Straight friend would not stop teasing….

[Southeasterner]

I think you need to put yourself first in this situation. You don't want to admit that you're bi, so don't admit it.

When he starts playing these games, ask him: "- This is getting repetitive. Do you want to tell me something? I don't like mind games and you're acting confused. Is something going on that I don't know about?". This way, you'll put him in a position where he'll have to decide whether to tell you something or stop playing these games.

If he doesn't talk about himself, don't expose yourself, especially since you're both black men. If he comes out as bi, you can think about whether or not you want to tell him that you're bi too, but then think about whether it's worth it. Otherwise, use your energy for something else, like studying or working.

I had a straight College friend who kept teasing me because he knew I was gay even though I hadn't told him, but I realized that it was a strategy he used to have power over me. So little by little I started moving away from him because I saw that I was wasting time with flirtations that wouldn't come to fruition.

 

[Dyspo Negero]

I think you need to put yourself first in this situation. You don't want to admit that you're bi, so don't admit it.

When he starts playing these games, ask him: "- This is getting repetitive. Do you want to tell me something? I don't like mind games and you're acting confused. Is something going on that I don't know about?". This way, you'll put him in a position where he'll have to decide whether to tell you something or stop playing these games.

If he doesn't talk about himself, don't expose yourself, especially since you're both black men. If he comes out as bi, you can think about whether or not you want to tell him that you're bi too, but then think about whether it's worth it. Otherwise, use your energy for something else, like studying or working.

I had a straight College friend who kept teasing me because he knew I was gay even though I hadn't told him, but I realized that it was a strategy he used to have power over me. So little by little I started moving away from him because I saw that I was wasting time with flirtations that wouldn't come to fruition.

Thanks, I think so too, that’s why I’m moving out, the thing is I wouldn’t have been so deep if we didn’t share a special bond, we been friend for like 10 years, but I still don’t see the point in “doing this to keep the power”, he has gf, he may not be super close with his family but they are physically close.

I quickly saw that like you mentioned it could of been a power play because it seems like he would get uncomfortable if I pushed further (physically) and at a certain point I would do it on purpose so that he could stop. He would and then come back stronger, which would confuse me especially since he would start.

I’m also super curious what did ur friend end up doing?

 

[Southeasterner]

When we were alone, he made spicy jokes and comments, like saying he liked anal sex, but it was always in a joking tone. He did tease me, but I couldn't tell it was an invitation, because it was flirting disguised as a joke.

However, since he noticed that I was gay, he obviously knew that talking about anal sex would generate my interest, especially since I was gay, but I didn't talk about it. Since he wasn't a friend, just a colleague, over time I started to distance myself, because I realized I was wasting my time.

Some people like to feel admired, it's good for their ego, but I got tired of waiting for something that was very confusing to me. After all, he had a girlfriend and he said he was straight... So, if he wanted to feel admired/desired/considered beautiful and/or attractive, he should have looked for it from her; I got tired of clapping my hands for nothing.