This or that and what do you think.

AlteredEgo

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I get that cake making is art+skill. And it takes time to turn a bomb ass cake.
I just don't understand how people fail so miserably. Like, halfway through did they just say fuck it and start throwing icing at the cake?
Sprinkle bomb?
You should see some of my baking failures. I made something my ex refers to as cookie puddle. I read the cookie recipe, KNEW it sounded wrong, saw that the dough looked like batter, and still baked off the cookies. I was so angry. He loved it, and teasingly asks when I'll make another. I had gotten the recipe from a bag of store brand morsels. They must have gotten a lot of complaints. They've fixed the recipe.

I made a cake that kept sliding like Pisa. All the frostings and fillings kept melting. I fucked that up ROYALLY. I had to redo it from scratch.

From my own baking disasters, I can only guess that these people just kept saying every step of the way, "I can fix this."

If you notice in my gallery, dragon cake, his butt is hanging off the cake board. That cake was an entire ode to disaster and heartbreak. But I fixed it. Mostly. It ended up being too big, but you can't tell it was going awry. Sometimes you're right to think you can make the cake work. Sometimes you end up in a video like that one. :joy:
 

soren10

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I'm absolutely disgusted that @soren10 has tried to threaten and silence @AlteredEgo .

I'm just as impressed with and in awe of @AlteredEgo as I usually am :blush:.

Agreed! Ignore :).

Threaten. Don't make me laugh. Can you read English or you just know how to write? Because it appears to be the case with you , which is odd.
 
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Has anyone here ever had the honour of being presented with a cake like any of these?
One year I had a cake that was a blue hat ??? for some reason? I don't know what it was really supposed to be, and it didn't look much like a hat either. It was blue though.
One year I had one with a huge elbow mark in it, where some other kid had tried to rest their elbow on it, not realising there was a cake hiding underneath.
 
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MickeyLee

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One year my Mom had a great cake made for my brother. An amazing cake, camo with a full rack and safety orange pops. She, unfortunately, entrusted the carrying of the cake to me. I tripped and dropped the cake. Still edible, but ass ugly. Back to the bakery, the nice lady whipped a slightly less fabulous camo cake, sans antlers, in almost no time, a true pro. On the way into the house, mom dropped this one. Again, still edible, cuz the box, but in no shape to be served at the party. One last trip to the bakery, who at this point thought she was being pranked and kept looking for cameras. My brother ended up with a plain chocolate cake with his name and happy birthday on it.

What sounds like a tragedy worked out great for all the kids.. there were three full-sized cakes to devour.
 
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One year my Mom had a great cake made for my brother. An amazing cake, camo with a full rack and safety orange pops. She, unfortunately, entrusted the carrying of the cake to me. I tripped and dropped the cake. Still edible, but ass ugly. Back to the bakery, the nice lady whipped a slightly less fabulous camo cake, sans antlers, in almost no time, a true pro. On the way into the house, mom dropped this one. Again, still edible, cuz the box, but in no shape to be served at the party. One last trip to the bakery, who at this point thought she was being pranked and kept looking for cameras. My brother ended up with a plain chocolate cake with his name and happy birthday on it.

What sounds like a tragedy worked out great for all the kids.. there were three full-sized cakes to devour.

3 cakes you say?

My kinda party
 

AlteredEgo

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My first wedding cake was white chocolate. I didn't know what I was doing. Thank GOD for a bride with grace and a sense of humor. I had been invited to her ceremony, but I missed it because I was fighting with her cake. I learned an important lesson. White chocolate takes several hours more, sometimes days more than dark chocolate to set. It also takes dozens more coats to achieve opacity. I was working out of my apartment. I had no blast chiller. Thank goodness for gum paste flowers to hide my many sins. The cake was very pretty, pearly, shiny, covered in flowers. I made a marzipan cake topper at the bride's request. A bride and groom shaped as Puerto Rican coquís.

The cab driver wouldn't turn down his heater, and complained about the snow coming in as I opened all the windows. By the time of delivery (mercifully on time) to the reception, it was partially melted. The caterer tried to help me fix it, and that's when I learned lesson two. Always bring extra material to re-coat the cake. The cake I delivered wasn't completely solidly coated, looked runny in places, and had lost it's sheen. The caterer loaned me a blow torch. Lesson three. Bring a blow torch, and my entire toolbox in case of emergency cake repair. I was able to at least make it shine again. The bride was so nice. So was her mother. Then again, I had charged her cost for the cake, and had told her she was my first bride.

They've been married twelve years. Two years ago she showed me she still has the marzipan frogs. They look exactly as they did on her wedding day. They are displayed in a glass dome in her china cabinet. I was so touched, so honored to be a part of that memory. I jokingly told her they are expired and cannot be safely eaten.
 

AlteredEgo

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My mother had a degree in fine arts. My birthday cakes were all magical. I remember once being asked what I wanted. I said, "candy". She obliged me. I got a chocolate cake that had candy pieces in, had candy filling, and was coated in candy. I now know exactly how badass that cake was. Another time I held up my prized possession, a Strawberry Shortcake doll. Next thing I know my house turns into a fantasy land Strawberry Shortcake everything, including the cake, hand made decorations and invitations. In retrospect, I realize my mother dressed herself as the Purple Pieman, my favorite villain at the time. Damn' I had a good bunch of birthdays. :sun:
 
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LaFemme

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My mother had a degree in fine arts. My birthday cakes were all magical. I remember once being asked what I wanted. I said, "candy". She obliged me. I got a chocolate cake that had candy pieces in, had candy filling, and was coated in candy. I now know exactly how badass that cake was. Another time I held up my prized possession, a Strawberry Shortcake doll. Next thing I know my house turns into a fantasy land Strawberry Shortcake everything, including the cake, hand made decorations and invitations. In retrospect, I realize my mother dressed herself as the Purple Pieman, my favorite villain at the time. Damn' I had a good bunch of birthdays. :sun:
That’s amazing! What fantastic memories!
 
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