Struggling with Sexuality as a men? Asexual/Bi?

[mrt19]

Hey, I'm struggling with my sexuality (M24). I've been confused about it ever since puberty. I thought I was gay because I found the male body really interesting. When I grew older and had my first "hook up" with a hot guy, I was very nervous. I would sob beforehand while looking at them (I know, it's bad). During the encounter, I felt nothing, whether I was riding him or he rode me. This same thing happened with other guys I met; I never felt that "wow" moment.
With women, I’m very shy because I don’t want to hurt them mentally. I have a high sex drive but no desire for commitment. Even with hookup girls, I feel overwhelmed and couldn’t go through with it (I don’t know why). Sometimes I think about being with a woman, but it’s really rare. When I go out, I’m always on the "hunt" for men for a quick adventure, even though I don’t enjoy it or feel anything during it.
I’m really confused about whether I’m bi, asexual, or something else. I don’t have a problem with my looks; people of all genders find me attractive. This makes it even harder to understand what my body wants. How can I stop being so "horny"? I don’t want to always look for a quickie when I’m outside; it feels like FOMO, and I constantly think about sex.

 

[dreamer20]

(M24) I've struggled/been confused about sexuality since puberty. thought I was gay. My first "hook up" with a guy: I was nervous, sobbed beforehand, felt nothing whether I rode him or he me. Same with other guys - never felt that "wow" moment. With women I’m very shy, felt overwhelmed and couldn’t go through with sex. I think of sex with women rarely. I hunt for a quickie with men, though I don’t enjoy/feel anything during it. Am I bi, asexual, or something else? People of all genders find me attractive. What does my body want? How can I stop thinking about sex?

Please shift your focus from sexuality, mrt19, as that doesn't address your primary complaint. You have not obtained satisfaction from anal sex. Perhaps being a Side might suit you:
How many of you are "Sides" (oral no anal)?

 

[Evenflow618]

maybe asexual

 

[jukemyboi]

Hey, I'm struggling with my sexuality (M24). I've been confused about it ever since puberty. I thought I was gay because I found the male body really interesting. When I grew older and had my first "hook up" with a hot guy, I was very nervous. I would sob beforehand while looking at them (I know, it's bad). During the encounter, I felt nothing, whether I was riding him or he rode me. This same thing happened with other guys I met; I never felt that "wow" moment.
With women, I’m very shy because I don’t want to hurt them mentally. I have a high sex drive but no desire for commitment. Even with hookup girls, I feel overwhelmed and couldn’t go through with it (I don’t know why). Sometimes I think about being with a woman, but it’s really rare. When I go out, I’m always on the "hunt" for men for a quick adventure, even though I don’t enjoy it or feel anything during it.
I’m really confused about whether I’m bi, asexual, or something else. I don’t have a problem with my looks; people of all genders find me attractive. This makes it even harder to understand what my body wants. How can I stop being so "horny"? I don’t want to always look for a quickie when I’m outside; it feels like FOMO, and I constantly think about sex.

I know you don’t have a desire for commitment, but you could be like me and only enjoy sex when you’re in love or really into the partner.

 

[AllieHeidi]

During the encounter, I felt nothing,

Physiologically, emotionally, or both? If it's just emotionally, then it's possible you're asexual with a high libido (yes, this is possible). If you find yourself being more sexually satisfied when masturbating than with other people, then you could be asexual.

Or, you may just have anxiety about sex, in general.

What to Know About Sexual Performance Anxiety

 

[jaymes_eboy]

I enjoy the idea of sex more than actually doing it.

 

[SalikOfThePierced Cock]

Hey, I'm struggling with my sexuality (M24). I've been confused about it ever since puberty. I thought I was gay because I found the male body really interesting. When I grew older and had my first "hook up" with a hot guy, I was very nervous. I would sob beforehand while looking at them (I know, it's bad). During the encounter, I felt nothing, whether I was riding him or he rode me. This same thing happened with other guys I met; I never felt that "wow" moment.
With women, I’m very shy because I don’t want to hurt them mentally. I have a high sex drive but no desire for commitment. Even with hookup girls, I feel overwhelmed and couldn’t go through with it (I don’t know why). Sometimes I think about being with a woman, but it’s really rare. When I go out, I’m always on the "hunt" for men for a quick adventure, even though I don’t enjoy it or feel anything during it.
I’m really confused about whether I’m bi, asexual, or something else. I don’t have a problem with my looks; people of all genders find me attractive. This makes it even harder to understand what my body wants. How can I stop being so "horny"? I don’t want to always look for a quickie when I’m outside; it feels like FOMO, and I constantly think about sex.

Sounds a hell of a lot like me before I realize I'm in the asexual spectrum.

 

[Posingstrap]

I came out at age 47 after being married 15 years to my wife. I was hugely nervous over suddenly having to be gay due to never having been unfaithful to my wife. IOW, I hadn't been with a guy for a long time, yet knew inside I preferred men.

All those years of being closeted, denying my true self, not accepting my true self, having religious issues weighing on me also, made for some really unsatisfying encounters after I'd finally admitted to myself I was gay and took the plunge and moved to a city where I could live a gay life. I was so nervous and inexperienced, yet looked like someone who was experienced, that I just hoped I would find a guy who would teach me the ropes. I was too embarrassed to just tell a guy that I didn't even know how to go to first base with a man.

Advice is easy to give and not always useful, particularly on a site like this where we only know a little about a person and not enough to offer up insightful and personal commentary/advice. But here goes:
I suggest to you that you be absolutely upfront before hooking up with a guy. Tell him your story. Tell him you need to be slowly and patiently introduced to man-to-man intimacy, and that maybe all you want to do at first is just get used to kissing a man. Kissing is a very sensual, very beautiful and expressive way of allowing your body to get used to things and get comfortable and be intimate. You could easily spend an entire date doing nothing but kissing until you got into things and you felt your lips and tongue feel connected to what's between your legs and maybe make you want to go further, and then further.

Go slowly. Let yourself be vulnerable and inexperienced and say so. Pick someone who is interested in you and not just wanting to get off. Start with going to a movie or dinner and be as shy and open as you can, and don't let your mind rule your body but let your body begin to signal that it likes being close to another man. If it feels like too much, back off and take a breather. It takes time. And, it deserves time. There's no rush, and there aren't any rules. You don't have to mimic an OnlyFans scene. It is just about you and your needs and letting happen what happens without judging yourself or getting all flustered and confused. Treat like dating in another century, where guys went for walks and built up trust and confidence and shared and gradually made moves into intimacy.

That's all I've got to share here but am open to sharing more with you if you wish.
Posingstrap

 

[nhguy78]

Similar to me. I am asexual but I have bouts of intense libido. Gotta take care of it somehow. Usually it's solo. I am married so I have that ability for intimacy. I am very sensually and aesthetically motivated. All I want from my sexuality is to feel good that is all. I've been primarily intimate with men only so I've historically claimed gay label until recently.

 

[ariesgeorge]

My personal suggestion would be to enjoy exploring before rushing to define yourself. Explore new things with the people you have sex with and see what turns you on. It sounds to me like you have difficulty talking about your sexuality so you prefer to seek the thrill of hook ups. My recommendation would be to seek out a fwb who you're comfortable telling what you enjoy sexually. Also love yourself as you are even if right now you feel confused. You'll define yourself when the time is right for you.

 

[ariesgeorge]

P.S you have a beautiful ass

 

[Groundas]

Hey, I'm struggling with my sexuality (M24). I've been confused about it ever since puberty. I thought I was gay because I found the male body really interesting. When I grew older and had my first "hook up" with a hot guy, I was very nervous. I would sob beforehand while looking at them (I know, it's bad). During the encounter, I felt nothing, whether I was riding him or he rode me. This same thing happened with other guys I met; I never felt that "wow" moment.
With women, I’m very shy because I don’t want to hurt them mentally. I have a high sex drive but no desire for commitment. Even with hookup girls, I feel overwhelmed and couldn’t go through with it (I don’t know why). Sometimes I think about being with a woman, but it’s really rare. When I go out, I’m always on the "hunt" for men for a quick adventure, even though I don’t enjoy it or feel anything during it.
I’m really confused about whether I’m bi, asexual, or something else. I don’t have a problem with my looks; people of all genders find me attractive. This makes it even harder to understand what my body wants. How can I stop being so "horny"? I don’t want to always look for a quickie when I’m outside; it feels like FOMO, and I constantly think about sex.

I'm Gay, yeah!I always ask myself: Can bisexuals have problems?!*I think not!! Why?* Simple, very simple.I don't understand you bisexuals! I'm gay

 

[ariesgeorge]

I'm Gay, yeah!I always ask myself: Can bisexuals have problems?!*I think not!! Why?* Simple, very simple.I don't understand you bisexuals! I'm gay

Wow. That's very narrow minded.

 

[SalikOfThePierced Cock]

I'm Gay, yeah!I always ask myself: Can bisexuals have problems?!*I think not!! Why?* Simple, very simple.I don't understand you bisexuals! I'm gay

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