i don't like to stereotype people nor myself with identity but for the sake of this thread, i'll make an exception. i don't consider myself a nice guy or a bad boy at all; i would consider myself a respectful guy who's aware of myself.
i think before i go further, allow me to define a "nice guy" and a "bad boy" from my point of view as i think these two terms are thrown around too much and everyone has their own opinion of it from both men and women.
a "nice guy" in my opinion is a man who is willing to say or do whatever to please women. he's willing to put her wants, needs, pleasure, and whatever more about her in front of anything of his. he will do anything she asks of him without hesitation and will most likely never challenge her. he will also, more than likely, always be keeping score as in always depositing "IOUs" into his mental bank of what he does for her in knowing that if he continues to be nice to her then she will in-turn reciprocate. what that reciprocation is, is different for each nice guy. this does not make him a good or bad person, it's just who he is.
a "bad boy" in my opinion is a man who is probably a rebel to the social norm of wherever he is geographically located. something about this man is different than all the men in the area whether it be a good thing or a bad thing; mostly bad as in the term "bad boy". he will most likely be doing his own thing with no regard for others and most likely also won't compromise or give-in without a good fight. his demeanor will be more of the "i don't care" attitude and possibly a bit narcissistic as well. with this type of attitude, he also be more willing to approach all the women he meets and gives zero shits if they blow him off. lastly, he doesn't keep any types of score as he's taking what he wants and not giving as much, if any at all. this does not make him a good or bad person, it's just who he is.
with both those definitions laid out, i want to add one more thing. the descriptions above have no affect on either type of men's confidence, manhood, stature, social status, and/or emotional intelligence. it's more so of how they behave around women when it counts. the nice guy could be strong, confident, and excellent at everything but when it comes to women, he's always the "nice guy"; vice-versa for the "bad boy". the "bad boy" can be a total sweetheart to family and friends but when it comes to potential female mates, he's always the "bad boy"... get it? good.
i think the key to being a "nice guy" or "bad boy" successfully is to find a partner who is looking for such during that moment in time. if you're a nice guy and approach a women who is into bad boys, she will look at you as a "weak" man and be totally turned off by you while a women who wants a man to pamper her or be at her every whim will certainly want this nice guy as he will play directly into her hands (and that's what she wants). whether her motives are good or bad is up in the air. the problems always arise when a nice guy meets the bad-boy-woman or the bad boy meets the nice-guy-woman and then both men continue to pursue the women when they should just realize the situation and move on to the next target. if this isn't done then all we have left is a bunch of men and women arguing all day and night as neither gender will back down and will continue to argue their points until they win but the fact is that they won't win. a "nice guy" will never convince a bad-boy-woman that he is the better choice when there is no "better" choice here; it's more of preference. add ego and butt-hurt-feelings into the mix and you are left with nothing but angry voices going back and forth til no end.
it is no secret that for the most part, women love men who are confident. i believe it's ingrained into their biology. you can see it in nature. you can see it in the caveman days. women will choose the strong, confident male to mate with and continue the species. i won't get into the nitty-gritty but you can just look it up. of course, the feminist and women's right movement has given rise to strong, independent women (and that's a good thing in my opinion) but has now created a big gap between men and women as far as social interactions go in the area of courtship and relationships. that line in our gender roles are now even more grayed out than ever before leaving the new generation of both men and women to try and navigate through this foggy part of life. they're literally stuck in quagmire, in my opinion.
i was the "nice guy" in my days. i thought that if i would do whatever she wanted and please her, i would in-turn get what i want from her. some women have preyed on that and kept me at arm's reach at all times with me never realizing it until it was too late. why was i this nice guy? well, i didn't want to be the "bad boy" because to me that was "not being nice" and i was taught to be a "nice" person so a nice person should be a nice guy, right?... sadly, i was wrong for many years.
i was the "bad boy" too... it was during some of my darker days when i didn't give a shit. i would look at women as nothing more than objects and because of that, i was able to treat them aggressively and just "take" what i wanted and so be it. to my surpise, this method worked very, very well... yes, women responded to this everywhere i went. i was a no-compromise guy that was fun to be around. i gave zero shits about pleasing her needs, it was about me and me. if she wasn't into the situation, i just moved on, if she wanted to play, i played... it was easy. i was going to turn left at the fork and if she was coming then great, if not then see ya later. it was emotionally taxing too as sometimes i would get attached knowing that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. it was hard and easy all the time.
after those two phases, i came to the realization that life is too short and i was just going to be "me". after years of self-discovery and becoming very self-aware of who i was and then taking the time to fully understand women (and men), i came to the conclusion that i don't need a woman in my life and i quit chasing. all i needed was to be the best that i could be and find what brings joy to my life and focus on that. if these 2 things could be accomplished then women would naturally show up (and they did). once i reached a certain point in my life where excellence could be externally seen and there was joy internally, i had become something else and neither was a nice guy or a bad boy at all. i was my own self and was super-confortable in who i was and was simply "me" with no more pretending or putting up a fake front. what you see is what you get and that's that. this attitude is also very attractive to women, oddly enough. the good thing was that what you saw was very good as i had grown into so much more.
i guess the best place to be, in my humble opinion, is somewhere in between both a nice guy and a bad boy. be that guy who can be nice to any women he meets whenever he wants but also confident enough to not compromise when it's not going to work out in his favor with good intentions. be that strong, confident man who knows what he wants and not afraid to go get it. know that there's plenty of women to go around and she's not the last fish in the ocean. be the man that reeks of excellence and capability. ask any women and they will confirm that a confident man who is capable is sexy.
in closing, i want to also add that don't misunderstand. i'm not advocating any guy to be the nice guy and let women walk all over you nor am i advocating any guys to be the bad boy and treat women like shit. what i am advocating is for all guys out there to take some time off and do a self-discovery so that you can come back into the dating pool full or excellence and confidence with zero compromise in what you want so that you actually get WHAT YOU WANT and then you can treat that woman with all the love and respect that every women should receive from a loving and caring man.
of course, it's gonna be hard. just get ready. life is hard, women are hard, everything is a pain but it's worth it. nothing good in life comes without a lot of hard work. focus on yourself, learn who you are, learn about women, go at it with good intentions, and reep the rewards of it.
wow, that was a lot. if u actually read to the end then that means some of this resonates with you. please comment some feedback, i'm always looking to learn more from other people's experiences and opinions. never stop growing and learning!
