The Wedding
Max in preparation for what was about to unfold, replaced the traditional wedding march with Billy Idols song, ‘White Wedding’. Then asked his wedding coordinator to lose the baby pictures set to ooh. and ahh. guests and shown above the altar on the overhead projector and replaced them with the pictures, screenshots and texts he had received from Donkeyboi Pepe.
Max decided to sit his parents down and, in their stead, chose Donna Tramp and Miss Mia Obama to walk down the aisle. Without a minute to spare, he explained about the texts and Tony’s affair with Donkeyboi Pepe. Donna said they already knew everything; Melanoma’s received a copy of the texts too. So, now that they were all caught up on the T (i.e. truth) Donna looked at Max’s eyes with tenderness and empathy and asked if he was OK and asked how he was feeling? Miss Mia interrupted them, ‘we ain’t got time for this Steal Magnolia bull-crap we got a wedding to wreck and a trifling no good cockroach to whoop. So, lets hit it!’ They couldn’t help laughing at Miss Mia when she goes full ghetto banshee.
Max could see Tony at a distance standing at the altar worried. Tony knew something was terribly wrong and something ominous was about to go down.
The President is a Tramp
Donna Tramp took the lead as soon as the music started. She walked down the aisle with the strut and confidence of a high-priced-hooker, then with one tug she pulled her dress completely off her body together with wig in a reveal and tossed both at the republicans she hated most. Exposing her partially naked and grossly overweight body as if it were a thing of beauty to behold. She was left with a skimpy tight orange one-piece bathing suit with what seemed like orange Styrofoam glued to it contoured and painted orange to resemble a Cheeto. The wig she revealed was a thinning blond combover, much like the presidents.
Donna Tramp in an instant transformed into Trump. The illusion was made more amazing by her stopping at mid-runway to apply orange tanner from a compact. People couldn’t help but laugh, even those that shouldn’t or couldn’t did. Then she started back up the runway towards the altar tweeting proudly from her cell phone and laughing at her own stupid tweets.
Some guests howled in outrageous laughter, and others seemed offended. Max heard a few whispering gay-slurs and hateful words about Donna. Max couldn’t be bothered as his focus was on Tony’s face and his humiliation was his revenge.
MISS OBAMA TOO
Then down went Miss Mia. Max new hellfire was about rain. Miss Mia being African American and a gay transsexual of immigrant Kenyan parents no less, loved Obama and despised the current administration’s criticisms of him, their undermining and belittling his wonderful eight-year scandal-free contribution to America and Americans.
After a few steps, Miss Mia tore off her clothes too. With one strong pull she was naked, and she cast her close on Tony’s side of the wedding aisle for good measure. Her wig soon followed. She was standing in mid-aisle naked and looking fierce. Her body was painted to look like a slave wrapped in thick chains up to her neck. Then from her purse she pulled out a crown of thorns like Christ’s and put on the crown then threw the purse across the room as she stared shamming everyone.
The message was powerful for those who understood it. As a black slave in bondage she was protesting a government that reverted to racism. The crown of thorns represented the racist president responsible for the racist revival. As well as exposed Trump’s delusional idiocy of being god’s prophet and attempt to fraudulently mislead people with evangelical false prophets. It was a powerful message and proved more powerful as every republican with the desire to keep their jobs ran for the door.
Those that stayed were the people Max cared about. They were the people he would have invited if not for Tony. And they were all living for the show that they’d just witness. They were awed by the surprise, costumes, execution and the message, but were mystified as to why. So, now it was Max’s turn to literally be the show stopping performance.
Max Walks Down the Aisle
With his head held high, eyes in a deadlock with Tony’s. He arrives at the front cleared his throat and gave his assistant the nod to start the overhead projector. The first slide began with the words, ‘A DUPLICITOUS CHEAT.’
Max began reading the texts as written, ‘This weekend Pepe, you and me, baby! Max has got nothing on you!’ The slides revealed screenshots and pictures of the meaning of those words. Max continued, ‘I can’t wait to have you, with me, atop me and inside me.’ And cringe-worthy slides that evidenced exactly that. ‘Baby, you are so big, and you know how to use every inch! I wish my BF was hung like you and had half your skills in bed.’ Max didn’t hold anything back and read it aloud word for word.
Gasps could be heard with each word, as well as the sniffles of tears. And those that thought Max’s broken heart was funny, laughed.
The Green Mile
Tony feeling the pressure and the humiliation, seeing his career crumbling, dreams dead, his future in politics ruined, relationship over, everything he worked disappeared in the flash of a moment. All gone!
Tony looked pale as a ghost, gasping for air and literally drowning in shame. He attempted to deflect, say it wasn’t true, and that Max was lying or was the victim of vicious fake news. When, Miss Mia jumped up from her chair and said, ‘What? FAKE NEWS? REALLY? DAMN REPUBLICANS THUGS AND THEIR FAKE NEWS! You about to catch a Miss Mia ASS-WHOOPING and I guarantee that’s REAL NEWS! She then showed Tony her phone and said, ‘do you need a ride? Because I can call a Donkey that for the right price might give you another booty-ride out of here before Miss Mia forgets she’s a lady and kicks your trifling white gay republican ass outta here, or maybe you prefer he tell everyone here how you loved his services before!’
Even Tony understood the threat in her words were real and promised another heaping serving of more embarrassment and humiliation.
Then Max said, ‘Tony the only fake anything in this room is you!’
Unable to defend himself further and caught red-handed in his web of lies and deceit, Tony had to acquiesce defeat and bolted for the door as fast as he could. He left exactly as he arrived- a coward. Leaving everyone completely baffled.
The Celebration
Afterward, Max addressed his guests, ‘I think you’ve all might have gathered, there won’t be a wedding today.’ The statement of the obvious after the gay drama they witnessed was too funny not to laugh.
After the laughter and awkwardness over, Max expressed his love to all in attendance and thanked them for gracing his occasion with their presence. He read a quote aloud, ‘Be grateful that life has the courage that you lack in removing harmful people from your path.’ And, then announced enthusiastically an invitation to party. A celebration of truth, honor and above all gratitude for life.
Miss Mia yelled out, ‘HALLELOO and AMEN to THAT!’ Which caused more laughter then thunderous applause which was the inspiration Max needed to find joy even in his misfortune, and the strength to party with his guests. He also decided in the spirit of gratitude to call Donkeyboi Pepe to thank him and invite him to the celebration, where they would party until the break of dawn.
Time Heals All Wounds
Six months later, there was another wedding, a small and meaningful ceremony. Max and Donkeyboi Pepe fell in love and decided to marry. A wedding with immediate friends and family, for a humble celebration of love.
The wedding took place in El Paso, Texas. Pepe’s family lived in Chihuahua, Mexico, so it was easy to cross and attend the wedding. Max and Pepe were eager to have everyone they cherished to celebrate their wedding with them, so, they invited their wedding guests all expenses paid.
And another invitation was extended to all of Pepe’s family and friends yearning for ‘The American Dream’ to stay after the wedding. Max, once in favor of the wall, now thought, ‘SCREW THE WALL!’
They Lived Happily Ever After
Max in preparation for what was about to unfold, replaced the traditional wedding march with Billy Idols song, ‘White Wedding’. Then asked his wedding coordinator to lose the baby pictures set to ooh. and ahh. guests and shown above the altar on the overhead projector and replaced them with the pictures, screenshots and texts he had received from Donkeyboi Pepe.
Max decided to sit his parents down and, in their stead, chose Donna Tramp and Miss Mia Obama to walk down the aisle. Without a minute to spare, he explained about the texts and Tony’s affair with Donkeyboi Pepe. Donna said they already knew everything; Melanoma’s received a copy of the texts too. So, now that they were all caught up on the T (i.e. truth) Donna looked at Max’s eyes with tenderness and empathy and asked if he was OK and asked how he was feeling? Miss Mia interrupted them, ‘we ain’t got time for this Steal Magnolia bull-crap we got a wedding to wreck and a trifling no good cockroach to whoop. So, lets hit it!’ They couldn’t help laughing at Miss Mia when she goes full ghetto banshee.
Max could see Tony at a distance standing at the altar worried. Tony knew something was terribly wrong and something ominous was about to go down.
The President is a Tramp
Donna Tramp took the lead as soon as the music started. She walked down the aisle with the strut and confidence of a high-priced-hooker, then with one tug she pulled her dress completely off her body together with wig in a reveal and tossed both at the republicans she hated most. Exposing her partially naked and grossly overweight body as if it were a thing of beauty to behold. She was left with a skimpy tight orange one-piece bathing suit with what seemed like orange Styrofoam glued to it contoured and painted orange to resemble a Cheeto. The wig she revealed was a thinning blond combover, much like the presidents.
Donna Tramp in an instant transformed into Trump. The illusion was made more amazing by her stopping at mid-runway to apply orange tanner from a compact. People couldn’t help but laugh, even those that shouldn’t or couldn’t did. Then she started back up the runway towards the altar tweeting proudly from her cell phone and laughing at her own stupid tweets.
Some guests howled in outrageous laughter, and others seemed offended. Max heard a few whispering gay-slurs and hateful words about Donna. Max couldn’t be bothered as his focus was on Tony’s face and his humiliation was his revenge.
MISS OBAMA TOO
Then down went Miss Mia. Max new hellfire was about rain. Miss Mia being African American and a gay transsexual of immigrant Kenyan parents no less, loved Obama and despised the current administration’s criticisms of him, their undermining and belittling his wonderful eight-year scandal-free contribution to America and Americans.
After a few steps, Miss Mia tore off her clothes too. With one strong pull she was naked, and she cast her close on Tony’s side of the wedding aisle for good measure. Her wig soon followed. She was standing in mid-aisle naked and looking fierce. Her body was painted to look like a slave wrapped in thick chains up to her neck. Then from her purse she pulled out a crown of thorns like Christ’s and put on the crown then threw the purse across the room as she stared shamming everyone.
The message was powerful for those who understood it. As a black slave in bondage she was protesting a government that reverted to racism. The crown of thorns represented the racist president responsible for the racist revival. As well as exposed Trump’s delusional idiocy of being god’s prophet and attempt to fraudulently mislead people with evangelical false prophets. It was a powerful message and proved more powerful as every republican with the desire to keep their jobs ran for the door.
Those that stayed were the people Max cared about. They were the people he would have invited if not for Tony. And they were all living for the show that they’d just witness. They were awed by the surprise, costumes, execution and the message, but were mystified as to why. So, now it was Max’s turn to literally be the show stopping performance.
Max Walks Down the Aisle
With his head held high, eyes in a deadlock with Tony’s. He arrives at the front cleared his throat and gave his assistant the nod to start the overhead projector. The first slide began with the words, ‘A DUPLICITOUS CHEAT.’
Max began reading the texts as written, ‘This weekend Pepe, you and me, baby! Max has got nothing on you!’ The slides revealed screenshots and pictures of the meaning of those words. Max continued, ‘I can’t wait to have you, with me, atop me and inside me.’ And cringe-worthy slides that evidenced exactly that. ‘Baby, you are so big, and you know how to use every inch! I wish my BF was hung like you and had half your skills in bed.’ Max didn’t hold anything back and read it aloud word for word.
Gasps could be heard with each word, as well as the sniffles of tears. And those that thought Max’s broken heart was funny, laughed.
The Green Mile
Tony feeling the pressure and the humiliation, seeing his career crumbling, dreams dead, his future in politics ruined, relationship over, everything he worked disappeared in the flash of a moment. All gone!
Tony looked pale as a ghost, gasping for air and literally drowning in shame. He attempted to deflect, say it wasn’t true, and that Max was lying or was the victim of vicious fake news. When, Miss Mia jumped up from her chair and said, ‘What? FAKE NEWS? REALLY? DAMN REPUBLICANS THUGS AND THEIR FAKE NEWS! You about to catch a Miss Mia ASS-WHOOPING and I guarantee that’s REAL NEWS! She then showed Tony her phone and said, ‘do you need a ride? Because I can call a Donkey that for the right price might give you another booty-ride out of here before Miss Mia forgets she’s a lady and kicks your trifling white gay republican ass outta here, or maybe you prefer he tell everyone here how you loved his services before!’
Even Tony understood the threat in her words were real and promised another heaping serving of more embarrassment and humiliation.
Then Max said, ‘Tony the only fake anything in this room is you!’
Unable to defend himself further and caught red-handed in his web of lies and deceit, Tony had to acquiesce defeat and bolted for the door as fast as he could. He left exactly as he arrived- a coward. Leaving everyone completely baffled.
The Celebration
Afterward, Max addressed his guests, ‘I think you’ve all might have gathered, there won’t be a wedding today.’ The statement of the obvious after the gay drama they witnessed was too funny not to laugh.
After the laughter and awkwardness over, Max expressed his love to all in attendance and thanked them for gracing his occasion with their presence. He read a quote aloud, ‘Be grateful that life has the courage that you lack in removing harmful people from your path.’ And, then announced enthusiastically an invitation to party. A celebration of truth, honor and above all gratitude for life.
Miss Mia yelled out, ‘HALLELOO and AMEN to THAT!’ Which caused more laughter then thunderous applause which was the inspiration Max needed to find joy even in his misfortune, and the strength to party with his guests. He also decided in the spirit of gratitude to call Donkeyboi Pepe to thank him and invite him to the celebration, where they would party until the break of dawn.
Time Heals All Wounds
Six months later, there was another wedding, a small and meaningful ceremony. Max and Donkeyboi Pepe fell in love and decided to marry. A wedding with immediate friends and family, for a humble celebration of love.
The wedding took place in El Paso, Texas. Pepe’s family lived in Chihuahua, Mexico, so it was easy to cross and attend the wedding. Max and Pepe were eager to have everyone they cherished to celebrate their wedding with them, so, they invited their wedding guests all expenses paid.
And another invitation was extended to all of Pepe’s family and friends yearning for ‘The American Dream’ to stay after the wedding. Max, once in favor of the wall, now thought, ‘SCREW THE WALL!’
They Lived Happily Ever After
