NPE's photo stories

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Going “Spunking”​

Hey Dave, you came!

Not yet, hehe!

Um…I don’t think you should be wearing those clothes.

Huh? Oh! Right to it then!

Whoa dude! What are you doing?

What do you mean what am I doing? You said we are going spunking!

I said SPELUNKING!

Oh. What’s that?

*groan*

 

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A Knight’s Tale of Standards and Practices

The sacred regulations tell of the time of obscenity. When profligates brought forth black blood from the depths of hell! And with it set fire to the heavens so that the globe would grow warm such that their nakedness could be uncovered and their disgrace could be seen!
And Gaia looked upon the earth and beheld that indecent flesh had corrupted her climate. And She brought a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all indecent flesh!

The Mother chose us Feudal Climate Censors, the FCC to judge the indecent and smite them with the three-pronged gavel of censoring! You have donned the Garb of Warning and with this hammer I Knight thee Sir Cumcision!

Now take thine hammer and arise Sir Knight of Standards and Practices! The profligates who do not heed The Warning shall bleed under thine hammer!

Ah, what a nice warm day in January! Feels great to commune with nature in a natural state!

Heed my Warning, profligate or die in your disrobed disgrace!

Holy crap, what the actual?!!!

You can’t block with your cock! I’m gonna get medieval on your buttocks!

AAAAAH!

 

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Rubber Baby Gasbuggy Bumper​

Fracking is used to release natural gas tied up in sandstone deposits. It’s terrible for the environment in its current form. But if you think this story is ridiculous, remember that on December 10, 1967, United States Atomic Energy Commission went fracking with a 29 kiloton yield nuclear device in Carson National Forest. The detonation formed a 335 foot hill above the blast zone where this placard currently rests. Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should!

Good! The annual Project Gasbuggy radiation check is negative once aga…what in the nuclear frack?!!!

Hey! You there! Citizen! Stop!

Huh? What?

Are you digging up ordnance?

Me? No, I just saw this funny glowing prairie dog and this was in it’s hole!

This is a radioactive contamination zone!

Oh no!

You need to strip off those contaminated clothes and let me scan you for contamination!

Put your hands on the pipe and spread ’em!

Aw, dude, for real?

Okay you’re clean, but turn around. I’ll need photographs to fully document this incident in my report!

Aw, weak, dude I’m naked!

Kids these days don’t know their ass from a radioactive prairie dog hole in the ground! I blame the legal marijuana!

 

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A Hostel Take-offer!​

“I’ve never stayed in a hostel before, but hotel rooms are so expensive in Moab!
Man I hope this dorm room isn’t full of freaks and weirdos or just a bunch of dicks!”

“Well, here goes nothing!”

“Hello new roomie!”

“OMG! I was so worried, but I’m going to fit right in!”

 

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Boba Fettish: Bounty Hunt for Jabba the Slut​

Greef Karga: Got a bounty for you, Boba Fettish. Looks like another of Jabba the Slut’s toys got sick of the buggering and decided to bugger off into the Dune Sea.

Boba Fettish: Good for him, let the poor bastard go.

Greef Karga: Look I don’t much like it either, but if you want your ship to fly again you need credits and the Slut pays.

Boba Fettish: *sigh* all right, I’m on it.

Boba Fettish: Target tracked to a small cave in the Dune Sea. You in there…Fluffy?

Don’t resist and I don’t shoot. Stang, “Fluffy,” maybe I should just shoot the poor bastard.

Sith spawn! I knew you had some balls for defying Jabba the Slut, but I didn’t think I’d be seeing them!

Sigh, all right you poor bastard, two for the wrists, one for the choobie! You know the drill.

Once we get back to the palace, we’ll be the cock of the walk! Heh heh. Sorry.

 

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Star Date Part 1/2​

Written and directed by the Star of this date, The Lovely Braindrops! It’s always been a fantasy of mine to do a CFNM shoot, it was a dream come true! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Also, for the WW prompt, Memory Alpha is the library planet in Star Trek! Nerd Alert!

Stardate 010192021:
It’s now been one year since the new order federation leadership took power. Their new moral standards they imposed upon taking power are taking their toll on the station crew.
I myself have found my mental faculties diminished after the forced delete of my hololover program. Today the last of my pleasure devices finally ran out of power and the replication restrictions disallow the replacing of it.
I will be forced to build my own, in secret. If I am not successful I fear I shall go mad…or sacrifice myself to the luststruck Klingon Haar, who is known for killing his lovers at the climax of his passions…maybe not such a bad way to go…? No, I mustn’t!
Data: Your nightly service, Chief Science Officer.

Ugh, I wish I could get serviced, Data.
Ma’am?
A nice big Cock would really hit the spot right now.

As you wish Ma’am, I shall service you with the Cock Cola.
Oh dear Data, you mean so well! If only you really could service me how I wish to be serviced, but you don’t have the…equipment.

 

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Or…could you? Computer, bring up the new human-machine interface biograft cybernetics research files from Memory Alpha!

Data: Ma’am you have installed new hardware on me?
Yes, my Data, with your new flesh drive, you can service me how I want…NEED to be serviced: as a woman!

My new unit requires a firmware update.
Hmm, so I see. Come over to my workstation and I’ll make your wares very firm indeed!

Oh yes, that is more like it! Your flesh drive appears to be fully operational…though I think a test is in order!

The flesh drive is designated as a human-machine interface. What is my flesh drive’s function, Ma’am?
Oh you will be using your flesh drive to interface with me, my dear Data!

I do not understand, Ma’am.
*giggles* Sex, Data! I mean sex!
Sex, Ma’am? The flesh drive does not have the capability of reproduction.
Sex does not have to be just for reproduction my dear, Data! It can be recreational or…as a bond of intimacy between two sentient beings.

I’m afraid I do not know how to do “sex” Ma’am.
Oh don’t worry dear Data, I will teach you. Come to my bed, you have so much to learn!

 

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Cyberspunk 2069 Issue #1: Noober Levels-up!​

I’m very excited to debut issue #1 of my live comic book series! I’m finally getting to the point of creating the content I’ve dreamed of! I still have skills to learn and refine, but I’m very happy with how this turned out and I hope you enjoy!

 

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Man-Meat Locker: No Exit No Save​

Get in the hole, skivvy!

On your knees and hands behind your head! No exit, no save for you, don’t even think about it!

The Matriarchs will pay me three ingots for unmingled man-meat like you, but you cause me jam and I’ll be more than happy to sell you to the Gore-mands as cook-meat for an ingot and take my two worth out of your screams!

A bunker ball buster at the abandoned military ordinance testing site observation bunker at Bisbee Hill in the Medicine Bow-Routt National Forest.

 

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Strip Poke-him: Raw Dog’s Initiation​

Well I’m down to my last garment! You’re not tipping Grinder my cards, are you Raw Dog? Heh, heh!

No? I’d say you’re screwing me, Grinder, but I suspect I’ll be the one cumming out on top, heh heh!

Yep! One pair vs a straight flush! Woop woop! That means pants on the ground for me! You look confused, Raw Dog! My chips may be down like my pants, but by Hound rules, that just means I’m getting it up! Not much for the straight myself, anyway. I prefer a nice intimate pair and I’m always the one dealing! Heh, heh!

Lesson number one about the baddest raiders in the wastes, initiate: the Atom Hounds always win. Just ask your former pal on the ground!

If you want to becum an Atom Hound, you can have nothing to lose. And that includes your virginity!
There’s a reason we call initiates Raw Dogs! But you can still win, I mean, hell, you might like it! Can’t say I’ll be too gentle, though, heh heh!