A scenario?

[KTF40]

Say that you are in a committed relationship with a man. This man openly tells that he is going to go have sex with another woman. There is nothing you can say or do to make him change his mind. He still wants to be in a relationship with you, but just wants to have sex with this other woman.

Would this bother you? If so, why?

Like be specific. So for example, saying it just bothers you he is going to have sex with someone else isn't what I'm looking for. More curious about what specifically bothers you about him having sex with someone else.

Edit: Also for the sake of this question, assume your sex life is great with this man. Never has been any problems.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

Yes, I would be upset. Call it territorial, but when I'm in love with a guy, I want him to be MY guy. The idea of his penis being in another woman grosses me out and makes me not want to touch it/see it anymore. Also, the idea of him just telling me he's going to do it is a pretty dick move. We wouldn't be in a relationship after that.

 

[EllieP]

One word: Goodbye.

Sex is for "us." Not me - not him. It's something we share only between ourselves. If there's something he needs, and I can give it to him I'll move heaven and earth to do it. If I can't deliver, and he absolutely wants it, then we have to work on a compromise or agree to go our separate ways.

Absolutely no way would I share my man with another woman or man. I've been cheated on before, and if he were honest with me from the beginning it would have saved a whole bunch of nastiness, and we would have called it quits amicably, if that's even possible.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Agree with Ellie. Goodbye. Please, enjoy your time with other women, have a lovely time. Be careful, wish you well....

If I am in a relationship with a man, he's mine. MINE, as I am his. I suppose it would bother me for many different reasons. First the idea of him touching another women would make me feel sick. It would hurt my feelings, destroy his chance of ever having a place in my heart. If I'm not the person he wants to have sex with then I don't think he should be with me. He doesn't get to have sex with me and continue to experiment with other women. It's not enough for me.

However, the idea of him telling me would make me happy. Honestly, it would be easier to understand why he wasn't right for me and easier to tell him goodbye.

 

[Kotchanski]

I would be bothered on several levels.

I'm assuming this isn't an open relationship with rules already discussed and set, this is a bog standard closed relationship (I'm assuming based on how you've worded your question, I may be wrong)

Firstly, no one, male or female gets to tell me how something is going to be without discussion and mutual agreement. That isn't a relationship, that's being a door mat, something which I am not and will never be.

Secondly, when you enter into a relationship with me, you do so on the understanding that other women aren't an option. I have always been honest and open about my jealousy issues, my distrust when it comes to the use of protection that I'm not personally in control of, and that if you are looking for a relationship where you can see other women, they you need to be moving on, I'm not the woman for you.

I'm territorial, possessive, don't trust anyone and get very nasty when people get too close to what is mine. This is why I'm upfront about it, easier for you to make sure you're not getting into something you can't stick to, and gives me all the justification I need to do what I feel is required should you take those steps.

 

[Enid]

I would be upset, and I would say goodbye.

I am only interested in sexual monogamy. It is what suits me and is what would suit my ideal partner. Why, you may ask? It's what I want on a deeper emotional level. Sex with one person. It takes a tsunami to get me to open up physically, intimately. I like the idea of sharing the intimate stuff with someone who gets that and respects that and who feels the same way about her or his own sexual expression.

Sex to me is such a private thing. It is raw, passionate, devoted, liberating, a whole host of other adjectives i am at a loss for. That sense of privacy though, that is an underlying theme which ties it all together.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

It wouldn't bother me, but I would take it to mean we could both fuck another person and I hope he would understand there's "nothing [he could] say or do to make [me] change [my] mind."

Now, I am not possessive, nor do I feel I own my partner. But, the stuff that matters to me - communication, respect, mutual agreement - would be violated by his edict. So while the sex on the side wouldn't matter, his attitude would... but I'd still get in my free-fuck card before dumping him.

Edit: Also for the sake of this question, assume your sex life is great with this man. Never has been any problems.

:shrug: I can find great sex elsewhere. In fact, I know precisely where to find it. :biggrin1:

 

[MickeyLee]

*blink* i don't do ultimatums or manipulation.

even in an open relationship his attitude would be offensive,, not his intended humpy-bumpy with another woman. disrespect riles me ire.

what Ms. FLAG said.

:shrug: I can find great sex elsewhere. In fact, I know precisely where to find it. :biggrin1:

i am a sexual dynamo.
where i get nekkid good sex is to be found.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

I love and respect myself more than the douche bag, I walk away. Go fuck the woman all he wants.