It would be cool if we didn’t kink shame.
my issue is “do me subs.”
I tried switching with my ex husband. It always felt like service.
Here’s the funny thing, as both sub and top, I felt I was running the show when it came to what we actually did.
Since then, I learned about dom/mes who do all the planning (control, etc), those who expect the sub to do all the work, and many who split the physical and mental labor.
I wound up in the labor side of the slash 98 percent of the time. It was truly weird.
It's a partnership. Handing one's souls need, over to another soul to fulfill comes with huge trust. The soul you place your trust in not only needs to have the space for others needs, but theirs as well.
It's a working and trusting relationship. It should never be a gamble.
At one time I had pure faith in human obligation and agreement. A hand shake, eye to eye connection and body movements. I carried out work on large amounts as such using intuition alone. In this day and age, intuition and trust is not enough.
We have lowered ourselves to a point where even our own instinct can betray us. Input from everywhere causes us to question everything. Which is ok, but, it's at a point where we trust nothing.
I think, personally, human tech has taken control of us, we can't even trust our own judgement, we now leave it up to others. From here on in, it will be as it comes.
Well, I still trust mine............mostly