Recollections I Real Stories from my past - exploration with straight friends and coming up

[jacoams]

The stories that follow in this thread will tell the accounts of my upbringing, sexual awakening and exploration. They are all true stories to which I have only modify the names (to protect the privacy of each person that is part of them) and to the best of any abilities I utilize the written word to express a moment in my life along with the emotion that I experienced then - not the outcome that resulted from them looking back but the inexperienced and curious eyes and lens through which I perceived them.

I am 35yr now, had (and have) a very fulfilled life embracing l my strengths and weaknesses. The stories here told are the ones that slowly shaped a big part of who I am today.

Some stories are more substantial and extreme, some minor and playful. They all have a part in the puzzle of my upbringing.

Through recollecting the stories I got to uncover memories that laid dormant, trying with accuracy to place them in time and space, in my mind as well as facing the full judgment of those which I feel shame and guilt, which I had once faced to overcome, and yet still feel sour to disclose. But I will refrain from changing any story, instead offer and expose my story naked as it was, independent of any posterior resolve.

As you will find, my high libido and sexual drive pushed both the most exciting and horny stories as well as the traumatic experiences where my my curiosity went too far and turned against me. Through and through I wouldn’t change any of the cards I’ve been dealt with. Both the good and the bad where necessary to craft the path ahead and lead to where I am now, with no regrets , only acceptance and gratitude.

 

[jacoams]

I’ll do my best trying to keep the stories chronologically but some are harder to remember with precision and some I remember as I’m writing, so will be added as I go.

Many of my stories will involve the same friends with whom I had experiences over the years, so I’ll keep consistency with their names as many times the stories on their own will hold less weight than they do as part of the larger story around them.

The first story I will share involves my friend Bart. I known him and was his close friends since we started school. Every since he was growing up I became attracted to him, but as we were both “straight”, I just kept my thoughts to myself and tried to get as many opportunities as possible to see more of him and fantasize so I would then jerk off.

My main fixation and horniness, even though I’m top and masculine, is with cocks.

One day, Bart and I were in the swimming pool in my house one summer. While we were swimming and hanging out I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see his cock through the wet shorts. His bulge was so big and beautiful that it was as hard for me to look away. I believed there was an underlying pact of complicity, where I would look more than it should be normal but not an amount that would make him confront our straight friendship, so he enjoyed my adoration and it let it show with a slightly grown flaccid dick for my admiration. After a while, my horniness was far too high, to the point I was getting the feeling of my horniness to dangerous to me controlled and could betray my behavior and go too far, so I decided that the smart choice was to alleviate my libido. So I excused myself and went to the toilet, where I jerked off thunking of his cock and how it would be hard, in my hand. His cock soft was bigger than mine. He had a very long and thick dick, around 15cm soft. I came a lot with the image of his bulge in my mind and once that I ejaculated I was ready to go back and continue our day. When I went back to him at the garden, I see him looking at me with a smile a bit awkward but friendly. ‘Did you just go to jerk off?’ He asked me to my dismay. ‘Why would think that?’ I asked back embarrassed letting shame take over my emotions. ‘Well… because you’re hard…’ he said innocently pointing at my crotch where I realized I had still a tent. I didn’t even think that my body would take longer to remove the traces of my libido than my mind. This was the first time that I actively and consciously distinguished that there was delay in communication or alignment between the libido of my mind and my body. It wouldn’t be the last time my body failed my mind. But more of that to come…

Back to Bart in the pool, I didn’t try to pretend or try to find my way out it, he had caught me. ‘Hehe, ‘ I said nervous, ‘yes, I got al of a sudden horny… you know how it is’ I concluded in a playful way, to not cancel or discourage the little unspoken teasing game we constantly were part of when hanging out together.

 

[jacoams]

The next story involves another straight friend I knew since we were very young and went to school together and with whom I had many experiences. Hi name is Nick.

It was a spring day and we were having gym classes outdoors. During our break we started talking about the anime shows we were watching (I.e. Dragon Ball, etc) and from there we starting talking about Hentai, which is pornographic manga artwork. I told him I had one and he was excited to see it. Before we had to go back from the break, he said he needed to pee, so we went together to the restrooms. We stood next to each other in the urinal and started peeing while we were talking. The sexual tension was undeniable. As we were chatting, he turned his body slightly towards my side so I had clear angle and could see his cock as he peed. I could tell that he didn’t mind me looking and was enjoying the showing off. ‘Wow, it’s quite big!’ I said. He smiled and made a subtle move further to my side which I capitalized. I reached out and held his soft cock in my hand while he was peeing casually.

That was my first test to see if he would be interested. And he passed, as he didn’t say anything and acted as if nothing. We didn’t speak about it and wen’t back to Gym class.

In my head I could only think and fantasize about the world of possibilities that had just been opened…