Single, Straight Men: How Is Your Dating Life?

AtYourCervix10

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just curious fellas, how the dating life is for you during these Covidian times. I've purged myself from Bumble, Hinge and Tinder. So i'm somewhat limited. Also, the fact that I am not seeking a long term relationship takes me out of the hunt with most women. Also, bars are still closed in my area and I'm not going to any underground clubs or scenes....

But i feel there has been a huge shift in dating, maybe it's obvious with Covid, but it's been extremely difficult/impossible to find women open to casual/hook ups, more so than in the past. Obviously, Covid has an impact, but I've had more offers to do some girl's Onlyfans site with her boyfriend, than i have to hook up with a single girl. It's been strangely bizarre. Is it just me?

Or are you guys going out and hooking up with girls, business as usual? Just trying to get a taste test of what's going on out there. thank you!
 

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I have due to my work a good base on getting to know people, So that makes hook ups a lot easier if i wanted to.
I currently have a gf, and i always tended to stay at a girl, with relationships or not, instead getting a new one every weekend. And covid pushed me more in this direction too
And in general youre right, havin less possibilities influences the result ;)
 

AtYourCervix10

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good for you, man. i wish i had your focus. i have an attention deficit disorder when it comes to women.

I do find women on the lookout for exclusive relationships though. that was the #1 question when i was on dating apps that i kept hearing. #1: are you looking to just hook up? #2 are you a serial killer? #3 want to meet for coffee?/go hiking?

that's a key point too, about work. i'm able to work from home now. but i also refuse to date anybody "work related" due to all the "metoo" stuff. i've seen a lot of drama and guys lose their jobs to dating girls they work with.

but i appreciate your feedback, good to know it's not just me.


I have due to my work a good base on getting to know people, So that makes hook ups a lot easier if i wanted to.
I currently have a gf, and i always tended to stay at a girl, with relationships or not, instead getting a new one every weekend. And covid pushed me more in this direction too
And in general youre right, havin less possibilities influences the result ;)
 

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I've always avoided work hook-ups – too much opportunity for things to go wrong, petty jealousies that I don't want to be involved with to happen, accusations to be flung around, etc, etc.

Covid has certainly shut off some good and pretty reliable sources of casual sex for me: international tourists, and women on work trips. Plus I'm not on any work trips atm either. I haven't really completely successfully replaced these sources.
 

AtYourCervix10

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interesting. glad it's not just me.

i wonder too if some big factors are a lot of people losing jobs and having economic instability. maybe a lot of women are really just trying to pay their rent (onlyfans/get a boyfriend to pay bills).

also, of course the bars are closed (where I live). and apparently these vaccines are making women menstruate more, i can't tell you how many times women have used "i just got my period" as an excuse for not hooking up.

it's all very interesting...

I've always avoided work hook-ups – too much opportunity for things to go wrong, petty jealousies that I don't want to be involved with to happen, accusations to be flung around, etc, etc.

Covid has certainly shut off some good and pretty reliable sources of casual sex for me: international tourists, and women on work trips. Plus I'm not on any work trips atm either. I haven't really completely successfully replaced these sources.
 
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Call_Me_Dave

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I've been separated for about 4 years, and haven’t had the time/funds/confidence to brave the dating world. My living situation isn’t ideal, to say the least, and it’s hrs seeing so many people my age far better off than me and thinking I’d be dating material. I met up with an old high school friend a few times, and even that was nerve wracking. She was a stunner than and even more so now. That was a nice confidence boost (her idea to meet up), but out of the blue, she just stopped replying to texts. I waited a few weeks and checked in, got a reply, replied and then silence again. Made one more effort and asked if she wanted to get out (works remotely with 2 young kids alone), and crickets, so I threw in the towel. They weren’t dates, but the closest thing to it for me, which is sad in a way, but back to the drawing board!
 

AtYourCervix10

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hey man. this is a beautiful observation. I really appreciate your share. Also, I get you and feel you. I know exactly what you mean and what you're talking about. It's interesting to me, how in the media we are constantly conditioned about "toxic masculinity." yet, nobody talks about how cruel women can be. You texting her, is a kind thoughtful thing to do, yet she coldly stopped replying. it's pretty heartless.

I say this, because I understand and have experienced versions of this. I totally get it. I also relate to the old flame notion. In apocalyptic times like this, i find myself wistful and remembering better days. And it's an unfortunate truth that the sweet girl from high school can grow up to be someone just like all the rest.

I also get the pressure of us to keep up with the Jones'. We as men, typically are conditioned to evaluate our self worth with net worth. Further, women more so nowadays. I find living in a big city, that women want a man with disposable income to waste on them and provide for them. A guy with a good job, nice house, able to take them out to dinners, spoil them with travel on weekends. It's a lot of pressure and it's exhausting... and at the end of the day, is it worth it?

anyway, I just want to thank you for your response. I totally relate and you're not alone. Please hang in there and keep up the good fight. Read some Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and continue to DO YOU!


I've been separated for about 4 years, and haven’t had the time/funds/confidence to brave the dating world. My living situation isn’t ideal, to say the least, and it’s hrs seeing so many people my age far better off than me and thinking I’d be dating material. I met up with an old high school friend a few times, and even that was nerve wracking. She was a stunner than and even more so now. That was a nice confidence boost (her idea to meet up), but out of the blue, she just stopped replying to texts. I waited a few weeks and checked in, got a reply, replied and then silence again. Made one more effort and asked if she wanted to get out (works remotely with 2 young kids alone), and crickets, so I threw in the towel. They weren’t dates, but the closest thing to it for me, which is sad in a way, but back to the drawing board!
 
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Call_Me_Dave

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hey man. this is a beautiful observation. I really appreciate your share. Also, I get you and feel you. I know exactly what you mean and what you're talking about. It's interesting to me, how in the media we are constantly conditioned about "toxic masculinity." yet, nobody talks about how cruel women can be. You texting her, is a kind thoughtful thing to do, yet she coldly stopped replying. it's pretty heartless.

I say this, because I understand and have experienced versions of this. I totally get it. I also relate to the old flame notion. In apocalyptic times like this, i find myself wistful and remembering better days. And it's an unfortunate truth that the sweet girl from high school can grow up to be someone just like all the rest.

I also get the pressure of us to keep up with the Jones'. We as men, typically are conditioned to evaluate our self worth with net worth. Further, women more so nowadays. I find living in a big city, that women want a man with disposable income to waste on them and provide for them. A guy with a good job, nice house, able to take them out to dinners, spoil them with travel on weekends. It's a lot of pressure and it's exhausting... and at the end of the day, is it worth it?

anyway, I just want to thank you for your response. I totally relate and you're not alone. Please hang in there and keep up the good fight. Read some Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and continue to DO YOU!
I will say that I don’t tho I she is a heartless person. Based on what I know via our conversations and outings, she is far from that. I am more than likely just a byproduct of a crazy busy life, and me being a “new” person relatively speaking in her world, I likely fell through he cracks. Who knows, which is the part that worries me the most. The only thing that really bothers me is if I did/said something to offend her, and I don’t have a clue if that were the case. I’d much rather know that not so I can at least learn from it. Like I said, these weren’t dates, we just discovered we lived a few town from each other so decided to go give a few restaurants some business during covid. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t floored by her appearance and general attitude/personality.
 
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AtYourCervix10

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yeah. i totally know what you mean. i find it funny how women typically complain that men don't know how to communicate. yet, i've been in countless situations where women refuse to communicate their thoughts and feelings. they just runaway without any accountability or explanation, leaving men only to wonder and self-recriminate.


I will say that I don’t tho I she is a heartless person. Based on what I know via our conversations and outings, she is far from that. I am more than likely just a byproduct of a crazy busy life, and me being a “new” person relatively speaking in her world, I likely fell through he cracks. Who knows, which is the part that worries me the most. The only thing that really bothers me is if I did/said something to offend her, and I don’t have a clue if that were the case. I’d much rather know that not so I can at least learn from it. Like I said, these weren’t dates, we just discovered we lived a few town from each other so decided to go give a few restaurants some business during covid. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t floored by her appearance and general attitude/personality.
 

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yeah. i totally know what you mean. i find it funny how women typically complain that men don't know how to communicate. yet, i've been in countless situations where women refuse to communicate their thoughts and feelings. they just runaway without any accountability or explanation, leaving men only to wonder and self-recriminate.
I’ll also add that this woman doesn’t “owe” me anything, but for my own mental sake, I’d like to know, if there is a reason, that reason so I can learn and maybe not repeat that language/behavior.
 
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AtYourCervix10

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Exactly! i totally agree!


I’ll also add that this woman doesn’t “owe” me anything, but for my own mental sake, I’d like to know, if there is a reason, that reason so I can learn and maybe not repeat that language/behavior.
 
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Non existent but that's the way I like it at the minute. I'm a bit of a loner but I am happy enough to pull the balls off myself. Then maybe get laid once a year, no biggie to me