Advice for anal

[john701010]

Hi guys,

I’m new posting here although I’ve been navigating in this forum for years. I’d need some advice.

I’m currently in a stable gay relationship, and a top. I would like to explore the other way around, but it has always been uncomfortable for me. Furthermore, my boyfriend has no precum at all, so lubrification is a really important topic.

Even when I try to finger myself, I am super tight and can’t relax.

- how to proceed to manage to relax, manage to actually put even a finger, and to enjoy ?
- do I need sextoys to at least train by myself ? And which ones ?
- what lubricant would you recommand ?

We’ve tried many times with my boyfriend, but it hurts almost everytime.. because I’m not relaxed I think.

Thanks !

 

[Brodie888]

Try the contract relax method. Use lots of lube on your finger. Clench your hole as tight as you can for 5 seconds then relax. As you relax, try to insert an inch of finger into your ass. Then HOLD. Do not withdraw your finger. You may not get an inch in, just stop pushing when your hole clamps down. Then repeat the process until you get your whole finger in. Once your whole finger is in, jiggle it around a bit until you get used to that.

Then try to get two fingers in via the same process and so on until you get 3 fingers in.

Once you master that, try a thin vibrator.

Each session needs to begin with one finger then gradually ramping up the girth as you go along.

Once you learn how to relax, you will be able to skip steps and get to cock size girth quickly.

I would recommend doing this practice in the shower. The warm water will help you relax as well as making clean up easy.

Once you are comfortable with the process, consider having your partner blow you with a finger in your ass. You may need to teach him to go slow and find where your prostate is. Have him press down on your prostate with his finger as you cum.

When you feel confident to try penetration, try positions where you are on top so you can control the depth and speedof penetration.

I would always recommend using lube to a noob. Nobody produces enough precum for anal. Also reapply regularly if you feel friction burn sensation.

 

[winesthel945]

Search in these forums for posts about buttplugs; there are several threads full of tips and recommendations.

 

[BC22x15]

If you play in the shower, don't use soap as a lubricant.
Use plenty of Coconut oil on your fingers and toys.
If you don't mind leaking a bit when you finally get your ass open you can put some coconut oil in your ass and now becomes self lubricating from inside.
One sure way to relax the sphincter, if you don't have a heart issue, is using poppers.
Enjoy the journey.

 

[mmmniple]

Use a finger and go slowly.
If you feel pain : STOP

 

[ILoveGames48]

There is no such thing as too tight for anal .. trust me when I say this.


But there’s a line called GRUNT. That is really slick plus has a chemical to help relax your asshole for penetration..

I’ve never used stuff like this over the years .. because it’s all about foreplay and relaxing for the guy you trust.. if don’t trust the guy you are with this will tense and tighten your ass ..

 

[ILoveGames48]

And if I can take 11 inch cock when I was 19 I am sure your asshole will open to the occasion hehe

 

[bravesoldier]

Patience and a determination like you never imagined are required to be a bottom that can take cock, smaller or large. It's probably not that you aren't relaxed as much as you think. Lube yourself internally. Buy a cheap oral syringe if you have to and put the lube up in your hole. Lube the outside of the hole good. Something WILL go in.. There is no other way to accomplish a seasoned hole than to go slow and be very patient. Your hole is way tougher than you may think, will stretch and if acclimated right, will not hurt you. Start with small objects or toys and work bigger and bigger. Get toys with enough length and make your goal to go deeper each time. Deep penetration will hurt because your hole isn't used to the invasion and your muscles will rebel naturally.

But your hole will remember the stretch and you will acclimate. Bottoming is not for the faint at heart. Just work at it and next thing you know you'll be craving anal more than you thought you ever would.

Just remember, it takes more determination than anything.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Yes .. anyone tell you it’s not bad.. is lying to you.. first time or two does hurt some( depending on your pain threshold )

But also when get fucked by other dicks bigger or even around same size hurts some as it’s stretching f your hole more than it’s used to..

All cocks feel different and guys fuck differently .. but I became what you call a “ cum dump “ as my ass wanted to be filled with both the cock and their cum..

 

[Brodie888]

If you play in the shower, don't use soap as a lubricant.
Use plenty of Coconut oil on your fingers and toys.
If you don't mind leaking a bit when you finally get your ass open you can put some coconut oil in your ass and now becomes self lubricating from inside.
One sure way to relax the sphincter, if you don't have a heart issue, is using poppers.
Enjoy the journey.

Something to add to this is melting the coconut oil in a tray, setting it to semihard in the freezer, then cutting it up into dice sized pieces and storing them in a jar in the refrigerator.

When you want to play, stick a cube up your ass and let it melt. Et voila! A well internally lubricated rectum without the mess of lube everywhere. (Still need to lube the toy/penis but only enough for it to slide in.)

 

[Stingray08]

Gun oil is my go to for frictionless fun, but if I want to feel some friction/heat/skin pulling in and out, good ole petroleum jelly is the go to.

As far as the too tight, nah, it’s about finding the way to relax through the initial pain, and going very very slowly. My second time bottoming I thought I would just hop on my partners rock hard dick and immediately ride it without prep. Prep is always needed. Always a little at a time. When I slid down on it too fast I jumped off of it so damn fast and it hurt like hell for a solid couple minutes. It was a good lesson in figuring out how to take it slow.

I usually have my partner press half his head in just to spread things around and hold until the stretch passes, then the whole head, then pause, then I take control and slowly allow more in until it’s all in, then I hold again. After the entire thing has been in and I’ve adjusted I am good to go the rest of the time for sure.

 

[BC22x15]

I would think that starting off with one finger then two, even three before the cock instead of starting with the cock.
For those longer cocks, fingers will not be enough, get a toy a bit smaller then your cock before you move on to the real cock.
Poppers help if you have a good ticker.

 

[Dannyb_26]

Hey guys any advice much appeciated. I love playing with my ass, i can take a fare sized metal plug and really enjoy it. But when i use a dildo or toy i struggle to take much length just feel like hitting a wall! How do guy take such long toys?

 

[BC22x15]

20 minutes of squeezing it as it inches inward.

 

[mmaromo]

Hey guys any advice much appeciated. I love playing with my ass, i can take a fare sized metal plug and really enjoy it. But when i use a dildo or toy i struggle to take much length just feel like hitting a wall! How do guy take such long toys?

Get some anal dilators that have some length to them. Play everyday, I'd recommend at least 3 consecutive days before moving up to the next size, but you can take more time and go at your own pace. Whatever is most comfortable for you. Don't forget to use lube either. Layback, relax, and enjoy.

 

[Dannyb_26]

Get some anal dilators that have some length to them. Play everyday, I'd recommend at least 3 consecutive days before moving up to the next size, but you can take more time and go at your own pace. Whatever is most comfortable for you. Don't forget to use lube either. Layback, relax, and enjoy.

Thankyou so much @mmaromo i got a few new toys and managed to reach my second hole? With a long thin toy it felt amazing! I also got a nice thick, soft real feel suction dildo it is oit of this world i love him lol

 

[BC22x15]

There is no such thing as too tight for anal .. trust me when I say this.


But there’s a line called GRUNT. That is really slick plus has a chemical to help relax your asshole for penetration..

I’ve never used stuff like this over the years .. because it’s all about foreplay and relaxing for the guy you trust.. if don’t trust the guy you are with this will tense and tighten your ass ..

Hi, can you tell me more of this GRUNT you referred to ?

 

[summeradv]

It's like mostly mindset thing. You need to accept you're getting fucked and you need to like it even before cock touches you.

 

[ILoveGames48]

The thing is.. it all boils down to this.. you deciding to do it..

And some people say they don’t feel a thing and can’t figure out why guys like bottoming..

Then there are those that love how the cock feels inside them..

Then people ask what it feel like.. some say it feels like one thing .. others say another thing..

And it’s just that it feels different for everyone e.. it’s not like there’s a certain feeling that each have .. they all are different and each cock get fucked by feels different