the digital landscape since before TikTok and Instagram dominated our screens, back when YouTube trends were the talk of the town. Those were perhaps simpler times, where the internet served not just as entertainment but as a more profound avenue for personal growth and exploring interests.

But here's something I've been pondering: What happened to truly exploring the person we are deeply fond of? Why has the act of intimacy become so mechanical? In today's world, where casual encounters are just a swipe away, have we lost the art of appreciating the person in front of us? I yearn for experiences where we watch our partner as if they're a masterpiece, where we read their body like poetry, where we connect not just physically but sensually with our touch.

Yes, engaging in casual hookups or sharing mutual pleasure with a bro is completely fine, and I advocate for the free exploration of our desires. However, there's a troubling trend where the endless swipe through sex-apps and consumption of pornographic media no longer values the individual but rather fixates on categories and algorithms that feed into our known preferences, often leaving us yearning for something more substantial. Yet due to the lifestyles of most, it is consumed like air is taken into our lungs.

A decade ago, I came out as gay to my family and friends. YouTube's MarkE Miller played a big role in shaping my views on identity and sensuality, and for that, I'm truuly grateful. But today, I find myself drifting from the mainstream gay identity. It feels like the community I knew has evolved into something less about personal connection and more about performance, especially for those of us who've grown up with the internet's influence.

I'm also being transparent here. I run accounts on Xwitter and OnlyFans (which I'll keep unnamed for now), where my focus isn't just on the act but on the storytelling, the tease, and the shared journey of pleasure and health. My aim is to use these platforms to explore sensuality beyond mere physicality, encouraging not just sexual satisfaction but a calm approach to well-being, including mental health, personal identity, and physical fitness.

My connection with the broader gay community is fading, and I'm seeking a space where we can communicate more humanely, where we can appreciate and understand each other beyond labels. For many, being 'gay' has become just a tagline, simplifying a complex identity into something mundane.

Let's use this thread to share what resonates with us. Post your thoughts, your content, your healthy practices. Let's redefine and explore what brosexuality means to each of us in a way that's respectful, deep, and meaningful.

Your bro, Ceu

 

[Christopher_James]

This is beyond me despite the very well explained post for some reason.

 

[Urien]

If you want me to really take this thread seriously, then divorce "bro" and "sexuality". Not only is it cringe, it associates the well documented and deep bond that is often shared between men with sex and romance - Which it more often does not include.

Attempting to "gayify" bro-ness and male connections is your first mistake. If I were to guess, it is because you are not completely ready to let go of your "gay identity", you just are sick of the poor brand image the "gay tagline" has garnered in recent years and are now proposing your own alternative tagline to make people feel better. I guess that is easier than attempting to do the work needed to clean up the "gay" brand.

Yes. You said you want no labels, but proceed to offer one yourself and casually impose it on the topic.

I'll say something good now. If this is a genuine attempt to grow and expand your awareness of yourself, then this is a decent first step. It can move you towards relieving yourself of a "gay identity" and come to terms with the more probably reality that there are no "gay men" - that phrase is just shorthand for "men who only have sexual relations with men". It describes a behavioral preference or pattern, not who you actually are. So who are you beyond the cocks and glory holes?

I said "genuine" btw because I can be quite cynical and my spidey sense is tingling ITT. It reminds me of some gay men who became "entrepreneurs" selling confused gay men, who have become disillusioned with the community, lifestyle tips and guides on how to be a man (i.e. a non-mainstream gay man). This is not good.

 

[Urien]

But here's something I've been pondering: What happened to truly exploring the person we are deeply fond of? Why has the act of intimacy become so mechanical? In today's world, where casual encounters are just a swipe away, have we lost the art of appreciating the person in front of us? I yearn for experiences where we watch our partner as if they're a masterpiece, where we read their body like poetry, where we connect not just physically but sensually with our touch.

Oh and this part, it sounds like poetry and not sustainable. You want your partner to feel like a masterpiece, that is equal parts romantic and insane. Lots of pressure and expectations. This rhetoric needs to be sober if you want to get to the truth.

I digress. If what you are actually interested in is instead deeper connections with other gay men, more sensual and communicative, then heterosexual women figured it out a long time ago. Monogamy, and don't fuck on the first date. It's not perfect, but it's the best we got so far to deal with the male animal. Because gay or straight, men are the same at the core.

 

[Jjsurp99]

Gay men are lost me. Into their lust. There's never any deep connection. You can only do that with a woman

 

[vincfair]

Hey Ceu,

I’m with you on this, and I completely understand where you’re coming from. I am a man who likes men, but I also really like being a man. It’s something that’s often overlooked in our current narratives, but I find great strength in that identity.

The concept of bromance is powerful. There’s something raw and genuine that often feels more honest and vibrant than the typical straight relationships. I’m bi, so I’ve experienced both sides, and I believe that relationships between men tend to have a clarity that’s rare elsewhere.

That said, I’ve also been growing increasingly frustrated with the direction the mainstream gay community is heading. In my opinion, it feels like we’re being pulled backward, undoing decades of progress. The scene is often driven by superficial performance and the loudest voices. I see and work daily with so many incredible, accomplished individuals—scientists, businesspeople, academics, etc—who are gay but want nothing to do with the current scene.

I’m on your side.

P.S.: There is nothing wrong with the term "bro" if you are feeling it. It is certainly a lot better than terms like "queen", "slay", "yas", "it's giving" and whatever else they want to feed down your throat.

 

[Urien]

There is nothing wrong with the term "bro" if you are feeling it. It is certainly a lot better than terms like "queen", "slay", "yas", "it's giving" and whatever else they want to feed down your throat.

You started off right here, then you went downhill with the whole "certainly a lot better". There is nothing certain about it.

These terms or their progenitors have existed LONG before Gay Culture ever made it to the mainstream. They are part of gay culture. I don't know how old you are, but you will find variations of these words in every gay subculture around the world.

Many disparate languages practiced by homosexuals for one reason or another converge and create these terms or their equivalent. "Queen", "slay", and "yas", are just words but the meaning and feeling they try to convey is the closest thing to "gay culture" we have.

Take a bunch of homos on an island and erase their memory of such terms, and trust that in a few years they will develop words to those effects.

You can bro all you want. You can avoid the colorful side of being gay, I know I do. But you are not better for it. This is just a mode of living. It's either for you or not.

The subtle shade in your text is not lost on me.

"I see and work daily with so many incredible, accomplished individuals—scientists, businesspeople, academics, etc"

The implication here is evident. You think yourself superior (delusional). If this is how you choose to deal with things you disagree with, boy you're gonna have bigger problems in your future.

 

[Jjsurp99]

Hey Ceu,

I’m with you on this, and I completely understand where you’re coming from. I am a man who likes men, but I also really like being a man. It’s something that’s often overlooked in our current narratives, but I find great strength in that identity.

The concept of bromance is powerful. There’s something raw and genuine that often feels more honest and vibrant than the typical straight relationships. I’m bi, so I’ve experienced both sides, and I believe that relationships between men tend to have a clarity that’s rare elsewhere.

That said, I’ve also been growing increasingly frustrated with the direction the mainstream gay community is heading. In my opinion, it feels like we’re being pulled backward, undoing decades of progress. The scene is often driven by superficial performance and the loudest voices. I see and work daily with so many incredible, accomplished individuals—scientists, businesspeople, academics, etc—who are gay but want nothing to do with the current scene.

I’m on your side.

P.S.: There is nothing wrong with the term "bro" if you are feeling it. It is certainly a lot better than terms like "queen", "slay", "yas", "it's giving" and whatever else they want to feed down your throat.

It true bro I agree

 

[jayponn10]

You started off right here, then you went downhill with the whole "certainly a lot better". There is nothing certain about it.

These terms or their progenitors have existed LONG before Gay Culture ever made it to the mainstream. They are part of gay culture. I don't know how old you are, but you will find variations of these words in every gay subculture around the world.

Many disparate languages practiced by homosexuals for one reason or another converge and create these terms or their equivalent. "Queen", "slay", and "yas", are just words but the meaning and feeling they try to convey is the closest thing to "gay culture" we have.

Take a bunch of homos on an island and erase their memory of such terms, and trust that in a few years they will develop words to those effects.

You can bro all you want. You can avoid the colorful side of being gay, I know I do. But you are not better for it. This is just a mode of living. It's either for you or not.

The subtle shade in your text is not lost on me.

"I see and work daily with so many incredible, accomplished individuals—scientists, businesspeople, academics, etc"

The implication here is evident. You think yourself superior (delusional). If this is how you choose to deal with things you disagree with, boy you're gonna have bigger problems in your future.

Thanks for these posts. Honestly, I'm a young gay man and I'm still trying to find myself and my identity. I thought this gay "brosexual" subculture that I believed has arised from the "bator bro" gooner culture related to me. Probably because of my disinterest in the current "mainstream" gay culture of yass queen and slay, which I think this was partly due to my self homophobia.

But after a lot of thinking and really trying to figure out what masculinity means to me, I find that this "brosexual" is just one of the way certain gay guys have coped with being disenfranchised from male spaces growing up. It tries to give a sense of community while also not turning away from the fact that we are gay, albeit in a certain narrative that doesn't explicitly say so. You would even see some men who say they are "bator bros" but are "totally straight" and act very "bro". I've met actual straight men who would literally not do anything even remotely gay let alone being "brosexual". The only difference is that the men who have a community of other men and those who don't so they are trying to create one (in an unhealthy, sex induced way).

I see this is because of how intimacy between male friends has become so skewed in the current spaces. Looking from the gay community, two men being platonically intimate are fetishized and imagined being secret gay lovers. Gay men also really really want physical intimacy from straight guys but with the intent of fetishizing it or "trying to convert him"; look, I've been guilty of that too but this is no different from straight men trying to be rapey with women and we need to do better. From the straight community, there's a sense that doing something homoerotic makes you "sus" or something you should be ashamed because it makes you gay. Today in online spaces, there's homoerotic humor that's not necessarily bad, but it shames men for being intimate with other men or treats it like a joke. I really hate this because gayifying platonic male intimacy from both communities I think leads to this problem where most men feel lonely and yearn for real connection with other men.

I really resonate with a lot of what you said, I guess I was never able to put my thoughts into words or hear it from another person. I also think monogamy is one of the best solutions we have for our gay community; with less promiscuity, less superficial interactions for a quick nut and more platonic, deep connections.

 

[Urien]

I'm a young gay man

Whenever I meet young gay men, I always hope that they figure out what being gay means to them on their own. That was our way before the mainstream adopted us. Older homos understood that gay men were born without a map or a blue print, it was lonely but it was also liberating. You can forge yourself and your path. The very nature of our ostracization from society created the pressure to propel us into beings of greater minds and experience more often than not.

With our newfound acceptance, this pressure valve is fading away, and something that made us special along with it is fading as well. You see it out in the clubs or pride, the cookie cutter homos are increasing. Someone else is defining you for you.

This is not to say that this acceptance and safety is a bad thing, my god it is not. It's wonderful! Recently, I saw a video on tiktok of flamboyant and scantily clad femme boys walking the streets of London - The very same streets that 20-25 years ago I would've been hatecrimed in - and normies are all smiles in the video. "Slay queen! Yas!" they cheer them on. It brought tears to my eyes knowing that in a single lifetime this happened.

Now I am seeing the reverse happen. Some bullshit "bro culture" not born out of a love for masculinity and brotherhood, but out of a hate for femininity and flamboyance. It has infected straight male culture and has began poisoning gay culture as well. And yes it is bullshit, because when push comes to shove these "bros" have less balls than a drag queen who is ironically more man than they will ever be. They are just making this shit up as they go along, when far greater men and GAY men even have already shared their wisdom about this subject a longtime ago.

So please don't let anyone define what being gay means. At its core, it is JUST a sexual preference for the same sex. That's it. But the feelings and opportunities and life that it begets is so special. It's yours to take and define. It also not mutually exclusive to being a man. On the contrary being a man is fundamental to being gay. It's all yours, manhood, gay culture, bro culture, mano sphere, masculinity, femininity, it's ALL yours to claim and recreate.

If being a "man" means simply "not being feminine" then these men are not men. They are just boys.

But I can forgive them for it. We as gay people have not had enough time to put our thoughts and experiences about what it means to be a man and being gay into words. Or how about how to properly interact with straight people now that we are out in the open as to not rub anyone the wrong way (i.e. the rapey vibes you speak of). This level of "truth setting" takes time, and we can only hope that we can do it before our chance for something lasting is squandered by people after a quick buck.

tldr;

One can be "bro" and/or "sis". There are no rules about being gay. The point is to be aware of this fact and not shoot yourself in the foot out of a place of self-loathing.

I think Straight men can learn something from us if they soften their hearts a bit, and if we can manage to get over lusting after them, we are their natural best friends and an integral harmonizer between them and straight women. This is the kind of coexistence we should strive towards IMO, and it requires us to be accepted as men but also hold space for our androgynous psyche.

 

[Jjsurp99]

Whenever I meet young gay men, I always hope that they figure out what being gay means to them on their own. That was our way before the mainstream adopted us. Older homos understood that gay men were born without a map or a blue print, it was lonely but it was also liberating. You can forge yourself and your path. The very nature of our ostracization from society created the pressure to propel us into beings of greater minds and experience more often than not.

With our newfound acceptance, this pressure valve is fading away, and something that made us special along with it is fading as well. You see it out in the clubs or pride, the cookie cutter homos are increasing. Someone else is defining you for you.

This is not to say that this acceptance and safety is a bad thing, my god it is not. It's wonderful! Recently, I saw a video on tiktok of flamboyant and scantily clad femme boys walking the streets of London - The very same streets that 20-25 years ago I would've been hatecrimed in - and normies are all smiles in the video. "Slay queen! Yas!" they cheer them on. It brought tears to my eyes knowing that in a single lifetime this happened.

Now I am seeing the reverse happen. Some bullshit "bro culture" not born out of a love for masculinity and brotherhood, but out of a hate for femininity and flamboyance. It has infected straight male culture and has began poisoning gay culture as well. And yes it is bullshit, because when push comes to shove these "bros" have less balls than a drag queen who is ironically more man than they will ever be. They are just making this shit up as they go along, when far greater men and GAY men even have already shared their wisdom about this subject a longtime ago.

So please don't let anyone define what being gay means. At its core, it is JUST a sexual preference for the same sex. That's it. But the feelings and opportunities and life that it begets is so special. It's yours to take and define. It also not mutually exclusive to being a man. On the contrary being a man is fundamental to being gay. It's all yours, manhood, gay culture, bro culture, mano sphere, masculinity, femininity, it's ALL yours to claim and recreate.

If being a "man" means simply "not being feminine" then these men are not men. They are just boys.

But I can forgive them for it. We as gay people have not had enough time to put our thoughts and experiences about what it means to be a man and being gay into words. Or how about how to properly interact with straight people now that we are out in the open as to not rub anyone the wrong way (i.e. the rapey vibes you speak of). This level of "truth setting" takes time, and we can only hope that we can do it before our chance for something lasting is squandered by people after a quick buck.

tldr;

One can be "bro" and/or "sis". There are no rules about being gay. The point is to be aware of this fact and not shoot yourself in the foot out of a place of self-loathing.

I think Straight men can learn something from us if they soften their hearts a bit, and if we can manage to get over lusting after them, we are their natural best friends and an integral harmonizer between them and straight women. This is the kind of coexistence we should strive towards IMO, and it requires us to be accepted as men but also hold space for our androgynous psyche.

Being a man is not about feminine though

 

[Urien]

Being a man is not about feminine though

Unsure if trolling or stupid.

There are masculine men and feminine men, and there are men that can evoke either at will as life necessitates. Neither truly reduce or increase one's manhood. The masculine and feminine as interpreted and wielded by men is different than the masculine and feminine wielded by women. Both of them are just creative energies that we give form/realize with our creations, thoughts, and behaviors.

Being a man however is a point of view on yourself, and your relationship to other men and women your human "tribe". It precedes masculinity and femininity. You could say it's a biological and social "code" to abide by. I wouldn't call it a "gender role" because modern feminists and trans activists have mutilated that word.

By your logic, you cannot be a man and be a drag queen, but history has shown us that this is not true. Manhood and the brotherhood between men is real. It's more rare to see actualized in individualistic societies like those common in the Western world (especially cities) which bury its narrative, but it's still there because it is innate.

If you play team sports to any degree of seriousness, you will know what I am talking about because it emerges from you like an old friend. Referring to this as "masculine" is incorrect, because that word refers to specific qualities or characteristics in behavior or appearance. "Manhood" refers to an intangible bond between men and men, and men and women that guides you.

This is the only thing I might agree with OP about. It's important to nurture this manhood, as a gay man especially because connecting with our kind (men) in ways that are beyond sexuality is very fulfilling.

You don't necessarily need to do with this straight men, but doing it with straight men is easier as you are less likely to turn this into a sex thing.

So calling this as some shit like "brosexual" is just plain bullshit and shows a lack of understanding.

 

[Jjsurp99]

Unsure if trolling or stupid.

There are masculine men and feminine men, and there are men that can evoke either at will as life necessitates. Neither truly reduce or increase one's manhood. The masculine and feminine as interpreted and wielded by men is different than the masculine and feminine wielded by women. Both of them are just creative energies that we give form/realize with our creations, thoughts, and behaviors.

Being a man however is a point of view on yourself, and your relationship to other men and women your human "tribe". It precedes masculinity and femininity. You could say it's a biological and social "code" to abide by. I wouldn't call it a "gender role" because modern feminists and trans activists have mutilated that word.

By your logic, you cannot be a man and be a drag queen, but history has shown us that this is not true. Manhood and the brotherhood between men is real. It's more rare to see actualized in individualistic societies like those common in the Western world (especially cities) which bury its narrative, but it's still there because it is innate.

If you play team sports to any degree of seriousness, you will know what I am talking about because it emerges from you like an old friend. Referring to this as "masculine" is incorrect, because that word refers to specific qualities or characteristics in behavior or appearance. "Manhood" refers to an intangible bond between men and men, and men and women that guides you.

This is the only thing I might agree with OP about. It's important to nurture this manhood, as a gay man especially because connecting with our kind (men) in ways that are beyond sexuality is very fulfilling.

You don't necessarily need to do with this straight men, but doing it with straight men is easier as you are less likely to turn this into a sex thing.

So calling this as some shit like "brosexual" is just plain bullshit and shows a lack of understanding.

Cool bro

 

[Urien]

Stupid it is.

 

[Jjsurp99]

Stupid it is.

Cool bro