Scaring Women

Q

QuietConfidence

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Maybe odd or dumb question, but out of boredom and curiosity:

Despite being a 6’2, 215lbs male, I am very light on my feet and overall just a quiet person. This often puts me in the position as to where when I’m going for a run, walking and approaching someone (behind or straight on) or just waiting for an elevator for example; I often times end up scaring the person(s), or see them change behavior and visibly become more timid or nervous.

I’m very cognizant of how threatening some of the situations can or may be and in turn try everything to either appear less threatening/ startling or avoid the situation as much as possible. Crossing the street, slowing my running / walking down to stay at a further distance, pulling out my phone and staring at it or looking away from the person to not acknowledge them at all, purposely making noise (jiggling keys) to let them know I’m approaching, or simply give them a reasonable distance while making eye contact with a polite hello.

All in all, I understand this ‘problem’ is a lot better to have than to be the individual that is scared and unsure about every male stranger. I also understand some of these scenarios are kind of silly and just a matter of being startled with no harm. But I was wondering, as women who are rightfully wary of men/ strangers, how can I/ men appear less threatening and make women feel more safe around us?

The wording may not be the best, but I always feel so bad in those situations, especially being a fairly timid and sensitive person myself.
 

Holly Doors

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I don't get scared but I do get defensive if I think I've been sneaked up on, stems from growing up in a very rough area where you need to be on your toes, able to defend yourself and fight. If you're innocently running just give people space, I understand that's not always possible. Put drawing pins in the soles of your trainers so people can hear you?
 
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