Teasing too much?

[sudcalifornio]

Lately I have been teasing my gf in sex to the point she cuss at me. I have developed some kind of fetish because of that.
I keep doing this because she cums really fast, but she says her orgasm doesn't feel as good.
I have been doing this because I have been asking her to express how does she like it, but she never gives me a concrete answer. I wanna have with her a good connection but she doesn't cooperate much!!!
How can I made her to talk about how she wants it during sex without punish her?

 

[deleted848353]

So u rather be cruel wat will you do when she leaves you

 

[693987]

You're forcing her to have sex in a way she doesn't like. That is fucked up and you should stop that.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Maybe she doesn't know what she wants, generally. One thing is for sure. She has clearly expressed that she doesn't like the teasing. She has articulated that she isn't having as much fun as you. You do it anyway.

This isn't the first time I thought of you as abusive.

You say you want to have a good connection with her, and that she doesn't cooperate. This is a lie you are telling yourself. Intimacy cannot be rushed. It develops at an unregulated pace. Just because you aren't attaining it at the speed you want, in the way you want doesn't mean she's not cooperating. You don't listen when she communicates. And if she asks you to stop doing something and you won't listen, why should she trust you with something she may feel shy about, or an idea she doesn't yet understand, or a fantasy that isn't fully formed, when you have shown her that what she wants, really and truly isn't important to you, despite your claims, and you won't listen?

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Why are you assuming that she is giving you "incorrect" answers?

How would you like it if the roles were reversed, and she was pulling that shit on you when You didn't appreciate it?

Cut it out.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Imagine. He thinks punishment is a way to gain trust.

His stubbornness reminds me of an ex I had who used to tickle me, even though I told him many times I found it upsetting. One day I pinched and bit him and he was, unsurprisingly, upset. I told him I would be increasingly violent if he kept tickling me. He seemed hurt. I asked him why he persisted in doing it.

"How can you mean you don't like it? It makes you laugh. You look so happy."

He didn't fucking listen until the day I hurt him. Some dudes are like that. Case in point.

 

[918177]

She needs run.

Run far.
Run fast.

May the gods speed her feet.

 

[sudcalifornio]

Maybe she doesn't know what she wants, generally. One thing is for sure. She has clearly expressed that she doesn't like the teasing

I'm going to be checking if is that she doesn't know what she wants, I guess you're right.

 

[AlteredEgo]

 

[286798]

Not that you'll listen, but I'm not terribly verbal when asked "what do you like". I'd rather guide you. If repeatedly asked, despite explaining that I prefer to show you (either physically or showing a video), he'll get no further invitations to my bed because he doesn't respect/understand my desires.

 

[deleted924715]

Make her? Punish her? Whaaaaaa

 

[sudcalifornio]

I'm more puzzled over this, I felt bad with all the explanations you girls gave me.
I stopped touching her till I got a clear idea what I was doing or creating. She was starting to make questions about it

Not that you'll listen, but I'm not terribly verbal when asked "what do you like". I'd rather guide you. If repeatedly asked, despite explaining that I prefer to show you (either physically or showing a video)

I told her about it, she told me she feels shame expressing things like that, to not insist with the same, if she wouldn't like it she wouldn't be with me.
So back to the same problem/issue, I didn't bother her asking what she wants. Tried to not tease too much, she didn't cum.
I'm not touching her despise how much I desire to.
Need to think what's going on.

 

[918177]

*sigh*

I think a lot of the nuance of what's happening is being lost in translation.

And once again I'm reminded that for every slipper there's a foot that fits it.

I'm at a loss to be quite frank and any issues you both have sexually has to be
sorted between the pair of you where communication, hopefully, will be less blurred
than what has been shared here.

I hope it works out for both your sakes.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'm more puzzled over this, I felt bad with all the explanations you girls gave me.
I stopped touching her till I got a clear idea what I was doing or creating. She was starting to make questions about it

I told her about it, she told me she feels shame expressing things like that, to not insist with the same, if she wouldn't like it she wouldn't be with me.
So back to the same problem/issue, I didn't bother her asking what she wants. Tried to not tease too much, she didn't cum.
I'm not touching her despise how much I desire to.
Need to think what's going on.

Wait. Why did you stop touching her? I'm confused. I feel like I missed something. Break it down for me like I'm a mentally challenged toddler.

Also. What's your first language? Sometimes knowing that helps me understand someone better.

 

[sudcalifornio]

Wait. Why did you stop touching her? I'm confused. I feel like I missed something. Break it down for me like I'm a mentally challenged toddler.

Also. What's your first language? Sometimes knowing that helps me understand someone better.

I stopped touching her since I have been bashed as a woman abuser.
I'm Mexican, english is a second language to me

 

[AlteredEgo]

I stopped touching her since I have been bashed as a woman abuser.
I'm Mexican, english is a second language to me

You've misunderstood. Not all abuse is physical. If you do something to someone, and they ask you to stop, and you keep going and doing it anyway, that is abusive. that includes asking the same questions over and over when someone tells you you're making them uncomfortable and they don't like it, and engaging in any kind of play someone has told you they don't like.

 

[deleted924715]

^^precisely

 

[sudcalifornio]

Well she doesn't express exactly what she wants, nor to be ask about, we aren't connecting in bed because she's too shy to say, why abusing mentally or psychologically of her by doing the only way she can orgasm?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Well she doesn't express exactly what she wants, nor to be ask about, we aren't connecting in bed because she's too shy to say, why abusing mentally or psychologically of her by doing the only way she can orgasm?

Puedo leer Español. Que escribes en Inglés es dificil entender. ¿Quizás puedes repitalo en Español?

And please let me know if you would prefer that I use formal conjugation of verbs with you. I thought it would be okay to use the informal form, but if that is disrespectful I apologize.

 

[sudcalifornio]

Creo seguire haciendo lo mismo, la unica manera que ella tiene orgasmos es "teasing".