Why And How Often Do You Block People On Grindr/other Sites?

[matelalique]

While updating Grindr, I noticed a review complaining about the app because of a (bullshit) restriction on number of blocks each day.

Some people are using the "block" option differently to me - I might ignore or stop responding to other users, or tell them I'm not interested, but I use blocking for the truly abusive/stalker/creepy/former partners. So I am blocking maybe one person per month. I can imagine being my hot 21yo self and needing to apply the cattle prod to a couple of people a day, but not exceeding whatever block limit a site applies.

How old are you (round up to the nearest decade if necessary)? What makes you block someone on a site like Grindr/Manhunt? How many blocks do you typically make? How many do you think would be a useful amount?

 

[7053701]

How old are you (round up to the nearest decade if necessary)?

Sorry, not relevant.

What makes you block someone on a site like Grindr/Manhunt? How many blocks do you typically make? How many do you think would be a useful amount?

• I block the persistent
• the people who have blank profiles that fish for my pics
• the ones that immediately show their spread ass or cock paired with a "wanna fuck/suck?" message and nothing else
• people who I get the feeling are sex addicts
• people who are unsafe/advertise breeding
• people whose profile is filled with landscaping pictures but none of them
• the ignorant/rude "no fems, no fats, be fit, be hung, be this this and this, and not these" people

I just realized I could go on so I stopped.

I'm one of those people that doesn't need more space, but an infinite block list.

See, anonymous online activity has also bred nasty behavior, and it seems to get worse as time rolls on. Thankfully I can read people fairly well, so I don't have to engage for an overly long period of time before I nip that in the bud. That doesn't make me a bad person when I utilize the block feature; it means my ability to filter out the bullshit is well honed.

Be a decent person. Don't play games. Engage in some conversation first. Don't surprise me, and let me see who you are before we meet.

I don' think those are hard to manage.

 

[Brodie888]

I haven't used apps for a long time but back then people block others because they don't want to pay for premium membership to get full access, so in order to get more likely matches within the free number of visible profiles, they'd use the block function.

 

[winesthel945]

What makes you block someone on a site like Grindr/Manhunt? How many blocks do you typically make? How many do you think would be a useful amount?

Apps like Grindr, Scruff, etc., only show you a certain number of people in your vicinity unless you pay for the full-feature service. To get around this, some people will use the block feature to whittle away at the "uninteresting" people near them in order to see more new people within the max number the system shows you for free. As a result, some people will block many dozens of people to "remove" them from their viewing grid.

Personally, I pay for some of the apps in order to get greater controls, such as privacy, more photos, etc. As a result I have pretty much unlimited blocks. I then use that to get rid of:

* anyone I am not really interested in
* anyone I am interested in but who is unresponsive to me
* anyone whose profile I'm just tired of seeing in my area
* anyone with anything stupid or offensive in their profile or photos (racial slurs, bigoted statements, MAGA hats, etc.)
* anyone who seems like they're a pic collector
* anyone with photos of them smoking (just a personal distaste)
* anyone who can't keep up a conversation or is just "looking?"

But those are just my personal criteria... YMMV.

 

[cedarizzo]

When I am on Grindr, I use the block button often. If I am on there, it is only for a hookup, I am not looking for dating, relationships, or people to hang out with. I am very open about that in my profile. I have never reached any block limit and I didn't even know there was one. So they must have blocked a LOT of people.

I pay for Grindr now, but when I didn't pay, you can only see a limited number of people in your area. I used to block everybody that I wasn't interested in or I knew wasn't interested in me. This would show me more people that there might be a

- Overly persistent people
- People who will not take 'No' for an answer
- People that I know right up front that I will never have any interest in (crossdressers or very young or very old or immature)
- People who are advertising for drugs or anyThing wiTh ThaT capiTal T
- People who are either catfishing or have no pictures but expect you to supply them with pictures
- People I have been with before and I have absolutely no desire to repeat
- People who lie to me or try to catfish me or have very fake or very old pictures of themselves
- People who do not read my profile and then ask for the opposite of what I said I am interested in (example: my profile says I am a bottom, I get a lot of "total" bottoms that message me looking to hookup)

 

[51arledge]

I don't use blocks much at all. Maybe I should try using them more?

Other than the guys who hit me up from Moscow, or Lagos, or Qatar (really?), I have only blocked:
* One guy who just bored the crap out of me and was then persistent about seeing me again.
* A former FB who got back in touch, but was very bitter that I was not interested in seeing him again even though he moved 2 hours away.
* A former FB who left me for his "dream" husband who lasted 6 months, and then wanted me to uproot my life and career to move to his new location.
* A beloved former FB who dumped me and whom I could not get out of my head. I needed to get some distance between us and stop checking his profile every day.

 

[7053701]

- People who do not read my profile and then ask for the opposite of what I said I am interested in (example: my profile says I am a bottom, I get a lot of "total" bottoms that message me looking to hookup)

I detest that. The profile description is very limited in character length. Just read it, dammit.

There is a guy who always messages me in this city I travel to. Always. It is the same situation that you describe, yet he always seems surprised and disappointed, like something magical is going to happen one day and I'll be a top.

Another guy, a creepy little fellow, always starts with, "Hello Sir". He's like one of the SPH guys here who takes you down a short garden path to his fetish, and you end up feeling like you need a shower in bleach afterwards. I picture him looking like Salad Fingers.

And then there is that really. persistent. bareback leather silver daddy whose opening is to bombard you with 6-9 of his pics as soon as he sees my profile when I get back into his area. Picture Wilford Brimley, in leather gear, with close-ups of his cock. Yeah.

 

[Cum_is_Great]

I don't use the apps because I am one of the people everyone uses the block button on as I am an undesirable (black, morbid obese, prefer to get to know each other instead of ONS, neither top nor bottom or verse). But when I did use the apps, I never blocked anyone other than the extremely persistent, messaging multiple times a day everyday after I explained I wasn't interested.

It's much much much easier for me to deal with people than most apparently as I never felt the need to block someone. *shrug*

 

[cedarizzo]

I detest that. The profile description is very limited in character length. Just read it, dammit.

There is a guy who always messages me in this city I travel to. Always. It is the same situation that you describe, yet he always seems surprised and disappointed, like something magical is going to happen one day and I'll be a top.

Another guy, a creepy little fellow, always starts with, "Hello Sir". He's like one of the SPH guys here who takes you down a short garden path to his fetish, and you end up feeling like you need a shower in bleach afterwards. I picture him looking like Salad Fingers.

And then there is that really. persistent. bareback leather silver daddy whose opening is to bombard you with 6-9 of his pics as soon as he sees my profile when I get back into his area. Picture Wilford Brimley, in leather gear, with close-ups of his cock. Yeah.

I think I have been messaged by each the local version of each one of these guys. I am sure they are pretty standard everywhere.
There is a guy who always messages me in this city I travel to - I kept getting messages from a guy from Cincinnati. He always let me know that he was interested, but my problem is Cincinnati is a 4 hour drive. I never understood why he would try to hookup with me. I blocked him on a website and he would get a new account and message me again. I stopped using the website and he found me on one of the apps (I think it was Growlr). He started messaging me there. I told him I wasn't interested and I would block him. A few weeks later, he would reappear. I don't know if he got a new account, new phone, but he would start over. I finally stopped using the app because of him and another guy (which I will mention at the end).


As for Another guy, a creepy little fellow, always starts with, "Hello Sir" - I have a similar guy. He lives about 20 miles away, but he is always looking at my profile. His profile says he is a "total bottom" (he is the one I was thinking about when I typed my original message but I still haven't blocked him yet) and he let's me know each time that he is looking for tops. So each time, I let him know that my profile says I am also looking for tops. He always seems so disappointed but then he wants to come over to get sucked and maybe top me. He did come over one time, I did suck his dick, but he never got fully hard. I think being a total bottom, he wasn't ready to not get fucked and couldn't get into it. I haven't blocked him yet, but it just isn't going


The really. persistent. bareback leather silver daddy reminds me of a married straight guy who was desperately always looking for somebody to suck him off. I tried to talk to him one time and each time I sent him a message, I would get anywhere from 5 to 10 pictures in response. He never answered my questions. So I just stopped messaging him and in response I started getting picture after picture after picture... When I finally blocked him, he had sent me over 50 pictures all of his cock and nothing else. I think after 2 or 3 pictures I get the idea of what your cock looks like. 50 pictures later, nothing has changed except for my willingness to meet. Buh-bye!

The last guy I will add is a guy that was on Growlr. When my 2nd boyfriend died and right before I started dating my 3rd boyfriend, I hooked up with a local guy. This guy was hot! Definitely my top of guy. He was about 10 years older than me, 6' tall, about 225-ish on weight, super hairy and a nice big cock. This guy was a big huge teddy bear, super nice, fun to chat with and lots of fun in bed. We hooked up a few times before he told me that he had a boyfriend. They had been together for about 20 years. And I knew his boyfriend. I met his boyfriend about 5 years earlier and his boyfriend was a snarky bitchy queen that was always trying to hookup with me. We went to lunch one time and I was not impressed. He knew I was working at the adult bookstore at the time, and when I went there after lunch, he followed me hoping to hookup with me. I told him I wasn't interested and he threw had a tantrum in the store. I stopped seeing the really hot guy when I found out that he not only had a boyfriend but also who his boyfriend was. When I started using Growlr about 5 years ago, I kept having a local guy look at my profile without sending a message. His profile was blank and had no pictures. I sent him a message but he would not respond. I had no idea who it was, and for a while I thought it was my ex (or one of his friends). Eventually the guy finally messaged me. It was the really hot guy. He immediately let me know how much he enjoyed when we had been together and he was hoping it could happen again. I asked him if he was still with his boyfriend and he told me that they were still together. I let him know then it wasn't going to happen. But each time I would sign in, he would be online and start messaging me. And the messages were always the same. "I would like to meet up with you again." "Are you still with him?" "Yes, we are still together." "The answer is no." Finally one day, I decided to see how serious he was or if he was just all chat. So when he said he would like to see me again, I told him, "Okay, when can you come over?" He started giving me excuses about how he doesn't know if he can get away from the boyfriend and he doesn't know when he would have time and he isn't sure when it could happen. I replied back "I am done with this conversation. Good luck with your boyfriend. Good bye!" And after I saw that he had read the message, I blocked him. I don't have time for his games.

 

[matelalique]

Since someone was upset by the age question in my OP - I was essentially wondering out loud whether there is a generational difference in how we use these apps. I suspect millennials view blocking as part of the functionality of the app as described above, while GenXers (like myself) use it as a tool of last resort. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

 

[Player_01]

I suppose some it would be based on popularity, I don't get as many engagements on apps as a twink might

I don't do it a lot but when I do, I see it as a tool to use. Guys get too aggressive and it's very easy to just block and move on. Also there's usually a limit to free profiles viewed, so it makes it easier to move on to other guys when undesirables are blocked. Also they don't need to waste their time trying to get with me.

 

[LPSG Simon]

So many reasons...

I think as far as limits go, they are likely brought in by the developers to limit people getting more results by blocking like almost everyone. It's kind of like a doughnut or black hole theory (sorry lol):

Picture it like a concentric circle, where the more people you eliminate the more people flood into your grid. If not for the limits, it's honestly a good way to get around the limited results that free members have.

My most satisfying blocks are the ones who get pissed off that you dont reply in like 0.0002 seconds, and toss off a passive aggressive comment, like "guess not", or "I tried".... Something like that.

Instant red flag there. Like, chill buddy. I was eating.

I had one a few weeks back who came at me with a SECOND profile (same pic) just to tell me that I didn't have to block him. He was one of these fast-trackers (Im never in a hurry on these things), and he lived over an hour away and didn't drive. So basically (without me proposing any plans), he was already talking about having to spend all day in order to make a communte-date worth it (no, you're already pushy - Im not going to get in a situation where Im stuck with you all day). Over the course of about 12 hours (this was over a work day), he called me out for not responding fast enough, AND doubled down when I told him that I had been busy that day, by saying he "could see my green dot". I was done at that point. I actually woke up in the middle of the night, and saw that he wasn't online to see it happen in real-time, and blocked him. I woke the next morning to a scolding message from the second profile that ended in the passive-aggressive "peace".

Piqued at this point, I told him that I felt that he was being too forward, and that he'd crossed a line by disclosing that he'd been tracking my usage of the app. Then he told me again I didnt have to block him because he'd stopped talking to me (he hadn't - but also: The Irony!).

What was jarring about the whole interaction is that I realized that in order to message me again after blocking me he must have had to use the remote map search function to find my profile. This wasnt a dude in my neighbourhood, which means that I guess he must have been playing virtual tourist in the first place, but also had figured out where I live in order to find me again (my city is big, his isn't).

Digressing there, but the ones who pull little stunts like assuming you have the thing grafted to your brain give me the most satisfaction to block.