Too good of Friends to Date

[TheRob]

is this legit in a womans mind or is it what women say to make male friends they think are ugly feel better
I need to know the truth please, it's very important to me don't joke ok

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I have felt that way about guys before. I think the reason it crosses a weird line, at least for me, is that when I become really good friends with a guy, he sort of turns into a brother for me. Having sex with my brother isn't something I want to do. In fact, one of my BEST FRIENDS from high school asked me out once, and I turned him down for that very reason. I loved him but I couldn't see him that way. We'd been to good of friends for too long, it would have just been awkward for me. It felt icky. Lol.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Sometimes I've said it because it was true, sometimes I've just not been attracted to him.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Usually if I'm REALLY good friends with a guy, I just don't see him in a sexual way. We're . . . well, friends!

I do have to admit to using it as an out once. Not because I thought he was ugly, but again, because I just didn't see him sexually (although we were only good friends, not at the REALLY good friends point).

 

[B_Sexual_Harrassment_Panda]

The definition of ugly varies from person to person. What one woman might think is a train wreck, another woman will find that same guy a God. If I can't find myself to be sexually attracted to a person, I'll straight up tell that person. And that goes for women as well as men.

There are some friendships between a man and a woman that the woman needs on a level above physical. Does it mean that she thinks you are butt-ugly? No, not necessarily, you could just not be reaching that spot that can turn a woman on physically.

 

[LaFemme]

Ugly has nothing to do with it, but I used that phrase because I was not attracted to someone I was friends with. Physically, there was absolutely nothing unattractive about them - it was just that I was not attracted to them. I preferred them as a friend.

 

[EllieP]

I really never had an ugly friend. I'm serious when I say that. And I've seen ugly people, but it has more to do with actions than looks.

Yes, I have many male friends that I've never, ever thought about in a sexual way. I just don't. I can't explain it.

I have a gay friend who is super attractive, and my husband has asked me more than a couple of times if he wasn't gay if I would be tempted by him. I always tell him that he's a friend, gay or straight I don't care. I asked if he was tempted by him and he clammed up! LOL! A little bi-curious maybe? He told me he finds him very attractive, but he's not into guys. I told him I found him very attractive too, but I'm not into friends.

 

[TheRob]

so basically, it could go either way

 

[molotovmuffin]

I think you have to take each person at face value. What I mean is, do you trust the person as being honest or do you know for a fact that they tell stories or lie.


I've personally never told anyone that we were to good of friends to have sex or be lovers or whatever. I have told people that I wasn't attracted to them sexually and didn't want to have sex with them. Personally, I'd rather hurt your feelings that way than to lie. I know not everyone thinks like I do though and may well rather save your feelings over the truth.

So, if you know a person well enough to know their habits about lying to others or not being straight forward or if their a completely honest person, then you should have your answer.

 

[B_Evie]

If she was attracted to you, she would date you. EOS.

The reasons why she is not could take up a whole page of things. It could anything from she doesn't like men who bite their nails, to she is not attracted to your personality. It could be anything really. Chemistry is so important. If we're not feeling it, then we're not going to date you.

 

[lottie]

It all boils down to chemistry, as in we can get on and have a great laugh with a guy, but just don't feel the chemistry that makes us want to become more than friends.

I once met up with a guy for a couple of dates and felt he was not for me as a potential partner, so I did wimp out and tell him that I felt we could only be friends.

 

[MsImperfect]

The friend could look like a troll or some underwear model - if there's no chemistry or attraction there, they'll know. Looks don't always play a part in the decision to keep someone in the friend zone..

 

[Young N Sassy]

I have good looking guy friends, sure. In fact my female friends tend to get googly eyed over the company I keep. However, for me, there is a huge difference between someone I'd date vs. someone I consider like a brother. If we don't have an initial connection, he stays in the friend category. I've never had an interest in any of my male friends. That's why I could never understand how people eventually end up dating their best friend. Those thoughts never, I mean never, cross my mind!

 

[TheRob]

If she was attracted to you, she would date you. EOS.

The reasons why she is not could take up a whole page of things. It could anything from she doesn't like men who bite their nails, to she is not attracted to your personality. It could be anything really. Chemistry is so important. If we're not feeling it, then we're not going to date you.

nonsequitor

 

[TinyPrincess]

is this legit in a womans mind or is it what women say to make male friends they think are ugly feel better
I need to know the truth please, it's very important to me don't joke ok

I've turned down several good friends - I might miss out on Mr. Right, but why risk losing a great friend.

 

[HiddenLacey]

If I just want to be friends with a man it could mean a few things.

I'm not attracted to him, doesn't mean he's ugly, just means I'm not attracted.

He is off limits, which puts him in the friend zone permanently.

He dated a friend, which also puts him in the friend zone permanently.

 

[LaFemme]

If I just want to be friends with a man it could mean a few things.

I'm not attracted to him, doesn't mean he's ugly, just means I'm not attracted.

He is off limits, which puts him in the friend zone permanently.

He dated a friend, which also puts him in the friend zone permanently.

I forgot those! Good point - I just cannot date a guy who dated a friend, it just icks me out.

Btw, :hug: missed you!

 

[HiddenLacey]

I forgot those! Good point - I just cannot date a guy who dated a friend, it just icks me out.

Btw, :hug: missed you!

Missed you too, :hug:,

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

This actually a bs excuse at least for me. If a girl is into you physically and mentally - she will date you if she is single.

I only use it for two reasons:
1. I think the guy is too much of a player or something or he has some reason I think he's not into me enough and so I'd rather not risk it
2. There is some major reason I'm not into him (he smokes, i'm not attracted physically, etc) and I know it wouldn't work out but I'd still like him in my life.