Started fucking my friend, I may have feelings now…

[thirdimpact]

Things have escalated with this new friend really fast, we had sex very early into our friendship and, a few months later, we are still doing it. We meet every week or few weeks, I hang out with his friends often, we have long chat conversations sometimes…

I’m very new to this scenario and very very scared to see myself growing closer to him and putting our friendship at risk… I wanna get to know him much more and I have the intuition that he doesn’t, but I also though he wasn’t interested in me at all and it wasn’t true. Should we have “the conversation”? Has anyone had a similar experience they want to share?

 

[Brodie888]

From the sounds of things, this has been going on for a little while. If he wanted more he'd be calling and spending more time with you than weekly or every few weeks.

It's possible he has a few guys he's fucking on the other days.

My suggestion is to just keep doing what you are doing but make the effort to find someone else who's interested in something more substantial.

To me it just sounds like you are craving something more and you are just latching on to him hoping he is more than he really is.

 

[thirdimpact]

From the sounds of things, this has been going on for a little while. If he wanted more he'd be calling and spending more time with you than weekly or every few weeks.

It's possible he has a few guys he's fucking on the other days.

My suggestion is to just keep doing what you are doing but make the effort to find someone else who's interested in something more substantial.

To me it just sounds like you are craving something more and you are just latching on to him hoping he is more than he really is.

Yeah most likely... He is not fucking other guys right now, and we don't see each other that much because we live a bit far away, and I also know he is afraid of relationships in case he gets hurt, so there's a bit of room to doubt. But things should probably feel easier and smoother when you find the right person. I'll still talk to him at some point to make things clear. Thanks for your opinion!

 

[Oldcowboy]

This is why society has traditions. In a relationship, if you " jump" to sex, you skip a lot of groundwork. And almost impossible to go back and do it,

It's also why I don't complicate my true friendships with sex.

 

[halcyondays]

It's also why I don't complicate my true friendships with sex.

^This. There are friends and there are lovers and never the twain shall meet.

 

[chrisrobin]

Things have escalated with this new friend really fast, we had sex very early into our friendship and, a few months later, we are still doing it. We meet every week or few weeks, I hang out with his friends often, we have long chat conversations sometimes…

I’m very new to this scenario and very very scared to see myself growing closer to him and putting our friendship at risk… I wanna get to know him much more and I have the intuition that he doesn’t, but I also though he wasn’t interested in me at all and it wasn’t true. Should we have “the conversation”? Has anyone had a similar experience they want to share?

Play it cool, the "conversation" wouldn't go down well from what you'v e said. If you are relatively happy with the arrangement and the sex is good don't drive him away by being demanding - and remember there is a distance thing as well which doesn't help. Sometimes its good just to have friends for sex, good sex and even better sex without other complications

 

[deleted645178]

Play it cool, the "conversation" wouldn't go down well from what you'v e said. If you are relatively happy with the arrangement and the sex is good don't drive him away by being demanding - and remember there is a distance thing as well which doesn't help. Sometimes its good just to have friends for sex, good sex and even better sex without other complications

That's exactly right,I've been having sex with my neighbour who's also my best friend, it's been going on for quite a while, things have calmed down the past month due to our work commitments but we've already said it'll be amazing when we have time together,there's no love, just great ridiculously horny sex, even our messages to each other are horny,were also both partnered too.it works well for me and my neighbour.If he wants to go and have sex with other guys,that's his decision, I have no ties on him, works both ways.

 

[chrisrobin]

That's exactly right,I've been having sex with my neighbour who's also my best friend, it's been going on for quite a while, things have calmed down the past month due to our work commitments but we've already said it'll be amazing when we have time together,there's no love, just great ridiculously horny sex, even our messages to each other are horny,were also both partnered too.it works well for me and my neighbour.If he wants to go and have sex with other guys,that's his decision, I have no ties on him, works both ways.

Thats a pretty good way to do things, get horny and have sex and go home. I have a number of guys I do that with, raunchy evenings and nights of give and take but definitely no strings.

 

[thirdimpact]

That's exactly right,I've been having sex with my neighbour who's also my best friend, it's been going on for quite a while, things have calmed down the past month due to our work commitments but we've already said it'll be amazing when we have time together,there's no love, just great ridiculously horny sex, even our messages to each other are horny,were also both partnered too.it works well for me and my neighbour.If he wants to go and have sex with other guys,that's his decision, I have no ties on him, works both ways.

Ah, that's the dream! I wish I could do the same, I'm able to turn off my feelings when I don't see him that often, but every time we spend time together or when we have sex I feel a connection with him that I really want to explore more. I'm trying to figure out if I'm the kind of person who can't have sex without feelings or if it's an ability you acquire after fucking enough men, like you stop caring or something... Just hope I can find the answer before I ruin my life haha

 

[thirdimpact]

Play it cool, the "conversation" wouldn't go down well from what you'v e said. If you are relatively happy with the arrangement and the sex is good don't drive him away by being demanding - and remember there is a distance thing as well which doesn't help. Sometimes its good just to have friends for sex, good sex and even better sex without other complications

True, thanks for the advice! I think I want to have a very light talk still, just to let him know that I'm trying to find the best balance between our friendship and our intimacy. He knows this is new to me and I'm sure I'll find some answers in whatever he thinks about the situation. I'm constantly building walls between us and that doesn't feel right, and I can be a bit more honest without being demanding as you said. Worst case scenario, we'll stop fucking, which sounds devastating because it's the best sex I've ever had haha but I care about him and admire him a lot, so at least I can protect that side of our friendship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[chrisrobin]

True, thanks for the advice! I think I want to have a very light talk still, just to let him know that I'm trying to find the best balance between our friendship and our intimacy. He knows this is new to me and I'm sure I'll find some answers in whatever he thinks about the situation. I'm constantly building walls between us and that doesn't feel right, and I can be a bit more honest without being demanding as you said. Worst case scenario, we'll stop fucking, which sounds devastating because it's the best sex I've ever had haha but I care about him and admire him a lot, so at least I can protect that side of our friendship ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sometimes it's wise to be led and not demanding, take things as they come and be happy. I was in the same sort of situation with the delivery guy. He had a live-in girlfriend but she didn't put out much and I was there and willing to provide what she couldn't. I admit to seducing him by suggesting I gave him head but he quickly took the initiative and soon his head was all over the place - but very much on his terms as I was quite happy with what I was getting.

 

[thirdimpact]

Sometimes it's wise to be led and not demanding, take things as they come and be happy. I was in the same sort of situation with the delivery guy. He had a live-in girlfriend but she didn't put out much and I was there and willing to provide what she couldn't. I admit to seducing him by suggesting I gave him head but he quickly took the initiative and soon his head was all over the place - but very much on his terms as I was quite happy with what I was getting.

Yeah it's great to notice that you are already happy with that dynamic instead of trying to take things further, which doesn't always means better. In my case, I'm still trying to figure that out, I guess! Also, the story with the delivery guy sounds very hot haha