How come? You know what slurs are. You know what bullying is. You know what official terms are. For example, if a group of gay men called themselves f*gs to reclaim the word f*gg*t for themselves, would it be acceptable for an outsider to use that term to their face or behind their back? No. Would a white person use the N word to POC who may have reclaimed the word? I hope the answer is no. A slur is a slur is a slur. As an adult you should have the knowledge of what is right and wrong, surely!
The problem is that you just picked
the two most obvious examples. Sure,
some derogatory words are so well known that it can be expected that one just know them. But others are apparently less well known as offensive.
The example of "Paki" came up earlier in this thread, and I understand someone in American culture not being brought up to be aware of that being offensive to some. Testimonies of experiences with "***nny" indicate such is somewhat the case with that term.
I'll mention a couple other examples. I grew up using the term "gypped" to refer to being swindled or cheated. Though retrospectively it the connection is pretty clear, I had never considered that it was a derogatory term. Part of that is because I didn't know how to spell it. Last year, a friend pointed out to me that I should be careful with my usage of the term. I got well into my adult years without being aware of the background of it. The other example is "crip". I grew up with my family casually referring to things related to physical handicaps with this term, e.g. "crip parking". Again, we all just saw this as silly, and I never had any basis for thinking that it could be demeaning. Only just now reflecting on it have I started to consider that may be the case.
There may be a handful of words that are sufficiently obvious such that it wouldn't be necessary to list them, but most derogatory terms are not so commonly obvious that it wouldn't merit identifying them, especially if there are going to be pockets of people that are not aware of the issues with these terms, and yet are going to be expected to not use them.
