When I first started clubbing, I used to go to one of the biggest mainstream clubs, but I'd go in through the queer party. It was awesome. The queer party had 80's music, two fountains, and an open bar for 21+ until midnight. Also, I could gain entry wearing jeans, sneakers, and a soccer shirt. I'd have had to wear a flashy dress and heels to get into any other party in there. It was 3 stories, half a city block, and once in, I could go to ALL the parties if I wanted. But I really only wanted to be at the queer party. The club was called the Tunnel. If you Google, you will find out how scary it was in the rest of the club. Drugs, and sexual assaults were normal. But Kurfew, the party I attended, always felt safe.
Anyway, in the group of us who went to Kurfew every week was a trans woman, though we didn't have that language at the time. I wish I had a deeper understanding at the time of how liberated and terrified she was. I didn't know she was a woman. She didn't have the language to explain to me that the man I knew the rest of the week was a mask, and she was the woman I partied with every weekend.
She liked one of the mainstream parties that played techno. She liked the guys there. I had a boyfriend anyway, and hated club guys in straight venues, but every week I let her drag me into the techno room. Every woman I have ever brought into the techno room wore flattering feminine attire and got groped a lot. A few were pushed against walls and kissed. Nothing ever happened to me. I was about 50 pounds overweight, and under all that fat I was incredibly strong from daily endurance swimming and calisthenics. In no way were my ample curves concealed, but I was a fat woman in a soccer shirt and jeans, surrounded by lean women in tiny cocktail dresses, and I clearly was comfortable not conforming to the standard. Nobody messed with me, and when they accosted my ladies I ruined their weekend for them. I guess that's why she always chose me to accompany her to the techno room. Or was it?
Every time men danced up to us, they really wanted to be dancing with her. My presence was tolerated. LOL But whenever they started to feel her up, she would transfer their hands to my body so they wouldn't learn too much about her male body. I was a foot taller than she was, and outweighed her by 100 pounds, AND outsized her stuffed bra by 3 cup sizes. Still, she just always faced my back and put their hands on me. I tolerated this to keep her from getting beaten to death.
These dudes never seemed to know. How could they not know?! I was a whole person bigger than she! But they loved touching her body and told her so, some expressing surprise that she was so soft. Jeebus.
So yeah. I do not trust the ability of dudes to spot shapewear. They don't even know how high nor how firm a tiny body's curves should be, if the room is dark enough.
