Your Orgasmic Response

[Jonesy98]

Hey guys,

I've got a problem: I can't climax from sex. If you want the details you can read here http://www.lpsg.org/62125-anyone-else-have-this-problem.html

Anways, I've started this thread up in an effort to try and shed some more light. I'd like to know, in detail, what your orgasmic response is... positions you like in any certain order, durations in each, do you climax without any manual stimulation or do you get kinda close and finish yourself off? etc etc etc. I know it's different for everyone, but I really have no concept of what it's like outside of online video, and even then it's edited to the point where it's impossible to really tell.

Thanks to all who join in. Your insight could be the tidbit I need!

 

[fak_et]

I have a hard time orgasming during sex too. But I came to a solution eventually. I can cum from oral and when im on my back tensing up my muscles. We usually go for a while bangin and eventually when she is satisfied she makes sure to finish me off. I just get on my back and she does the work. Thinner comdoms help too.

 

[Jonesy98]

bump!

 

[crossy]

I usually can orgasm from the gallery.

 

[B_Artful Dodger]

A mate of mine had a similar problem... he seemed to grow out of it as he gained experience. Maybe you will too.
Good luck :smile:

 

[stiphphiphatumus]

it's not that you can't climax from sex, it's more that you said that you can't. change your way of thinking and things may change a bit. you have free will of your body, take advantage of it while you can: the ultimate playground!

 

[Jonesy98]

Bumping, and I'm gonna be a bit more specific in hopes that maybe I'll find what I'm looking for.

Reason for posting this thread: I cannot replicate my "wanking it by myself" orgasmic response when I'm making love.

By myself it goes something like this:

Erection, start stroking with my right hand. Start slow, and over the course of a few minutes work up to a decent pace. My breathing gets deep and rhythmic, and the closer I get, I start to hold it. My left arm starts to tense up and usually grips something. That arm is probably the reason I have so much trouble in the sack. It stays in its rigid position, and I find that without that arm stiff, I have trouble climaxing. So.... I keep at it, muscles get tighter, and I can feel my semen coming up through the pipes. Maybe a minute later all the tension is released as I pop one off.

My problem is that I cannot find a way to replicate this sequence and this feeling while having intercourse with a woman, so I'd like to know what your orgasmic response is when you're by yourself, and how that translates or alters when you're with another.

Thanks to all those that contribute!

 

[sounder1]

This was a problem I faced for a long time when having oral sex. It always felt good but I couldn't cum easily. I had to learn to relax more and enjoy the pleasure and not worry about cumming. Now I can cum easier when getting a bj. Also I have found that orgasms are different from a bj, a jo and a vagina. Each has it's own pluses and sensations.

 

[Ramsey]

I've only had one orgasm from a bj, and admittedly it was one of the first times I was with a woman so I was nervous and maybe not enjoying it as much, but a bj orgasm seems the "least" to me. I can get a more "intense" session from j/o than a vagina, but it is not as satisfying. And an orgasm in the vagina is the best. Part of me was going to say that maybe you just needed a tighter gripping vagina, one of my exes had a shallow vagina and I would push the head into the area past the cervix and it was so tight it felt like the head was on fire (wonderful fire mind you). I couldn't last long there, but sometimes I would be doing her prone bone and just raise myself up and let gravity drive me into her. By the way she was sounding she was loving it, but sadly I couldn't keep the pace up before I'd have to stop cuz the pressure was building faster than a rocket.
But I don't think tightness is the problem for you, sounds more like you've "gotten a routine" built up for your orgasm and you can't have one from sheer pleasure or spontaneity.

 

[Jonesy98]

Bump... same old same old... lend a hand!

 

[FuzzyKen]

The first thing you need to do is to in all reality rule out medical causes. Problems with ejaculation usually are NOT in your brain, they are physiological. There are many OTC drugs which can have effects on this as well as Rx based drugs as well. There is a common antihistamine which will play absolute havoc with both erections and ability to ejaculate.

In my own case when my ED was in the early stages Viagra became an exercise in frustration. Viagra would allow me to have at that time a decent erection, but, it also would totally screw with my ability to ejaculate. What would happen was penetration, a ton of humping and I would get just to the edge and was not able to get "over" that edge in intercourse. I could do it with masturbation and Viagra, but after penetration it became a futile effort.

I have had some self discoveries recently. A very recent medical examination determined that my hormone panel relating to sex was a mess. In spite of a "Wookie like" appearance my testosterone level was found to be at the bottom end of normal. Even worse my DHT level was found to be extremely low, my estrogen was slightly elevated and my prolactin levels were also elevated somewhat. I am currently on testosterone cream but my MD is probably going to change me over to injectable because I can give myself an IM without problems. I will be on periodic doses of gonadotropin and I will be taking anti-estrogens and a prolactin inhibitor. You don't even want to guess what all this is going to cost. The testosterone is cheap. The worst one is the prolactin inhibitor which is over $40 per pill bought from US pharmacies. Fortunately I only get 4 pills per month. These are cut in half and taken twice per week. What I have found so far is that not only has there been a slight improvement in my ED, there is been improvement in other areas too.

One of the first symptoms I had in my journey into ED by the way was a lessening of sensation and a greater difficulty in achieving ejaculation/orgasm.

The erection at that point had not diminished enough to stop penetration, but, the reduced vascular pressure in the CC of the penis evidently did not act correctly and sensation was reduced. Just like you I could at that time J/O and do just great, but, penetrate and it was more difficult.

Personally I would go to the MD just as a preventative. Get the following checked: Serum Testosterone, Free Floating Testosterone, DHT, Estrogen, and Prolactin. If any of these levels are abnormal it can have an effect.

 

[drac]

If I wasn't concerned about getting my girl pregnant sometime soon, I think for me this would be a great problem to have. But I can have orgasms without cumming, or climaxing, at least that is what i assume you mean, cumming. You should look into tantra and stuff like that, if you could achieve orgasm without cumming and find enjoyment in it and stay hard, i am sure you would be a pretty good lay to most of the ladies out there. Keep your head up and do your research. Look into supplements like L-Arginine, Lecithin, Evening Primrose and Tyrosine, add a little Saw Palmetto. Of course if you aren't fit or allergic to anything you will want to check with your doctor as I am not one, just letting you know what keeps my unit super sensative. Also look into Edging and Ballooning, this will help you build the swimmers up. Dont give up or be discourage, you could consider your issue somewhat of a gift, you just need a tune up, that's all.

 

[RawDog]

I agree with what FuzzyKen wrote. Disqualify the health factors first.

I find myself with the same problem as you sometimes. This is expecially true if I can get past the first 10 minutes of PIV sex with my wife. At this point, my penis isn't overly sensitive to the texture of her vagina, so when she gets to the point I have to cum, it gets difficult.

This may work for you, this sometimes works for me... Slow down all your motion, stop if you have to. This re-sensitizes the nerves down there. Then switch to a position that puts a lot of axial stress on your cock to maximize the stimulation around your most sensitive spot (ie your cockhead). With my wife and I we switch to doggy with her head lower than her butt. This gives her vaginal barrel a downward "bow" making it an even tighter fit.

We start off slow, then we build up to a steady rhythm. This makes it a lot easier to cum for me.

 

[uberhund]

I would respectfully disagree with some of the comments here, Jonesy, because if you can come by yourself (which you say you can) then it probably isn't a physical problem.

I had this issue too, and it's not an uncommon one. The usual approach to take for it (which certainly worked for me) is to approach it by degrees, the first of which is usually to have a partner hold you while you bring yourself off, then graduate to 'helping hands' (balls and perineum stroking for example) and gradually releasing more and more action to the other person.

Having said that, I still often come that way during sex: I really enjoy fucking and blowjobs, but my favourite orgasm is to bring myself off while someone licks my balls. A fair number of guys like a 'pornstar finish' (bringing themself off with assistance after fucking), so I'm happy to put myself in that category!

Hope that's helpful!

 

[Jonesy98]

Update... after 4.5 years it just got to be too much. She decided she wanted to sleep with a bigger dick, so now I have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with that.

We're done and I just want to drown my memories of her in a night with a total stranger. Doesn't look like that's gonna happen anytime soon... I've blown all my recent attempts at what seemed to be "shoe-in" lays.

I finally had an orgasm from sex... but it's not easy. I have to pound away, tighten every muscle in my body, give myself an aneurysm, etc. It's happened maybe 20 times or so since September of last year. I usually just get crippling migraine and have to call it quits.

I just wanna lay on my back and be brought to ecstasy for once in my life... is this a pipe dream? Can any of you just relax while your partner brings you to orgasm?

This shit is really old. I'm bout to lose my mind.

 

[unabear09]

HAve you visited a doctor about this? First go to a urlogist. If they can't help, go to a shrink. There has to be some solution to this.

I noticed you're 100% straight. I'm not sure how to say this but have you ever tried prostate play? Invest in a Aneros prostate massager. Lube up, stick it in, and then start having sex. You should be able to tell a massive difference using a device like this, and I'm sure in no time, you'll be orgasming like theres no tomorrow

 

[Jonesy98]

Never tried it... done finger play... was fun, just a knuckle though, so probably no real prostate action. Just a little pressure.

 

[DeepDish]

There is a great blog on this issue and how to correct it:


Treatment Regime for Retarded Ejaculation

Treatment Regime for Retarded Ejaculation

This blog provides a small insight into my sexual life, which was initially filled with frustration as I continually failed to climax from vaginal penetration. It outlines the steps I took to overcome this problem, which hopefully will be of assistance to others facing the same dysfunction.