Tips For A Woman Dating A Submissive Guy

beachbum1971

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I met a very attractive guy who is interested in dating a dominant woman because he is into submission and wants a woman to pamper. He said he has a small penis but loves to perform oral sex and make his female happy however he can since he also cums fast. I have always had a confident and assertive personality, but jave never met a man like this. One one hand yes, I want to be treated like a queen, but on the other, will it be too weird? What are your experiences with submission straight men?
 

Fredneck1951

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He says it is purely sexual. He has a successful career and seems to have his act together. Doesn’t want someone to mother him or make decisions for him. Just wants to focus on pleasing me in the bedroom.
Well then, what’s not to like, if you think he is a good guy?
 

Ms.M

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with anyone wanting to have BDSM in their life outside of the bedroom. Just because it is not your thing doesn't mean other people have issues, you aresholes.

The Loving Dominant might be worth a read, OP. Also figuring out what types of submission he means. Is he a masochist, is he service oriented, is he into bondage, etc. There's a book titled something like Screw the roses, give me the thorns that isn't half bad either. I may have the title name slightly off, my memory is bad.
 

Ms.M

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If he is not into pain, you could do things like tease/have them edge, orgasm denial, etc. Having him restrained or just obeying your demand of staying in one spot while he watches you masturbate, while not allowed to touch or jerk off too. Depending on the individual face sitting could be a possibility.

If he is into service or pain, totally different story and options.
 

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I met a very attractive guy who is interested in dating a dominant woman because he is into submission and wants a woman to pamper. He said he has a small penis but loves to perform oral sex and make his female happy however he can since he also cums fast. I have always had a confident and assertive personality, but jave never met a man like this. One one hand yes, I want to be treated like a queen, but on the other, will it be too weird? What are your experiences with submission straight men?
So did you end up dating him
 

Brianne_24

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I've had some experiences with submissive men. It was novel, enjoyable at times, but not really something that meets my needs. Men who have prowess at something - their career, intellect, emotional intelligence, lovemaking ability, etc - are most attractive to me depending on their personality. But when they try hard at acting like they have those qualities they don't it becomes an enormous turn-off and I'd rather date someone submissive, even if that's not ideal.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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There's a misconception that submission is always about being 'controlled' sexually. That's not necessarily the case, far from it actually.

I switch. My current (and forever) partner is the only man I've ever fully submitted to I'm the bedroom or otherwise.

Being dominant doesn't require aggression, anger, or beatings. If the person submitting is into that, cool but that's not the key factor in a Dom/sub relationship like so many people tend to think. There's a range.

Some submissives just need to be cared for. They need someone to make decisions for them. A good (imo) Dom doesn't just boss their sub around for no good reason, there's an element of nurture involved.

Like Ms.M said, there's different options for different subs. But I don't suggest going into a relationship like this if you don't have a genuine desire to take control and Dominate someone. If you're not truly into it, you're setting yourself up for a bad time.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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He says it is purely sexual. He has a successful career and seems to have his act together. Doesn’t want someone to mother him or make decisions for him. Just wants to focus on pleasing me in the bedroom.

I know it's been awhile and I don't know if this is still relevant to you but if so I have a couple things to add.

You mention in the first post that he told you he's small and doesn't last long. He sounds like he may be into some level of humiliation if I'm able to speculate. I've been with submissive men who never mentioned their "shortcummings" in that way, so I'd try to find out of that's part of his kink.

If that's not the case (as it may very well not be) he may just want you to direct him as he plays with your body is which ever way you instruct him to. He could go as far as wanting to be bonded and have you "use" him.

There's so much to do, so many ways to do them.
 
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Brianne_24

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Why do so many men with small penises like being humiliated? It's such a bizarre fetish to me lmao. How many women out there who aren't getting paid to do that actually enjoy it? I dated someone for a year and over time it became apparent that it was a thing they were into and it just started feeling like parasocial labor to me.
 
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seventiesdemon

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Why do so many men with small penises like being humiliated? It's such a bizarre fetish to me lmao. How many women out there who aren't getting paid to do that actually enjoy it? I dated someone for a year and over time it became apparent that it was a thing they were into and it just started feeling like parasocial labor to me.
All humans have areas where we are less confident in some places, where others are confident. Humiliation lives in a zone of human evolution as a species I, at my age still find difficult to categorize. I myself am uncomfortable with it, particularly when those who wish it can't define their reasons why they do so.

Boundaries extend far and wide, but unless those who can define their own in this area to a tee.......it can be a minefield for both.

Being wanted and used, is at the other end of the spectrum from being abused and unwanted for me. (don't quote me there...so much can not, can be placed into words which will be misinterpreted if it is) It can lead to destruction of both parties personalities, emotions and lives.

Does someone need help? Is it truly a fetish, a need for their normal existence? Is it sexual play only? Do they need this, or is it a cry for help? So many other questions come to mind. So much can turn to shit. Get it in writing before practice :)

Again, I've never gone into that lane...BDSM...etc yes. I'm not the person if someone wishes to feel unwanted or humiliated. I'm a person who makes humans feel wanted and needed if it's the end result.
 

Scarletbegonia

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It would be cool if we didn’t kink shame.

my issue is “do me subs.”
I tried switching with my ex husband. It always felt like service.
Here’s the funny thing, as both sub and top, I felt I was running the show when it came to what we actually did.
Since then, I learned about dom/mes who do all the planning (control, etc), those who expect the sub to do all the work, and many who split the physical and mental labor.
I wound up in the labor side of the slash 98 percent of the time. It was truly weird.
 

seventiesdemon

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It would be cool if we didn’t kink shame.

my issue is “do me subs.”
I tried switching with my ex husband. It always felt like service.
Here’s the funny thing, as both sub and top, I felt I was running the show when it came to what we actually did.
Since then, I learned about dom/mes who do all the planning (control, etc), those who expect the sub to do all the work, and many who split the physical and mental labor.
I wound up in the labor side of the slash 98 percent of the time. It was truly weird.
It's a partnership. Handing one's souls need, over to another soul to fulfill comes with huge trust. The soul you place your trust in not only needs to have the space for others needs, but theirs as well.

It's a working and trusting relationship. It should never be a gamble.

At one time I had pure faith in human obligation and agreement. A hand shake, eye to eye connection and body movements. I carried out work on large amounts as such using intuition alone. In this day and age, intuition and trust is not enough.

We have lowered ourselves to a point where even our own instinct can betray us. Input from everywhere causes us to question everything. Which is ok, but, it's at a point where we trust nothing.

I think, personally, human tech has taken control of us, we can't even trust our own judgement, we now leave it up to others. From here on in, it will be as it comes.

Well, I still trust mine............mostly :) :)
 
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Tight_N_Juicy

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Why do so many men with small penises like being humiliated? It's such a bizarre fetish to me lmao. How many women out there who aren't getting paid to do that actually enjoy it? I dated someone for a year and over time it became apparent that it was a thing they were into and it just started feeling like parasocial labor to me.

I never got paid for it and used to participate happily in SPH groups here.

I lost interest after awhile but there are women who are into humiliation (receiving and/or giving) without getting paid to do it.

I agree with Scarlet. There's no need to kink shame.
 

seventiesdemon

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I never got paid for it and used to participate happily in SPH groups here.

I lost interest after awhile but there are women who are into humiliation (receiving and/or giving) without getting paid to do it.

I agree with Scarlet. There's no need to kink shame.
No, there is not. It never feels right for me. I'm going with my intuition on that.
Iv'e come across many a kink in my life, it's one of those I place in the "No go zone"
 
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