AI boyfriend - worth it or not?

[twincities81]

Hi. I’ve been really lonely lately, and everything in my life has been going wrong. I keep seeing all these ads for “build your own AI boyfriend” websites which cost money, and I’m kinda considering it, maybe. They say that it uses AI for the guy to send you anything but comforting texts to hot pics. I don’t know, I kind of already live in my own world anyway. My questions are these:
1) has anyone tried this? Does it work? How does it work?
2) do you have to continuously pay like a subscription or is it a one time deal?
3) will it totally screw up my emotions? (I feel like erotic stories have already done a number on me)

I really want to meet someone IRL but the apps all suck, I am not into gay bars or drinking in general really, and I’m a bit fragile, both emotionally and physically (I have something surgically implanted in my body so I have to be very careful about physical contact, it is not something that most 30-somethings have so whoever sees me naked or touches me…will have questions). I could lose 10-15 pounds (and believe me, I’ve been trying) and I just do not know if there is anyone out there for me, male or female. (I don’t really identify as any specific sexuality, I was in a relationship with a woman once and I actually really liked it, but I suspect that I loved her personality/affection more than the sex, even though both were good, and I’ve rarely imagined myself with a woman or had crushes on many I’ve met).

But I’m blathering. Any answers to aforementioned questions much appreciated. Or positive words too.

 

[chrisrobin]

wtf

 

[dreamer20]

Hi. I’ve been really lonely lately, and everything in my life has been going wrong. I really want to meet someone IRL...I was in a relationship with a woman once and I actually really liked it, but I suspect that I loved her personality/affection more than the sex

An AI boyfriend doesn't address your desire to find companionship with real life people. If you really want to meet someone IRL, then do just that. You could volunteer to feed underprivileged persons for starters. You've managed to find companionship before and can do so again.

 

[pike00]

Personally I think I would not be able to get over the fact that it is artificial. I would have a much stronger emotional connection with a pet.

But the dating meat market... Ugh

 

[Topher the Gopher]

Well, it's about the same as those Japanese guys who have pillows for girlfriends, only it requires less imagination.

 

[Ernestoteles]

In the future, AI friends will undoubtedly outperform human friends because they can use big data to choose the best communication strategy in seconds and fine-tune it for each interaction. Humans tend to say rather meaningless and unpredictable things, so the AI friend has a lot more to offer.

Such an AI friend would probably assume that you are an introverted feeler who procrastinates forever because there is no immediate reward and overlooks the long-term effects of your decisions (MBTI: ISFP). He would also assume that you are currently completely listless and have no control over your life, external locus of control, as they say. This means that your prospects of pulling yourself out of the mire are poor.

The AI friend would immediately know that you have an extreme need for validation because your thoughts are mostly self-defeating, and would discreetly ask questions whose answers provide facts that allow it to validate. Good or not so good advice will not help you in your situation because you will not follow it.

What problems do you have in your marketing? (1) You don't know exactly what the product you want to market is, (2) you can't get yourself to put it in the best possible condition, and finally (3) you don't like the usual places of marketing. So you wish for a different world, where the same person knocks on your door to free you from your lethargy.

You shouldn't be looking for a lover or a friend, but first of all a very (a) extraverted and (b) dominant (c) helper who can't resist taking other people under his wing in order to build him up, or in a less charming word, to normalise him. Where do you find such helpers? Everywhere where people do something unpaid for a ‘good cause’.

You then have to prove yourself in this work and can talk about your problems over time. Helpers immediately pick up on every call for help (and also misinterpret many comments as a call for help) and will help you if you have done a good job. Helpers want to be loved, so you should validate them extensively, even before they start helping you.

The money you don't spend on the AI friend can then be donated to the charitable organisation, preferably in a situation where many people are watching. It should be obvious that you have had to struggle with yourself because you can't really spare any money at the moment. And so on.

I already know what your objections will be, but I'm not a helper nor an AI friend, so I won't try to refute them in advance. You may deal with your excuses all by yourself!

 

[Intellectualmeat]

Hi. I’ve been really lonely lately, and everything in my life has been going wrong. I keep seeing all these ads for “build your own AI boyfriend” websites which cost money, and I’m kinda considering it, maybe. They say that it uses AI for the guy to send you anything but comforting texts to hot pics. I don’t know, I kind of already live in my own world anyway. My questions are these:
1) has anyone tried this? Does it work? How does it work?
2) do you have to continuously pay like a subscription or is it a one time deal?
3) will it totally screw up my emotions? (I feel like erotic stories have already done a number on me)

I really want to meet someone IRL but the apps all suck, I am not into gay bars or drinking in general really, and I’m a bit fragile, both emotionally and physically (I have something surgically implanted in my body so I have to be very careful about physical contact, it is not something that most 30-somethings have so whoever sees me naked or touches me…will have questions). I could lose 10-15 pounds (and believe me, I’ve been trying) and I just do not know if there is anyone out there for me, male or female. (I don’t really identify as any specific sexuality, I was in a relationship with a woman once and I actually really liked it, but I suspect that I loved her personality/affection more than the sex, even though both were good, and I’ve rarely imagined myself with a woman or had crushes on many I’ve met).

But I’m blathering. Any answers to aforementioned questions much appreciated. Or positive words too.

This sounds like it’ll exacerbate your problem instead of helping. Focus on actual intimacy with a person instead.

 

[Fieldrun]

“build your own AI boyfriend” websites which cost money

My advice... No! Keep your money!

 

[vnesebtm]

AI for role play, yes.
AI for dating, no.

 

[Brodie888]

You would be better off with something like Secondlife where you interact with real people in an artificial world. There are gay communities there.

An AI boyfriend will just tell you what you want to hear which is not going to prepare you for the real world. Not to mention bleed your bank dry.

Whether real life or AI. It is never healthy to have a financially transactional relationship. It's just deluding yourself.

 

[Beekeeper13]

Depends on what type of person you are. If you form emotional attachments really easily, I would caution against it. If you keep the mind set it’s just for fun and a filler till I meet someone, then yeah.
But read the fine print, find out the full operating costs. They should have a breakdown. Also be careful this AI stuff is all new, we have no idea what it will do once installed on your device. Do a lot of research on the different companies, find one you feel you can trust. No one here can tell you to do it or not do it. In the end the choice is your, and from the perspective of your question. I have a feeling you are already decided. Good luck, and remember there are chat rooms everywhere you can talk to other men who for numerous reasons are not dating anyone.
I have in the past purchased one of those high end Sex dolls to fill the void. He now sits in a closet covered with a sheet. But the cost was up front. I would do group chats and guys would direct me what to do next a lot of them wanted to talk and just find a connection with me. Till I meet someone who has taken my heart.

 

[zzzakkk88]

You would be better off with something like Secondlife where you interact with real people in an artificial world. There are gay communities there.

An AI boyfriend will just tell you what you want to hear which is not going to prepare you for the real world. Not to mention bleed your bank dry.

Whether real life or AI. It is never healthy to have a financially transactional relationship. It's just deluding yourself.

yep no different than a irl moneyboy or sugarbaby. when money changes hands, alters the relationship

 

[hunGreek]

You should check out some movies like "HER", or even "bladerunner 2046" , or some episodes of black mirror that touch upon this subject.
its an inevitable progress of technology, that will make alot of permanently single people feel better, we havent even seen the tip of the iceberg yet.

However, bear in mind, that its very likely, that if you follow the AI path, you will permanently mess up your dating expectations. An AI boyfriend will tell you exactly what you want to hear, tell you he loves you forever, never betray you, never be late for a date, never gain weight, always laugh at your jokes, never disagree with you, wouldnt have ex'es and probably look like an model.

You mention erotic stories have already done a number on you, so you realise that your expectations can be permanently damaged from an AI boyfriend. having an AI boyfriend would be the tombstone of you ever finding a real human partner. I would advise you to try some therapy first to face reality better, i would only reccommend AI boyfriend to people that are terminally single, from your description you are just an average joe, so unless you live in antarctica, you can find sex and LTRs. there are still alot of average people looking for LTRs

Regarding payments, you should carefully check the terms and conditions. and such companies want to make a profit, so its not gonna be $6.99 for the rest of your life. having said that, i believe the emotional effect of having the perfect digital boyfriend, is much more important than the money.