gaydude45

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Have you ever had a straight friend exhibit an element of homosexual curiosity? I once had a friend who, when evaluating all the evidence, certainly seemed to accurately fit the bill. He persistently brought up set to "get [me] excited", despite my constant and ashamed protests. He would get drunk and take his shirt off to show me his muscular body. But I saw that I had to play a weird little game; it couldn't be explicitly gay, I suppose. When I confronted him on this he flat out denied it. But the games continued, and the sexual tension between us became so ripe that it heavily contributed to what ultimately ended our friendship. Tragic. He was my friend, my brother by choice, as it were. I loved him, very much, as my friend and brother. Why would he do that? Is so much of a coward that he couldn't come to me with forthright direction and admit his latent physical feelings? I might have otherwise reciprocated, but I was never going to proceed based on a premise of dishonesty and pretense. Thoughts, anyone?
 
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I’ll play devil’s advocate. Do you think that possibly it wasn’t sexual and he was just completely comfortable with you? I mean, most people get hot when they get drunk so that explains always taking off his shirt. As far as showing off his muscular body, most guys show off their muscles to each other; ie (look at this gains, bro” type stuff. As far as the sex conversations, most guys I know talk about sex when they’re just chilling and drinking.

I personally think you might’ve lost a brother over nothing.
 
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I’ll play devil’s advocate. Do you think that possibly it wasn’t sexual and he was just completely comfortable with you? I mean, most people get hot when they get drunk so that explains always taking off his shirt. As far as showing off his muscular body, most guys show off their muscles to each other; ie (look at this gains, bro” type stuff. As far as the sex conversations, most guys I know talk about sex when they’re just chilling and drinking.

I personally think you might’ve lost a brother over nothing.
The friendship was ended over serial rudeness and public embarrassment, neither of which are disclosed here.

I am inclined to heed your own viewpoint, but his failure to cease and desist this highly charged chatter appears to be a sign of will to force a kind of sexual tension between us.

My core questions are:

Has this happened to you?

Why would my friend do this?

It is not a popular opinion to state that a self-proclaimed straight man might do something gay, but this certainly feels like it.
 
Or, think of it this way. He knew he was turning you on and possibly liked the thought of you getting hard to him But, he himself was extremely repressed and uncomfortable about being open with you about that, so the tension continued.

I speak from experience on this one. Had a very close friend in college, who was decent looking, in very good shape and very muscular. He was raised in a fairly conservative home, but he knew I thought he was hot and used to deliberately do stuff like this with me. Five years later (when I still had Facebook) I see he is gay and out. I sent him a DM congratulating him. He said back you know if I actually had just owned up, we could have had a lot of fun.


Wouldn’t surprise me if your friend knew exactly what he was doing
 
Or, think of it this way. He knew he was turning you on and possibly liked the thought of you getting hard to him But, he himself was extremely repressed and uncomfortable about being open with you about that, so the tension continued.

I speak from experience on this one. Had a very close friend in college, who was decent looking, in very good shape and very muscular. He was raised in a fairly conservative home, but he knew I thought he was hot and used to deliberately do stuff like this with me. Five years later (when I still had Facebook) I see he is gay and out. I sent him a DM congratulating him. He said back you know if I actually had just owned up, we could have had a lot of fun.


Wouldn’t surprise me if your friend knew exactly what he was doing
This sounds like a very likely scenario.
 
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This sounds like a very likely scenario.
This was years ago at this point, but the thought that ran through my mind was

well, even if our friendship still ended up dissolved, boy I would’ve had fun with him.

I am completely sure we would have fucked like crazy going by the message he sent me.
 
The friendship was ended over serial rudeness and public embarrassment, neither of which are disclosed here.

I am inclined to heed your own viewpoint, but his failure to cease and desist this highly charged chatter appears to be a sign of will to force a kind of sexual tension between us.

My core questions are:

Has this happened to you?

Why would my friend do this?

It is not a popular opinion to state that a self-proclaimed straight man might do something gay, but this certainly feels like it.
Ok so you left out other things that contributed to the end of the friendship. Now that, I understand ending the friendship. There’s no coming back from that no matter who the friend is.

To answer your question, yes it has happened to me. In school, I was texting a friend and he brought up boyxboy sex so we were conversing about it. Then he showed everybody at school the next day, outing me and publicly embarrassing me. I ended our friendship and the school admins suspended him and told him if he talked to me or about that situation they would expel him from the district.
 
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Straight guys tend to cock, tease, and asses if you are attracted to them. Part of the main ego. it has also happened to me with my friend. But in this case, I was heavily attracted to him and we had a great first sexual encounter but later when I persisted for more encounters, he resisted.
 
Yes this has happened to me a lot. Plenty of straight friends hit on me when they get too drunk to know what they're doing. I turn them down because the fact they have to get drunk in order to hit on me makes me see them as cowards, which is a turn off to me. On some occasions though it seems more like they're seeking validation more than they're seeking to explore their curiosity. On the some occasions though it definitely has to do with curiosity and drunken attraction.

It's never ruined any of my friendships with them, though. They invariably forget about it the next morning and I'm always glad of it having been forgotten. At this point it's simply an eye-rolling experience that I never take too heavily. Just one of those annoying, awkward situations that gay men have to accept and live with.
 
Yes this has happened to me a lot. Plenty of straight friends hit on me when they get too drunk to know what they're doing. I turn them down because the fact they have to get drunk in order to hit on me makes me see them as cowards, which is a turn off to me. On some occasions though it seems more like they're seeking validation more than they're seeking to explore their curiosity. On the some occasions though it definitely has to do with curiosity and drunken attraction.

It's never ruined any of my friendships with them, though. They invariably forget about it the next morning and I'm always glad of it having been forgotten. At this point it's simply an eye-rolling experience that I never take too heavily. Just one of those annoying, awkward situations that gay men have to accept and live with.
I really do think that there are a decent amount of self-identifying “straight” guys that are curious about what it is like, but are shellshocked afraid to try it due to societal norms and/or religious bullshit about how it is not normal.
 
At this point it's simply an eye-rolling experience that I never take too heavily. Just one of those annoying, awkward situations that gay men have to accept and live with.


Unfortunately I haven't any insight on this.

I'm out to my straight friends. Never been hit on or flirted with even as a joke. We grew up in a hyper-masculine environment where kids actively sought out and bully/insult/beat gay men. If I had trouble with internalizing that and challenging and recognizing it, theres no way in hell they would be able to. As a result, even a silly nonsense joke insinuating homosexuality is totally off limits. (Yet simultaneously there's no issue with being gay. Just dont talk about it, mention it, bring up anything remotely related to it, or even point out hypocricy using opposite sex/sexuality as a comparison. If so do it over there, away from them. They aren't homophobic at all! ): unamused:
 
Unfortunately I haven't any insight on this.

I'm out to my straight friends. Never been hit on or flirted with even as a joke. We grew up in a hyper-masculine environment where kids actively sought out and bully/insult/beat gay men. If I had trouble with internalizing that and challenging and recognizing it, theres no way in hell they would be able to. As a result, even a silly nonsense joke insinuating homosexuality is totally off limits. (Yet simultaneously there's no issue with being gay. Just dont talk about it, mention it, bring up anything remotely related to it, or even point out hypocricy using opposite sex/sexuality as a comparison. If so do it over there, away from them. They aren't homophobic at all! ): unamused:
we need to get you some new friends, you shouldn't have to deal with that sort of thing as an adult.
 
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This is typical of the “straight” guys I’ve had experiences with. They’re most likely bi (or flat out gay and repressed at that point). They flirt with it and gets them excited…then too excited and it’s “bye”
 
I think it often comes down to this:

They have a small amount of homosexual tendencies. Given the right circumstances, they would cross the line. But at the same time, they in no way wish to be identified as bisexual or gay to the outside world.

So they would rather end the friendship than be outed.

The combination of being seen with you out in public and you confronting him has pushed him to choose which is more important. His curiosity or his heterosexual identity.

Given your time again, would you have done anything different? Probably not. But I have had many straight men cross over by just letting it happen rather than make them analyze the situation with questions and freaking themselves out.