SILVER FOX
Chapter 24: The Ultimate Recognition (Part 2)
BANG
It smelt like men in the room.
Horny men.
Beasts.
BANG
Nick grabbed my neck. I asked him to choke me.
BANG
More thrusts, more pleasure, the man knew how to work his pelvis.
How could he be so good at it when he had so little experience?
BANG
A strange thought crossed my mind.
What if I was not only the first guy he had ever fucked? But the first person altogether?
Had Nick ever had a girlfriend?
BANG
Nick leaned over to kiss me while he was shoving his cock even deeper inside me, ramming my prostate, ploughing me like a rag doll.
BANG
I wanted more. I think I begged for more. I was a slut.
I was his.
BANG
I told him that.
We can hear me say it in the video. In the middle of the sloppy raunchy make-out. Loud and clear.
"I'm yours, Nick."
BANG
He did not reply.
BANG
Instead, he came inside of me, his tongue in my mouth.
"Aaaaaargh."
I felt his warm juice pouring into my hole. It was like a Christian baptism. I was holding Nick's back, my hands sliding on his sweaty bare skin.
We were making one.
My own cock exploded and I finally let myself experience the full force of my orgasm.
I was cumming both from my ass and from my dick.
Nick pulled back. He offered his deflating wet cock to my mouth.
In a bliss, I cleaned him up.
I swallowed everything until the very last droplet.
A minute later, it was all over and I was left there, on the couch. My asshole no longer virgin and coated with fresh sperm.
I was drained.
Someone said "CUT" but I spent a moment there, in my own universe. The one I thought I was sharing with Nick.
But was I really?
People moved around hastily to clean up the mess but I stayed put.
So much so that Logan came with some water, looking rather concerned.
"You're sure that you're okay?"
I took my time to answer.
"I'm great. I've never felt that good in fact."
I smiled like an idiot.
"Drink that."
"Log... I... I should have freed myself so much sooner in life."
Logan stared at my naked body and then, he kissed my forehead gently.
"It's never too late to be yourself. You're the ultimate proof of that."
This was supposed to be about sex, money, business. This was supposed to be about a viral video but it had become so much more than that.
It took me a while to come back to Earth after the scene.
*
Carlos' studio had all commodities to relax after the shooting: multiple showers, a lounging area, and most importantly, some snacks.
I caught Nick after a long shower, he was eating a banana in the lobby as he was about to leave.
In a room next door, Rico was fucking Carlos. I could hear the muffled sounds of people banging, - hard.
It was funny to see Nick like that.
He was in his shorts and tee-shirt, a backpack on his shoulders.
If I did not know that he had just fucked my brains out, he would have looked like any 20 years-old about to go to one of his college's classes.
"Oh, Bruce. I thought you were gone."
"Nah, I just took my time in the shower. I needed to collect myself."
"Yeah, the scene's been quite intense. You're all right?"
"Don't flatter yourself, dude. Your cock is not that big; it'd take more to break me."
He smiled faintly.
It was not his usual smirk though. I instantly felt that something was up.
"I... I kinda wanted to talk to you."
Yes.
Something was definitely up.
He was nervous and even a bit shaky.
"What is it, Nick? You're scaring me."
"Don't be scared. That's nothing. I mean, that's good news actually. I... It's just difficult to say. To you."
Millions of thoughts were battling inside my head.
My heart started beating fast in my chest.
The life-changing event.
Had he finally felt it too? Had everything happened just like it had for me? Nick had fucked my ass and then, he could no longer ignore his feelings!?
That must have been it!
"Just state your piece, Nick. I can hear anything and we can work through it, whatever it is."
His faint smile again.
I wanted to kiss him.
For the first time ever, I thought that I might love him. I know, strong fucking word.
"I'm gonna move out."
"What? From where?"
"The apartment. I... I've just told Logan. It's time for me to move on."
Remember my heart beating fast in my chest?
It dropped in my stomach.
"What do you mean, moving on? From what?"
Nick scratched his blond hair. With the lighting, they almost looked white.
I was confused.
He looked handsome.
"I think this was my last scene."
"This was your FIRST scene, dumbass!"
"No, I mean, my last x-rated content. At least, for a while. I... I've met someone and..."
I did not let him finish.
I should have let him talked but I was exploding inside.
Talk about a reverse orgasm...
"Who?"
"You know him, Matt."
"The Youtuber? I haven't even met him."
"It would have been weird if he had met you during a date. Don't you think?"
"Okay... So, you're dating someone. A guy."
"I am. You know that I'm gay, right?"
"I kinda have a feeling, yes. But who cares about labels? And what does it change anyway?!"
"I don't know, I just had to tell you. I don't want to make a big deal out of this. I hope we're cool."
"Cool?"
I snapped the freaking banana out of his hands.
To this day, I do not know why I did that. It was just an impulsive reaction.
I was mad and I had to make it known, somehow.
"What the fuck, Bruce? What is wrong with you?"
Nick looked properly surprised by my aggressive reaction.
"I'm sorry, okay."
"What's going on?"
"I... I just don't get it. You come up with the deal for this scene, you fuck me, you've been wanting to have this career forever, we're just making it and... Right when we're going somewhere, you just quit, and you quit... me?!"
"I quit you?"
"You know what I mean!"
"Listen, about the scene, man. I... I did it to close the chapter, like, I wanted to end with a bang. Didn't you wonder why I was paid as much as you when everybody had already seen me getting fucked in the ass?"
"I... I don't know, I thought... I don't know what I thought."
"You were shooting your first bottoming scene and I was shooting my last one, Bruce. That's why Carlos accepted the deal. He will market it like that."
I was floored.
Nothing was making sense until everything suddenly was.
Obviously, this 19 years-old fuckboy was not into me!
Obviously, he had been having fun exploring his sexuality.
Obviously, he had met a guy his own age and wanted to pursue something real.
"Wait. But you... Back in Kansas, in my apartment. I know Allan was no longer here when you asked me to eat your ass!"
Nick burst out laughing.
I get it.
I am not sure why I was even bringing that up.
It had probably something to do with the fact that I had kept that piece of information in my mind for so long, as a proof, or at the very least, as a clue, that Nick was genuinely into me.
Either way, it sounded ridiculous now.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly! The live-show you were doing when I came home and... Then, I joined in."
"Man, I was just horny. Did you... Did you think there was something happening between us?"
That was the worst of all.
The way he was looking at me as if I was crazy.
To be clear, he was not a jerk about it. It was his genuine confusion that hurt me the most. He was not trying to hurt me.
He had never seen things the way that I had.
I ignored his question and asked him a different one.
"Is Matt the one asking you to stop the FansVips?"
"No. He's very open-minded. Clearly, he had to be for us to date in the first place. But I don't want him to fuck with anyone else, so I... I think I should do the same. And we have projects together. He's very creative with building his social media."
"Wow."
I was speechless.
I picked up the banana off the floor and threw it in a trash.
"Bruce, are you mad?"
I fought back my tears.
I felt so angry, frustrated, but most of all, I felt terribly stupid.
I was supposed to be the older one, the more mature, the man with experience. And I was a fool.
I tried to get myself together before looking back at him.
"Of course not, why should I be mad? I'm sorry about my reaction. You... You should follow your... Well, your heart I guess."
"I really wanted to thank you though."
"For what?"
"For everything, Bruce. Without you, I'd still be stuck in the middle of nowhere. I came to L.A. thanks to you, I met Matt thanks to you, I don't have to worry about money for the next couple of years, all thanks to you."
I smiled at him.
I think it was sincere.
"I'm glad then. Thanks to you too, man."
Nick bit his lips.
"Should we... Should we hug?"
I chuckled.
"Sure. Come here."
It was the last time I ever touched Nick or smelled his hair.
After that, he said goodbye and left Carlos' studio. He was so casual.
I was left behind, a mess.
*
After my conversation with Nick, I needed some fresh air and I spent the rest of the day at the beach.
That was the beauty of living in Los Angeles.
The city was crazy but the ocean was always there, soothing.
I wondered how I got there.
I had never been attracted to a guy before.
Maybe that was why I did not put any of my guards up. I did not think it would be possible that I would get hurt.
I did.
Rather quickly, I let go of all anger against Nick.
I truly, genuinely, could not be mad at him.
He was a cocky arrogant brat but what he had done there just showed how much he had changed and how much he had grown.
I had been stupid; it was not his fault.
But what now?
*
*
I returned home very late, way past midnight, but Logan was still up, editing more videos for Rico in the living room.
"You're working way too much Log, go to sleep."
He looked above his laptop.
"I couldn't sleep."
"Insomnia?"
"I was a bit worried for you actually."
"Oh please, don't even start."
"I know you had feelings for him."
"You told him that?"
"No. I didn't say anything to Nick. Did you tell him?"
I collapsed on the couch.
"Of course, not. I'm not gonna stand between two twenty-something men who are seemingly falling in love. I'm not a total asshole."
Logan sighed.
"I'm sorry, dude."
"Don't be. Really. I just feel like a complete idiot."
Logan went to sit next to me.
We stayed silent for a while.
"The scene was great by the way. Carlos's gonna make a lot of money with that one, he was really happy with you. If you want to, you can shoot more scenes for his studio."
"Awesome..."
"Wanna hear some good news to cheer you up? I have a couple in my back pocket."
There was a hint of excitement in his voice which felt nice to hear.
"I'm listening."
"Man, something crazy happened today. You're not ready for this."
I straightened up.
"God. What now?"
I was expecting anything at this point.
A smile grew on Logan's face.
"Bruce, I've got a call earlier. Someone from the X-Rated Content Awards."
"And?"
"You've got the award, man. They're naming you Male Newcomer of the Year, meaning you're the most promising talent to emerge this year."
"What?!"
"Yes. Like worldwide. You won! It's the first time someone above 30 gets this accolade by the way."
"I... I won?! How was I even nominated?"
"Their committee picked someone for this category. And this year, they picked you!"
I stood up, my mind reeling.
This had to mean something! Right?!
"Good Lord! I'm a freaking pornstar."
"That's what Carlos won, four years ago, before winning Male Performer of the Year. You're on to a great track, man. I... I was shook when they told me."
I giggled hysterically.
I think I had gone through too much emotions that day. I had no idea what I was feeling.
"I think that's good, right? That's an accomplishment? That means I'm the best at something."
"You definitely are. But that's not all."
"Come on. My heart, dude!"
"Guess who's decided to finally open his FansVips?"
I held my breath.
I hoped that this time around, I was not hopeful over nothing.
"Who?"
"Jimmy's coming here in a couple of weeks. He'll be staying with us for a few days to shoot content."
"So, he's really decided?"
"Yes, he even wants to quit his job. He wants us to help him though. You think we can make him the next newcomer of the year?!"
I jumped on Logan.
"For sure, we can! Have you seen us?! We can do anything!"
"You're still up for this then? You don't want to stop?"
"Why would I stop? We've only been starting!"
Logan and I hugged.
I cried.
Not sure if it was from happiness or from something else. I did not know what the future held for me, but maybe that was for the best.
[THE END]
