Orgasm-ability

[Prof_X]

I think of ones "orgasm-ability" as the average number of orgasms that you would or could have in one session and maybe something like average orgasm strength. Like most men, I peaked young - lets say 18 for this forum - and could have 3-4 in an hour every day. Now mid 40s I can still have 2 but I need 10-20 min rest in between to refresh and I can't have 2 orgasms two days in a row. My O's feel equally strong/good as at age 18. My wife is the opposite. When we met she could only have <1 per week. At 30 it was 0-2 per week and ~1 per session and now with mid-40s it is ~2 per session 2x per week and her orgasms are much stronger. I would like to think that I am better in bed - maybe my increased patience made a difference?? But I think that the real change happened as my wife learned to relax and allow herself to let go of control - she thinks so too. She also thinks that a body massage pre-sex is terribly important.

I would be interested to hear how other people's orgasm-ability changed throughout life and your thoughts about why. I posted in "ask a woman" because (1) most men follow a declining pattern, which is boring and depressing and (2) ask a woman is where the most thoughtful answers are likely to originate.

 

[LaFemme]

Personally, I think when I was young, I was too self-conscious and didn’t know my body as well. It’s something I grew into. I think that might be true for a lot of women. It takes maturity to get out of your head and really give yourself over to pleasure. To not give a shit what you look like, and to demand what you really want. That can take time to happen.

 

[TinyPrincess]

Agree with LaFemme - think most women feel like that.

Personally, I've always found it easy. I think a lot of it stems from the sex I had with my first BF. We were very young but both had the same sense for making sex harmless fun.

As LeFemme mention self-consciousness matters a lot. I don't think it has bothered me much at any stage - I have always known what I wanted and how to reach it - but there's a difference in the way I achieve it depending of the personality of the guy I'm with. If he's enjoying sex and having fun, I can relax more and enjoy it more. If he's tense or insecure about sex and his own abilities, I have to do more of the work, leaving less room for pure enjoyment.

 

[EllieP]

When I remarried I gave up a lot of things, among those inhibitions. Like LaFemme said, when I was younger I was a tad self conscious and had what I call "polite sex." I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone, but I just wanted to make sure things were fair and square, and I usually came in second, no pun intended.

Today, get out of my way. I'm going to O and you're going to help, speaking to my husband, of course.

I had help reaching this stage though. I had coaching, and it was from a man of all people! LOL! I have never had a sexual encounter with another person that was focused just on me! And he did it.

At my age, 49, I'm not multi-orgasmic and never have been, but I can certainly stand up to four a day! That's my record, and it's been met a few times recently with my partner on fun weekends.

By myself, one every three or four days will keep me sane.

 

[Mittimer]

I don't know that I cared as much about orgasm when I was younger, but the ability to do so was still there. Just not with any sort of frequency.

Now I can orgasm every day multiple times a day, half a dozen times a day if it goes that long or my bits don't become sore from the beautiful abuse. Generally, I get too sensitive to go on long before my mental self wants me to stop. I've always been able to have multiple orgasms per session though I can't really say that they've gotten more as I've gotten older.

At least one or two every other day either by myself or with my guy leaves me pretty damn happy though.

 

[Prof_X]

Thoughtful, thoughtful, thoughtful, and thoughtful
Thank you