Not Your Everyday Size Question.

[deleted1547822]

Esteemed ladies of LPSG,

First, here's a good article for you to add to your list of links when the usual size question comes up. Maybe it's the first thing guys should read, 'cause science and stuff...

calcSD - Preferences

One thing that struck me though, was this comment:

"Popular western culture, media, and porn industries have been pushing the "bigger is better" notion for so long that big dicks have become normalized almost to the complete exclusion of anything else. To the point that I'd be surprised if it didn't cause many women to internalize that they should prefer larger than they actually prefer."

The first sentence is obvious, but the second hadn't occurred to me. It's no secret that societal pressure creates "expectations". For women, appearance is one of the biggies; but do you think the bolded portion is the case too? Would it be different across age/experience, or maybe by generation?

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[deleted848353]

A similar question has been asked before

 

[deleted1547822]

Really? I can find plenty of "do you wimmenzes really love the big D" sort of question, and some that relate to BBC; but not anything on this.

In this data graphic, a study by Dixon, et al rates "attractiveness" of a male figure depicted with a progressively larger flaccid penis. For China and Cameroon, it's a typical bell curve. For the U.S. and New Zealand, the right end of the bell remains relatively high.

That makes me wonder if it's societal expectation (or maybe just first-world "problems"). Aside from porn, western culture has things like "Sex In The City", and Samantha's escapades.

Note that I'm not asking what actual preferences are, because those vary by individual. I'm curious if you think society is influencing what you should prefer, just as it seems to insist that you should have big eyelashes, plump lips, a thin waist, etc... (or whatever fashion* come up with).

*my wife blames gay men for unreasonable fashion demands placed on women, but that's another rabbit hole...

 

[1277255]

No, society doesn't influence what I want to fuck me at night. I know my body, what my body likes and can take. Society doesn't dictate my choices for my own body.

Also, no disrespect meant , but your wife has problems if she thinks gay men are responsible for fashion demands placed on women. I can *almost* see her train of thought regarding perhaps a small number of designers being gay men, but if it goes beyond that, she needs help.

 

[deleted1547822]

It was actually a gay friend of hers that works in the fashion industry that introduced the idea to her.
She doesn’t need help with anything, thanks.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

And we don’t need to be mansplained about why and what we should prefer.

thanks for playing.

 

[Holly Doors]

Esteemed ladies of LPSG,

First, here's a good article for you to add to your list of links when the usual size question comes up. Maybe it's the first thing guys should read, 'cause science and stuff...

calcSD - Preferences

One thing that struck me though, was this comment:

"Popular western culture, media, and porn industries have been pushing the "bigger is better" notion for so long that big dicks have become normalized almost to the complete exclusion of anything else. To the point that I'd be surprised if it didn't cause many women to internalize that they should prefer larger than they actually prefer."

The first sentence is obvious, but the second hadn't occurred to me. It's no secret that societal pressure creates "expectations". For women, appearance is one of the biggies; but do you think the bolded portion is the case too? Would it be different across age/experience, or maybe by generation?

Thanks for your thoughts.

Well as far as I can see it's just another nonsense peen study which has probably zero bearing on reality, how is the data collected, by what mechanism, who are the people asked, do they represent society as a whole, one particular age group or area of residence and what means are used to allow for discrepancies of ignorance of measurement or people plucking figures from the air? Why is the study using a metricised version of imperial measurement, it's the study of penis size supposedly, so fine use inches altho that cuts out a vast proportion of the world but at least use inches in fractions, I'm sure anyone using anything they have to measure a penis would be using a tape or ruler with fractional inches and wouldn't go to the effort of metricising said fractions anyway? I would think any actual survey of penis size to a degree of accuracy this is trying to achieve would choose to use millimetres if it was worth it's salt merely for the purposes of simplicity and accuracy, this fact alone indicates it's a nonsense imo. Apart from that surely any actual survey that uses the terminology 'dick' in its published format can't be taken seriously anyway!

Apart from that I first had to get over the part where you referred to the 'bolded portion' alright I'm a little hungover but this stumped me as to what you meant until I realised you were referring to the paragraph highlighted in bold Lol, that led me to question if 'Bolded' is actually a word which as far as I can tell it isn't looking at the Cambridge and Oxford dictionaries however I apologise if it does exist in American English, it really stumped me for a few minutes tho.
As far as whether women are internalised about penis size due to pressure or misinformation from porn and media I'd think that would be a question better aimed at a younger generation of women today, imo women like myself 'of a certain age' who are sexually active and experienced already know very well what they like from a lover penis size and shape included, will we ever have an accurate study of penis size? I very much doubt it because it would have to be a proper scientific medical study for which as far as I can see there is no reason for and as far as a study of preferences goes you'll never get a reliable survey because there would be a limited number of women willing to take part and may not be giving accurate information in the first place, that's my thruppence worth anyway hunni X

 

[deleted1547822]

Thanks Holly for your usual and consistent reasonable nature.

Re the "dick study". You guys know better than anyone the insecurity men in today's society have with size, and their misplaced importance of it. I've been researching it for a psychology paper as a subset of body dysmorphia. The recent addition of CalcSD's "preferences" I think is helpful for the average guy, although it will do nothing for the "oh woe was me and my little pecker" types. Because it's a reasonable explanation for men, using scientific studies, I thought it might be helpful for this subforum as well as an addition to your FAQ.

The "bolded" portion struck me because we're constantly inundated by marketing. It's probably the most effective use of practical psychology. Smoke Marlboro's and you'll be as handsome and masculine as the cowboy figure in the image. This fragrance will make you irresistible to men. We're under a constant barrage of being told what will make us "better", if we only buy the product. It's not just limited to marketing though. Now we're being told how to think, by media ranging from biased news sources to sitcom writers adding their prejudices to scripts.

I thought the comment on women's "preferences" being influenced by media was interesting, and one more example of societal forces trying to shape viewpoints. I don't think this sort of manipulation is a good thing, generally; and although the impact on men is clear I don't have the feminine frame of reference to form an opinion on how (or if) it affects women. The difference in data among Chinese women and American women, for example, shows circumstantially that something is influencing viewpoints. You got my point precisely in wondering if it is something that is more likely to affect women of a certain age and/or generation.

 

[deleted1547822]

And we don’t need to be mansplained about why and what we should prefer.

thanks for playing.

Since when is asking for a female viewpoint "mansplaining"?

I thought you in particular would think the possibility society wrongly trying to influence women's attitudes something worth consideration or discussion.

 

[Holly Doors]

Thanks Holly for your usual and consistent reasonable nature.

Re the "dick study". You guys know better than anyone the insecurity men in today's society have with size, and their misplaced importance of it. I've been researching it for a psychology paper as a subset of body dysmorphia. The recent addition of CalcSD's "preferences" I think is helpful for the average guy, although it will do nothing for the "oh woe was me and my little pecker" types. Because it's a reasonable explanation for men, using scientific studies, I thought it might be helpful for this subforum as well as an addition to your FAQ.

The "bolded" portion struck me because we're constantly inundated by marketing. It's probably the most effective use of practical psychology. Smoke Marlboro's and you'll be as handsome and masculine as the cowboy figure in the image. This fragrance will make you irresistible to men. We're under a constant barrage of being told what will make us "better", if we only buy the product. It's not just limited to marketing though. Now we're being told how to think, by media ranging from biased news sources to sitcom writers adding their prejudices to scripts.

I thought the comment on women's "preferences" being influenced by media was interesting, and one more example of societal forces trying to shape viewpoints. I don't think this sort of manipulation is a good thing, generally; and although the impact on men is clear I don't have the feminine frame of reference to form an opinion on how (or if) it affects women. The difference in data among Chinese women and American women, for example, shows circumstantially that something is influencing viewpoints. You got my point precisely in wondering if it is something that is more likely to affect women of a certain age and/or generation.

Hiya hunni, well I have no involvement with the creation of the subforum or FAQ's I'm afraid as I'm not a admin or whatever you need to be here to maintain the site.

I didn't actually know who calcSD were until now, I guess I assumed that it was some kinda legit research establishment but a quick Google shows that it's just a random website created by a couple of guys on reddit which as far as I know, correct me if I'm wrong is just another site for guys to show off their genitals. My point being I find it difficult to have a great deal of faith in something that's publishing data when it's not a legitimate audited research company, surely it could be complete fiction?

Yes I'm totally with you about the use of marketing, I'm not easily influenced but of course these things are orchestrated to plant a subconscious seed into the many for the purposes of profit, however I'm one of the stubborn ones the majority of the time and tend to search out what I like rather than what I'm told is the best and I'd choose JPS superkings over Marlboro any day your reference to size being pushed by media or script writers I'd say is more to do with being edgy and pushing boundaries to grab people's attention rather than some kinda conspiracy to make people think they should prefer a certain size of penis, breasts, height or whatever, Sex sells and it's an easy tool to use.

I'd say that any influence on preferences would certainly be more prevalent in the younger generation, the ones who have and are growing up with social media, the generation that streams their tv and films which I still struggle to get my head around. Ok I'm sounding like a dinosaur but sure I know I can stream any tv show or film whenever I wanted but it still doesn't sit right with me, there's something lost without planning my time around a particular scheduled tv program or film that I want to watch, part of the anticipation, romance and experience is lost being able to have all my favourite cakes and eat them whenever I want Lol xx

 

[deleted1547822]

Thanks for the reply Holly. The CalcSD guys basically took all the penis size studies in the medical literature and consolidated it. The site owner often posts on Reddit’s “smalldickproblems” and whatnot, explaining that what they think is an issue really isn’t.

There’s another “averagedickproblems” subreddit (and a “bigdickproblems”). I find it concerning that so many men of today’s generation are confused about what’s normal. Here, you guys get variations of “am I big enough”. There, you can see just how many adolescent boys also have concerns. That was never really an issue for my generation. John Holmes was perceived as an anomaly. Today porn (and its abundant internet availability) presents enormous sizes as normal, and what women secretly desire. As a father, it breaks my heart to see a young man worried about his first sexual experience based on a perception of size (which is usually perfectly normal). There are endless variations of “I’m 6”, will I disappoint my girlfriend”. CalcSD works to dispel those myths, and this recent “preferences” addition is worthwhile. Women have young males in their lives too, whether sons, nephews, godchildren etc... and the link might be a useful tool if they’re asked sexual questions by those young men. I love how the article ends:

How do guys tend to feel about their own penis? Let's be honest, chances are:
You along with the vast majority of guys don't actually want the ideal penis size which is most likely to be preferred by potential partners. Even if you did have that size you'd just think it's too small and you'd be insecure that it isn't bigger. Realistically if you were actually concerned about being better in bed, you'd be on some other site learning about how to be a better lover, instead you want to know how the size of your dick compares to other guys because you've internalized a fantasy which measures your value as a person based on the size of your dick.

Anyway... The notion that society might also be influencing young women’s expectations/perceptions is horrible, and something I hadn’t considered; hence the question here. Although there are the cynical Eeyores who treat every thread with contempt, there is also an abundance of intelligent women here with a diverse range of age, experience and wisdom.

 

[TinyPrincess]

To the point that I'd be surprised if it didn't cause many women to internalize that they should prefer larger than they actually prefer."

Answered half way through this...

 

[deleted1547822]

Answered half way through this...

It took me a minute, but if I get your point then that’s what I mean with societal expectations for women. In this case, boob size. If I missed the point... sorry.

I dated a woman in my early 20’s who was very small. Like between training bra and A. She desperately wanted a boob job (which she got 10 years or so later). She got a degree in dance at Harvard, and was turned down for a job dancing in Las Vegas show. Her height was probably the main reason, but she gave up her dream and taught jazz dancing instead.

I thought (and told her when we dated) that I loved her just the way she was, and her perky attributes were actually part of her overall person that made her so attractive.

Body dysmorphia affects lots of people in lots of ways, and originates from lots of sources. Society/media telling people what they’re “supposed to prefer” (usually with intent to profit), is morally criminal.

 

[TinyPrincess]

Answered half way through this...

My bad - completely wrong link... Sorry....

 

[deleted1547822]

Excellent monologue.