Your name is Casey. You have a straight friend - let's call him Julian. You have a neglectful, cheating, scamming, alcoholic boyfriend, called Scott (you're Scott's virtual sugar daddy-turned-real life boyfriend, who's 27; you're 28. He says he's not ready for marriage, which angers you, because you see him doing what he wants, but saying he misses you, when we all know the true reason is, his narcissism won't let him depend on you the way you need a man to also give you the love that men will never express to anyone, except themselves - mistress, boyfriend, or not). The only time he loves you, is when he's making love with you and then gets up to leave the house - he's on the road again, but he doesn't care about the tears you cry; you know men are not hard-wired to be emotional; men are hard-wired to care about their needs being met; Scott's needs are cheating, traveling to a foreign country from Los Angeles every single day, and the gym. We don't see you - his patient, obedient boyfriend - on his To-Do list any day, because when you run and leave him, that is when he does the one thing you need in a man - he chases you to beg you to stay. When Scott cheated, you stopped crying, and you wanted power, so you now get off to men begging to marry you, men begging to give you gifts and money to rescue you from abuse, and men driving multiple blocks around your area, when you deny them true love. This happened to your female friends, so why don't "the gays" treat your unique heart with the marriage vows you need a man to confess for you? If you belong to him, he'll sweep you off your feet, you say - sadly, Scott is making improvements in his growth and maturity, but it feels like he doesn't want to spend time with you while making those changes, because he's self-absorbed and, as he told you, "I NEED control!" So, you hatch a plan, you get creative: Treat him like Supernanny treats anyone: In order for you to stay, you say, you need him to stop neglecting the one you claim to love; stop cheating with women (Did I mention Scott's DL and cheated while you were living at a roach motel, because Scott - Mr. Millionaire, worth $2 million - refuses to get you away from your abusive mother?). But, carry on. Let Scott take cake in his face. Men need to be put in their place, you say. Scott's going to know the real alpha, you say.
But Scott's still refusing to spend time with you - so, you're scrolling through OnlyFans, trying to recreate the virtual-sugar-baby-becomes-your-real-life boyfriend pipeline, but it did not go the way you planned.
Meet Julian.
Julian is "the one who got away", only because he's straight. You both love every single interest the other does - he's your soulmate, and there's only one problem.... he won't meet you in person, which also angers you.
It seems when perfect men who share personality traits of a healthy partner you should have - refuse your quality time, this triggers you, since your boyfriend is the first man who made you act out of character to prove nobody wins against you - not even your boyfriend and his mistress-turned-girlfriend-turned-ex. The one he lied about and blamed you for asking about - twice - and later took on vacations to Australia, Hawaii, Dubai, Saudi Arabia, the Maldives (Africa), and many, many places he never went with you. 7 months later, he's no longer cheating, but you know he's still being self-absorbed, saying he doesn't have time for you - but he wants you to move to California. He refuses to visit you. So you plan a nude photoshoot - your first-ever photoshoot and first time in the entertainment industry - to make money, network with the photographers, and go nude to flex your independence and self-care, to give yourself the in-person love Julian - your soulmate who ripped himself away from you - and Scott refuse to give to you.
Julian is an ally, and has said he's open to experimenting. You have a boyfriend who refuses to do anything with you - and when you give multiple ultimatums he ignores you...... until you dump him for 1 month, he does the whole "I miss you babe, you know you're on my mind every single day, right?" You take him back, and he does compromise and give you what you want. He starts to honor your concerns, and it seems like he's learned his lesson...... and 3 weeks later, he ignores you again.
Enter Julian, the anti-Scott. Julian has been your close friend for 2 months. Unlike Scott, Julian says he's here to listen to you and make you feel better - and he does everything he says he'll do for you! If only you could have a gay version of Julian in your life, you'd be married by now..... but Scott would rather use his ego to go to the gym, like all gym rats do (the gym is not your scene, because you're skinny and out of shape for the last 3 years, and exercise is too expensive for your impoverished bank account; if only Scott would contribute financially, you'd be safe.... physically and financially, but why do men love manipulating you with false promises?).
However, you talk to Julian on social media. Because you want to hang out with Julian as a friend (since he's made it clear Julian's a hypocrite, but based on information you heard and will never say in your conversations), you ask Julian if you could meet, and he says, "To be honest, I don't do meet ups." There are so many meetup appearances he's done across the country - you already know it's due to him manipulating you: just like everyone who failed you, your entire life, and Julian and Scott are no exception.
You're devastated at Julian using your attraction to him, and him using your wallet to improve his financial life; he's using your money to travel to Paris, and you're..... numb from the emotions of your Scott's ego and gaslighting - you need a friend who supports you - and Julian is that friend (who has the qualities you want in a boyfriend.... the bf who claims he loves you and then travels 7 days a week and then talks to you for 5 minutes at home, before leaving again), but Julian is your *virtual* boyfriend, behind a computer screen - much like Phillip DeFranco and his "cheat on his wife with a cam girl in my office fetish" - which makes you feel emasculated (you're both men). You feel taken advantage of, guilt tripped multiple times, used and manipulated by Julian. Until forgiving him, 1 month later. No, he's not gay, but he'll be your sugar baby, as long as - as he told you this morning, "It's more for me, if Scott keeps ignoring you" with a smiling emoji to join the fun. Scott wants to leave you high and dry, to be in his house and plan whatever you want to do - while finding a way to support yourself. Julian is an angel to you, he treats you the way you need to be treated - if he was one of the girls, would he be the Sir Laurence Olivier to your Dame Vivien Leigh? Yes, but this world is cruel - just like Julian is, for constantly bringing up his preferential snack in the bedroom (which you wish was you - that will never happen, and you know it).
And despite you knowing about Julian being open to experimenting (which he has stated on video), he tells you, "Maybe I don't want to meet up with you because I'm straight?"
Despite Julian making jokes, alluding to him being bisexual - you already see through him: he used your attraction to him to financially abuse your bank account; just like he uses "the gays", because he's from the South, and you know how Southerners get down.
It takes everything in your power not to yell - because Julian being so resistant and rude, reminds you of your boyfriend being the self-centered control freak but only giving you attention when you ghost him and dump him without explanation, which drove his brother - your crazy ex - to the point of cyberstalking you (he admits to being controlling, but ever since he cheated on you, you enjoy emasculating him and making demands of him, to make him support you as revenge, for him not being around - he refused to help you out your abusive situation, he cheated on you, a few weeks after you said cheating was a trigger for you - so now, since he won't help you, you get off on making him powerless, because he made you this way).
The last time Julian said he was straight and refuses to meet you in person, is because he's your virtual OnlyFans mistress because he's straight. Since he keeps announcing his sexuality, you devise a plan to make Julian shut up - you ask if Julian can be your "virtual mistress" and you say, every time he brings up his sexuality, "I'll (virtually) dominate you, if you do...."
He says, "I don't mind that", which leads to you asking Julian, "What are you comfortable with?"
Knowing Julian hates giving you quality time off camera and face to face because he's straight deeply affects you still, but you plan on crying in private, which - you were taught by "the elders" and their homophobia - is how "real men" behave.
You break Julian down; your boyfriend's geographically not around to give you attention - he travels 7 days a week, when all you want, at 28 years old, is for him to settle down with you, and stop being Mr. Eligible Bachelor, and constantly blowing you off with, "I can't" and "I don't have time" - Enter: Casey's (virtual) sexual fantasy - and real life crush, he can't have, named Julian - despite having 4 boyfriends, Julian is the one he's after. Julian is his soulmate, but
Question - Should I add more to the story?
I'd love to know what you guys think.
But Scott's still refusing to spend time with you - so, you're scrolling through OnlyFans, trying to recreate the virtual-sugar-baby-becomes-your-real-life boyfriend pipeline, but it did not go the way you planned.
Meet Julian.
Julian is "the one who got away", only because he's straight. You both love every single interest the other does - he's your soulmate, and there's only one problem.... he won't meet you in person, which also angers you.
It seems when perfect men who share personality traits of a healthy partner you should have - refuse your quality time, this triggers you, since your boyfriend is the first man who made you act out of character to prove nobody wins against you - not even your boyfriend and his mistress-turned-girlfriend-turned-ex. The one he lied about and blamed you for asking about - twice - and later took on vacations to Australia, Hawaii, Dubai, Saudi Arabia, the Maldives (Africa), and many, many places he never went with you. 7 months later, he's no longer cheating, but you know he's still being self-absorbed, saying he doesn't have time for you - but he wants you to move to California. He refuses to visit you. So you plan a nude photoshoot - your first-ever photoshoot and first time in the entertainment industry - to make money, network with the photographers, and go nude to flex your independence and self-care, to give yourself the in-person love Julian - your soulmate who ripped himself away from you - and Scott refuse to give to you.
Julian is an ally, and has said he's open to experimenting. You have a boyfriend who refuses to do anything with you - and when you give multiple ultimatums he ignores you...... until you dump him for 1 month, he does the whole "I miss you babe, you know you're on my mind every single day, right?" You take him back, and he does compromise and give you what you want. He starts to honor your concerns, and it seems like he's learned his lesson...... and 3 weeks later, he ignores you again.
Enter Julian, the anti-Scott. Julian has been your close friend for 2 months. Unlike Scott, Julian says he's here to listen to you and make you feel better - and he does everything he says he'll do for you! If only you could have a gay version of Julian in your life, you'd be married by now..... but Scott would rather use his ego to go to the gym, like all gym rats do (the gym is not your scene, because you're skinny and out of shape for the last 3 years, and exercise is too expensive for your impoverished bank account; if only Scott would contribute financially, you'd be safe.... physically and financially, but why do men love manipulating you with false promises?).
However, you talk to Julian on social media. Because you want to hang out with Julian as a friend (since he's made it clear Julian's a hypocrite, but based on information you heard and will never say in your conversations), you ask Julian if you could meet, and he says, "To be honest, I don't do meet ups." There are so many meetup appearances he's done across the country - you already know it's due to him manipulating you: just like everyone who failed you, your entire life, and Julian and Scott are no exception.
You're devastated at Julian using your attraction to him, and him using your wallet to improve his financial life; he's using your money to travel to Paris, and you're..... numb from the emotions of your Scott's ego and gaslighting - you need a friend who supports you - and Julian is that friend (who has the qualities you want in a boyfriend.... the bf who claims he loves you and then travels 7 days a week and then talks to you for 5 minutes at home, before leaving again), but Julian is your *virtual* boyfriend, behind a computer screen - much like Phillip DeFranco and his "cheat on his wife with a cam girl in my office fetish" - which makes you feel emasculated (you're both men). You feel taken advantage of, guilt tripped multiple times, used and manipulated by Julian. Until forgiving him, 1 month later. No, he's not gay, but he'll be your sugar baby, as long as - as he told you this morning, "It's more for me, if Scott keeps ignoring you" with a smiling emoji to join the fun. Scott wants to leave you high and dry, to be in his house and plan whatever you want to do - while finding a way to support yourself. Julian is an angel to you, he treats you the way you need to be treated - if he was one of the girls, would he be the Sir Laurence Olivier to your Dame Vivien Leigh? Yes, but this world is cruel - just like Julian is, for constantly bringing up his preferential snack in the bedroom (which you wish was you - that will never happen, and you know it).
And despite you knowing about Julian being open to experimenting (which he has stated on video), he tells you, "Maybe I don't want to meet up with you because I'm straight?"
Despite Julian making jokes, alluding to him being bisexual - you already see through him: he used your attraction to him to financially abuse your bank account; just like he uses "the gays", because he's from the South, and you know how Southerners get down.
It takes everything in your power not to yell - because Julian being so resistant and rude, reminds you of your boyfriend being the self-centered control freak but only giving you attention when you ghost him and dump him without explanation, which drove his brother - your crazy ex - to the point of cyberstalking you (he admits to being controlling, but ever since he cheated on you, you enjoy emasculating him and making demands of him, to make him support you as revenge, for him not being around - he refused to help you out your abusive situation, he cheated on you, a few weeks after you said cheating was a trigger for you - so now, since he won't help you, you get off on making him powerless, because he made you this way).
The last time Julian said he was straight and refuses to meet you in person, is because he's your virtual OnlyFans mistress because he's straight. Since he keeps announcing his sexuality, you devise a plan to make Julian shut up - you ask if Julian can be your "virtual mistress" and you say, every time he brings up his sexuality, "I'll (virtually) dominate you, if you do...."
He says, "I don't mind that", which leads to you asking Julian, "What are you comfortable with?"
Knowing Julian hates giving you quality time off camera and face to face because he's straight deeply affects you still, but you plan on crying in private, which - you were taught by "the elders" and their homophobia - is how "real men" behave.
You break Julian down; your boyfriend's geographically not around to give you attention - he travels 7 days a week, when all you want, at 28 years old, is for him to settle down with you, and stop being Mr. Eligible Bachelor, and constantly blowing you off with, "I can't" and "I don't have time" - Enter: Casey's (virtual) sexual fantasy - and real life crush, he can't have, named Julian - despite having 4 boyfriends, Julian is the one he's after. Julian is his soulmate, but
Question - Should I add more to the story?
I'd love to know what you guys think.
