Open Relationship after getting Married

[bmwz4hotguy]

My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we got engaged. Both of us have enjoyed a semi-open relationship (meaning 3 ways with each other and the occasional tryst on the side... no emotions ever allowed to be involved with the other people).

Now that we're going to be married later this year (well, Civil Union'd), I'm curious as to what any of your thoughts and/or experiences are with keeping the relationship open AFTER getting married?

I personally think that it could work staying open as I have a feeling that itch will want to be scratched, and I'd rather it be scratched with permission than behind someone's back. I don't know what he thinks (haven't brought it up yet) but I suspect he thinks the same.

But I'm wondering what other guys' advice is? I never before have been in an open relationship until this one (and I was the instigator for it), so I have little experience with these waters, other than when I would judge other people negatively for doing it. (They're right about walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging them!)

Thoughts?

 

[B_Nicodemous]

Talk to your partner.

I doubt he will be against it off hand.

Please be honest with him. You are no longer just dating, or engaged. You are at a place where shit thst may have flown before won't anymore.

 

[bmwz4hotguy]

thanks guys! Definitely like keeping open communication with him. We love the play together when it happens... and we've both had our fun solo. I just want to make sure we have grounds laid down moving forward so no one gets hurt (either way... meaning closing it or keeping it open). I'm not a jealous type and he's not either. And we both just want to be with each other emotionally. We know not to let the physical merge into emotional.

It's all new grounds for me! (plus, I'm 40, he's 31... I remember how horny I was at 31!)

 

[D_BenJo_Ahanakokolele]

well you've been doing it till now and he knows so nothing will change. Nothing should change. Ask him, he might or might now agree. but it'll be silly if he doesn't. anyways congrats!

 

[D_Phil_S_Steen]

My husband and I have hooked up with other guys together before, but never on the side. I think as long as we're together, there's no risk of emotions getting involved or any jealousy. In fact, it kind of brings us closer together since it something we do together, as many other activities we do together will help us bond. I would not be happy with him meeting up with someone on the side, just as I don't meet up with others on the side, as then there would be a feeling that he's trying to get something out of the other person that I can't offer, and I just wouldn't be there to know what went down. Plus, we both love each other so I don't think either of us would even want to hook up separately.

We're definitely open to hooking up with guys together in the future, but we haven't done it in a long time and we've found most experiences end up not being that great. Only a few have been hot. At the end of the day, he's still the best sex I've ever had, and really it should be that way.

 

[travis7]

It's worked out good for ya the way you have it, shouldn't change..
Know from my past and from friends, keep a open perspective and communication

 

[bmwz4hotguy]

Thanks gents!!

 

[eddie2870]

If you are living together now and the situation is working for you, I don't see why having getting married would change it.

I think you should talk to him to make sure he is still on the same page as you and does not expect things to change once you get married (highly doubtful, but why be surprised later)

I have been in a closed relationship for three years and we are engaged. We have talked about playing together, and are open to it, but have not done it yet. I agree with another poster, just keep the lines of communication open, make mutal decisions and everything should be ok.

Congratulations!

 

[flyeva02]

Thanks for sharing. My bf and I have been together nearly 4 years and have the same set up as you and your partner. For some reason, I always thought there was something wrong with it, I guess because its a little unconventional.
Glad to see someone has the same set up and that it is working.

 

[Vastian]

I'd think it's a discussion between you two. If it's working out currently then I'd assume the paper wouldn't change that.

Personally when I date someone I go through the whole ordeal of making it clear if you want to...(normally I'd say step out, but I don't really think that phrase applies here) then it's ok. I admit I might get a bit disgruntled if it was the same guy again and again....or if he looked better than me lol. But I give the option to go and scratch an itch now and then. As long as there is open communication and honesty. I would not venture out myself often at all, but I would reserve the same allowances for myself of the need arised.


But since you have a working system already I don't think you need to worry